I'm so confused right now. About 6 months ago I moved in with my best friend of 8 years. She's like my sister and I love her so much but she is in some serious trouble. She is completely irresponsible with her money. The first four months went ok, better then ok really.
In June she didn't pay the electric. I thought no big deal, we all make mistakes. She can pick it up on this one. (I found out when we got the bill in July). Then in the middle of June, her car was repossessed. She still won't tell me the whole truth and I only know how much she owes cause her mom told me. Now I got a notice today that our electric is going to be turned off if the two past due bills aren't paid by the 17th of this month.
What pisses me off most is she just won't talk to me about it. I try and she completely ignores me. I don't know what to do anymore. I need some advice. What are some ways I could try and get her to talk to me? Am I overreacting? I need help, asap.
2007-08-07 16:24:00 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
See the thing is, she has two jobs. I only have one. She atleast makes about 300 more then me every two weeks. I just don't know where it goes. I think it just may be she spends like she has it and to hell with what happens next. This is the impression I have only because she won't tell me what is really going on in her head. I have until Feb to live with this cause the lease is signed and what's done it done. I can't afford to even give her a few bucks if I wanted to cause I myself am living paycheck to paycheck.
Thanks for all the advice so far, I know whatever I do it's going to be insanely hard. I just wanted to know if I was justified in what I was feeling.
2007-08-07 16:43:20 · update #1
Although you have been friends for so long and she knows how you feel about her, she may feel attacked or judged by you about the situation. Often people feel this way when they feel so badly about what they have done, and they try to make it the other person's fault (or just get really mad at you).
I strongly suggest writing her a letter stating that you are only trying to help and that you mean no harm and that you still love her like a sister. Sometimes the way a person takes our tone of voice makes us sound differently than we mean, and a letter could solve that.
Ask her if there is anything that you can do to help.....other than forking over all the money.
Did she lose a job or something to make it so hard financially for her, did anything else happen in her life that would put her here? I just want to make sure I am not missing anything.
As much as we love our friends, these situations make things sooo hard on a relationship.
Just try not to use accusatory language and try to let her take a step toward you.
Good Luck!
2007-08-07 16:34:49 · answer #1 · answered by rikki_jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should really consider if this is the best living arrangement for you. If you arent happy then maybe you should move out. If your friend is falling down you dont want to go with her. Ty and get her some help but make sure that you are in a good place before you do that.
good luck.
2007-08-07 16:29:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like she respects you, and can care less. You have to focus on your self at this time, because the situation you are in will risk your credit and living conditions. If you are able to get out of the lease with her the sooner the better.She isn't concerned about you at this time or herself. You have tried to speak with her and she ignores you. It is clear your situation is going to get much worse quickly. Let her mom deal with her daughter. The mother knows more of what is going on than you do, and will be better prepared to assist her. Take care of you!!!
2007-08-07 16:49:30 · answer #3 · answered by RT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, you sure do need help. Tell her to pay up or move out. Your anger is justified. If she is willing to explain doesn't matter unless you are willing to carry her load for a while. Her irresponsibility will quickly reflect on you if you let it go on.
2007-08-07 16:32:28 · answer #4 · answered by Jann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't confide in you then you must move on, you have to think of your quality of life, do you want to be without the comforts of life. Maybe you should take over the bills. People need to want help before they get it.
2007-08-07 16:29:11 · answer #5 · answered by 400lbtwins 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seriously sit down and talk to her this could go too far and end up really bad.. even losing the house
2007-08-07 16:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a tough one because while you have a financial agreement, she's still your friend. i think you'll be the best friend you can be by kicking her out. she's not being much of a friend if she is willing to not meet her end of a mutual agreement...
2007-08-07 16:27:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
move out asap before the s**t hits the fan
2007-08-07 16:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by Dontugetit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋