why do i feel this way? and am i as ugly as i feel? (pic inside)?

Question

i hate myself. everything about myself makes me want to die. how i look, talk, handle things
and espescially my past (its pretty ****** up, trust me)
i'm 14, 5'10' (tall, i know) and a recovering anorexic/cutter, i've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and i'm homeschooled because of it, i'm going back soon tho. anyways i just hate myself. on my bad days, these usually happen once, twice, maybe three times a week, i totally fall apart over it. i hate myself all the time but on these days its the worst. i gained ALOT of weight (due to being on a new anti depressant, zyprexa.. its the worst ******* thing that ever happend to me!) after being discharged from hospital, so i went from 136 to 175 lbs, and i'm 162 now.. it wont come off. i've been off of zyprexa for atleast 2 - 3 months now and i'm not eating much, exercising as much as possible and taking some weight loss pills.
this is me
http://i16.tinypic.com/4tftoir.jpg
be as judgemental as you wish. and i kno my hair sucks

give me the truth, the brutal truth

we dont kno eachother we aint friends so it really doesnt matter if you say something i dont like

also tell me
(on a scale of 1 - 10) how ugly am i?
1 being not at all
10 being a ******* troll

again, 10 being a ******* troll..

1 being not ugly at all.

Answer 1

No matter what I say it's not going to change how you feel about yourself, but seriously you are super cute! You just have to wipe the frown off your face. Your a really pretty girl, play up those bright blue eyes with some eyeliner if you feel insecure. At 5'10 and 162 pounds you are healthy, NOT fat!

I love your hair! The color is perfect! And you can do so many cute styles with it!

On your scale of 1-10 I give you a BIG 0 :o) You're better than a 1.

Answer 2

For got sake, that should be -5, you're more beautiful than you think you are.

You're only 14, look wise, you're gonna grow up into a beautiful woman. And for everything else, its gonna change, alot more than you'll ever imagine. Once you've hit 21, you'll be a completely different girl.

You're tall, that's good and don't worry too much about your weight. Different people have different weight, and it doesn't necessarily means you'll look fat. When a person judge your look, they look at you, not the figure that came out of the weighing machine.

Answer 3

You are actually quite pretty, you just don't want to notice it.
The problem is not so much in you (your looks are definitely not an issue!), but in your family.
You were obviously criticized too often by parents or someone close, and that is what you got used to and are doing to yourself. (if you don't agree, it only shows how anaware you are of the way it was done - there are millions of ways to put someone down).
Try to find someone you respect for their wisdom, love, gentleness among your family or friends, and be as close to them as possible. Learn from that person(s), learn to be kind, gentle and wise.
In the worst case, those same things can be found in books.
If you decide that your goal in life is to be happy, you will find the means to get there.

Answer 4

U r Very pretty.Just don't care what people think of u.I don't think I look all that good b/c I'm slightly overweight but I just don't care how I look so long as I have friends that love me and care 4 me.Just don't think about about how u look or sound.Also just let go of the past b/c it's only going 2 hold u back just love yourself b/c you R youself and not a fake.also don't worry about your weight it'll come off in a few years so don't worry about it u look just fine.Your looks a helluva lot better than mine does by the way so don't beat youself up about it!

Answer 5

You are not at all ugly. My daughter is 6'3" and 145lbs. You and she share the same beautiful blue eyes. Your hair is fine, its just down, you know, casual. You have a good shape to your face. A little confidence would make you a very attractive girl. Learn to love yourself and find a hobby or activity that is useful to not only you but to other people. Good luck.

Answer 6

If you had a smile on your face you'd probably be a 10. You look like a kid any parent would be proud to have. Give yourself some credit.

Answer 7

Smile and stay with the meds. You'll be fine, being 14 isn't always easy.

Answer 8

your not ugly at all but if you were trying to make yourself look more appealing i would totaly wear eyeliner (on the bottom only) and mascara (on the top only) love your hair (i have the same hair color as you and i love it ) [i think every girl should wear eyeliner and mascara]

Answer 9

STOP THINKING OF YOURSELF LIKE THAT!!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HAVE THE MOST AMAZING EYES. THAT'S THE BRUTAL TRUTH HANDLE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!