Panic attack before sex?

Question

I am 19 yrs old and have been with my bf(whose 18 yrs old) turned fiancee now for just over 8 months.Both of us are in 2 different colleges but find ways to have quality time anyway.When we met it was love at first sight and caught me totally off guard because i had just gotten over my first love.He at the time was just looking for a female friend with potenital to be a hook up and what not.We are polar opposites i am more shy-laidback and he's outgoing-aggressive.Three months after we met he proposed ring and all were going to elope but friends
talked us into waiting.Thus far no sex though?I have only been with 1 guy so i am nervous because he's been with well over 10 girls.He mentions what each was good at.I worry that i might not add up to past girls and feel very uncomfortable esp. when he starts to put a lot of pressure on me.Last time this happened i had a full blown panic attack?

It was horrible i started shaking,sweating,and could not breathe.Is this normal?

Answer 1

Why are you going to marry a man who is pressuring you into ANYTHING?
give the ring back and find a guy who can wait and who will respect you for the wonderful woman you are. He does exist but you'll never find him if you marry this idiot!

Answer 2

Well, First off, upon reading the first part of your question I thought you two as a couple was cute, upon continuing to read he just started to sound more and more like a jerk. I am sure that is not what you want to hear, but read your own answer. First of all, NO BODY should pressure you into having sex. Your body is YOUR pride. Don't let anyone take that away from you. It seems to me, given all the details, that you THINK you might have gotten over your first love but you didn't. Not saying that you aren't over him NOW but in the bginning your bf was just, well...there. Now I am not going to tell you to leave him but I will ask you to consider this: If he really loves you why is he pressuring you. The problem with that is that you said you went into a full blown panic attack. How hard WAS he pressuring you?? Besides that what is he doing mentioning to you what the other irls were good at?? Unless you asked, where as if that was the case, he still should have common sense to make you feel confident after his little "stories". You don't want to marry someone who insists on telling you about his sexual encounters or who will just tell you at the drop of a hat. You also shouldn't want to be marrying someone who is pressuring you to the point of panic attacks. That might be your body telling you somehing. Follow your instinct. Next time he pressures you, don't hesitate and tell him "No, you know how I feel about that", (or whatever suits your vocabulary.) Tell him blankly and forwardly. Don't GIVE him a chance to start pressuring you, leave it at that and by his reaction or attitutde you will be able to tell how he feels about not getting what he wants. Its not like you guys have been dating for years, you just started, he shouldn't be pressuring you, especially if your engaged. Doesn't he have his WHOLE life to have sex with you??????

Answer 3

I have read some litterature about panic attacks. But they allways seem to have a more scientific approach and that is nothing I need in my struggle to survive those horrible panic attacks. This is a "hand on" and very practical book. I felt it was written to me. I am sure that you are going to feel the same.

Joe Barry writes exactly how I think. The examples are perfectly described. And the method is genius. I recommend this book and thanks Joe Barry for writing it. It changes your life

Answer 4

Sweet Pea it is normal for you because you only had sex one time. Don't feel intimidated if you are not ready just let him know. See a man shouldn't pressure you if he loves you. remember your experience will be far better because you haven't given yourself to alot of man and that is great. Good luck on the decisions you make!

Answer 5

It's probably your bodies way of saying "slow down." A big fat warning sign. Engagement after 3 months? He's pressuring you? If someone told you this problem what would you say?

Well, maybe you need to examine this relationship with your head and not your heart.

Answer 6

it sound liike your body trying to tell you something, it nerves
which is normal, but it also sound like you are not ready to
be with this man whom you only know for 8 months also the
fact you are still quite young. sometime you just need to
listen to what be said. take some time to deal with what
really going on here. then relax and do what is right for
you and dont let him pressure to do anything.

Answer 7

you're totally normal.

Sounds like you need more sensual foreplay (not sexual to the extent) and patience...

You might "start" things - but that doesn't mean you avhe to finish anything. Playing around and falling asleep in one another arms is a great comfort. Don't force yourself to do what you're not ready for. Help him be intouch with his feminime side interms of being very gentle and intune with YORU feelings.

Take it slow, and don't rush it. Sleeping with one another doesn't necessarily have to be SLEEPING with one another.

*added: Don't discuss your ex's with one another. Especially interms of sex - and don't feel like you need to live up to their reputations, you are your own person!

Answer 8

yes its normal, but he should not talk about his other girl friends like that, kind of tacky if u ask me

Answer 9

what the hell are you doing????? live a little before you make a mistake.