I found out a couple of days ago that my husband has been telling women he works with intimate details of our marriage specifically about me. I've never met these women but he's telling them everything I tell him in confidence. I feel embarraced and humiliated. I've asked him to stop but he becomes angry and doesn't see that it's a problem. I don't want to tell him anything anymore because I'm scared he'll tell them.
What should I do?
2007-08-07 14:18:55 · 19 answers · asked by rhaevyn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't blame you for not wanting to tell him anything anymore. What a blatant violation of privacy. Not to mention disrespect for your feelings after telling him to stop.
Perhaps during a calm time, when both of you are at ease, you can ask him why. Tell him you just want to understand why he feels the need to talk to these women and what he gains from it. Does he gain insight into what's happening for you I'd kinda doubt it since he won't respect your wishes to stop talking to them.
Also ask him if his relationship with these women are more important than his relationship with you. If not, he should be willing to give it up. If so, I suggest counseling.
2007-08-07 14:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by goodcook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing with my husband he would tell me how a female co-workers husband doesn't love her anymore and so on and so on I said why are the women you work with coming in your office talking to you about their personal life. I told him i didn't like it and it's not right. It didn't stop there he would tell me he had a meeting and him and a couple of the guys were going to stop and have a beer would that be OK with you, sure i would say after all i trusted him. No meeting just him and all the females in his office and a few of the guys started going out after work to happy hour and staying until 9 or 10 at night. He started having an affair with one of them and it all started with the two of them just talking. I never in a million years thought my husband could or would do that to me,but he did. He got caught in a females web and didn't know how to get himself out. Watch out for the women where he works they don't care about you or the fact that he is a married man if one of them want him you don't stand a chance only because it's done behind your back.
2007-08-07 21:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say to him, "Hunny, how would you like it if i told all of your co-workers, friends and family all of your little intamit details, as well as your little imperfections that only i know about? See how you feel then".
He has no right to be telling the whole world of you private life. That's your own issues, your own problems, your own life, and you don't need it broadcasted to people who don't even mean a thing in this world to you or him.
Seriously, ask him that, and tell him how he's invading your personal space, and if he REALLY doesn't see a problem in that, then he should go see a psychiatrist, or you want a divorce, for him being so selfish as to not complying with your wishes. You're spouses, trust is a big commitment, and if you can't trust him, you've not got much of a marriage.
Don't take anymore of his BS, set it to him straight.
He may be the head of the house, but the wife is the neck and can turn the head anyway she wants!
Take care,
xx
2007-08-07 21:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you talk to your work friends about the good, bad and ugly in your life? If you do, it would be a double standard to expect he can not do the same. Unfortunately we spend more time with the people we work with than those we love, therefore many people form friendships at work and confide in those people. The benefit to your husband could be he is getting a females point of view he trusts and that person does not know you or know you well. Everyone needs someone to confide in, if it is a problem discuss it with your husband, explain and accept he can discuss things with his co workers but set reasonable limits such as your sex life are off limits.
2007-08-07 21:36:19 · answer #4 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last time you talked to him did you ask him how he will feel if you talk to his friends and your friends about him, like how he is in bed and what ever comes to mind?? Your husband is bragging to those people and that is a no,no, "privacy act". HE must know how to respect you as a woman not as his wife. And yes you were right, don't talk to him about anything right now because he run his big mouth for no reason just to get some attention from those girls.
If I were you I will keep what I do each day, just act normal and just talk to him about what you will make for dinner or if he bothers you just talk about the show that you've seen on TV, and this will teach him something. Just act normal and fo not even worry about what he might say, you can't trust him right now....sorry about that!!!
2007-08-07 21:51:41 · answer #5 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has no respect for you at all. I would be embarrassed to. He doesn't see it as a problem because he likes to interact with the females so if he is telling all they stay intrigued about his life. You cant really do anything but make a bigger scene at his workplace if you say anything. If you don't care and are already embarrassed enough go to his job and totally embarrass him back. I'm pretty sure there is something that you could expose that will do the trick.
2007-08-07 21:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really curious as to how you discovered this.
Are these things he tells them problems in your marriage? If so, then tell him you will find a marriage counselor that he can talk to and keep it out of the workplace. He's not being very professional.
If he's just bragging, then he has a big mouth.
2007-08-07 21:23:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a girl. This is a private matter and not fodder for the water cooler. He's trying to play the sympathy card so he can get some. Take it from a guy: he sounds juvenile and ashamed to admit that he obviuosly cant satisfy you.
2007-08-07 22:00:12 · answer #8 · answered by csiders30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should be assamed of himself, the question is why does he feel that he needs to tell these women your initimate thoughts he should be assamed of himself. He has shown you that he does not care how this makes you feel. maybe you should give him a piece of his own dirt to swallow and see how he likes it. Any man that is going to bring your laundry out in the streets cannot be trusted, If he truly loved you he would have stopped once you confronted him.
good luck.
2007-08-07 21:39:24 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm surprised hes tellling a girl about this. Usually guys tell only their guy friends about intimate details.
You are completely and totally allowed to be angry about this. I mean I can imagine how you're feeling.
2007-08-07 21:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by Emily H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋