whats going to happen??/?

Question

the other day me and my friend went out to a bar.i dont go out much at all. anyways i went out and got trashed however my friend did to. she said she couldnt drive so i called a taxi. while we were in the parking lot she asked a guy for a lighter. she is married to just like me. anyways this guy happen to work with our husbands and she asked him and his girlfriend and his other friend to take us home. they said ok. when we got there she invited them in . however i was agianst this i wanted to walk home. she took my keys and told me they would be leaving. i have a husband who is very jealous and i knew the minute they took us home i would be in for some yelling. anyways i told my husband everything . however he doesnt believe me and thinks i screwed with one of the guys. i would never do that. i know i was in the wrong place and the wrong time i wished i had never went out. my husband forgives me one min and then is yelling at me about it the next. is my marriage dommed?

Answer 1

No, but he is holding this over your head, and he will have to stop. Either he forgives you and he drops it for good or he doesnt. He cannot have it both ways. This is the main reason married people should not go to bars or clubs. Find somewhere else to go with friends instead. He should be mature enough to let it go. It is done and over with now and nothing can be done about it to change it. The next time he brings it up, tell him that you appologized for what happened even though it was out of your control, and he either forgives you or he doesnt, either way he needs to drop it and you do not want to hear another thing about it and refuse to talk to him about it any further. I am sure he has done things you did not like. Bring those old things up to show him what it is like. It is childish. He just needs to grow up a bit more. Also, I would tell him that if I was trying to hide anything, then I never would have told him anything in the first place about it.

Answer 2

Your husband should have more faith in you unless you've given him a reason not to. Honestly, you'd think he would be at ease atleast knowing a friend from work was there, as I'm sure his friend would tell him what went on. I don't know. On the other hand if this were reversed and it was your husband that did this-how would you feel? It says alot though that you told him everything. Some woman might be tempted to keep some details to themselves in fear of a jealous husband. So, he should be glad you were open with him. I don't think your marriage is doomed. You just need to avoid letting yourself get into another situation like this. If there is a next time take the taxi by yourself if you have to, don't go off with a group of people you know your husband wouldn't approve of. He on the other hand needs to learn to trust you. Trust and communication are very important in a relationship. Just give it time and this will pass.

Answer 3

Your marriage isn't doomed. It'll take some time for your husband to figure out that your trustworthiness from the past doesn't leave room for the idea that you were screwing around. You'll both have to admit that you didn't make all the wisest decisions, but given a bit of time I'm sure you'll both admit that you did the best you could, given your circumstances. In the mean time, show some more responsibility, and it will help him let go of the incident sooner.

Answer 4

If he trusts you, then he SHOULD give the benifit of the doubt. But put yourself in his shoes for a minute......how would you feel if you knew your husband was i that situation? probably angry, scared, or both.

There's no reason for the yelling part, but try to hear him out and empathize with him. After that, If he can NEVER hear you out, and won't take a minute to listen and extend the same trust back to you, then it was doomed to begin with.

In the future, though, i'd say choose your friends carefully, but dont rule them out completely. A relationship cannot exist without compromise, and the will to overcome the worst possible situatuions together.

Answer 5

I think you hubby needs to pick a side. He either forgives you (for something you didn't do to begin with) or he is pissed at you. He can't have it both ways and you need to tell him that.

You were very open and honest with him about what happened and he should appreciate the honesty. I can understand him being upset with the situation, but to tell you that he thinks you slept with one of the guys, when you didn't is wrong and not very fair.

You need to sit him down and explain to him that you are very sorry for what happened that night and from now on, you will call him to come pick you up, should the situation ever arise again. You also need to let him know that you did not cheat on him and you don't appreciate him saying that you did. You also need to tell him that he either needs to accept your apology or be mad about the situation, but he can't do both.

Let him know how much you love him and that you would never do anything to jepordize his trust or your marriage.

Best of luck!

Answer 6

Your marriage is doomed only IF your husband is insecure.

There's no reason for you to feel guilty about going out and running into a co-worker of your husbands. As long as you were doing right, don't sweat the small stuff.

Sounds as if your husband needs an attitude adjustment regarding his insecurities.

Answer 7

This is the reason married men or women need to stay away from bars and clubs. He is hurt that these people brought you home. Stop listening to friends and do what you always think is best. This is what gets a lot of us in trouble when we tend to listen to them and not what we feel. I hope your marriage isn't doomed and I honestly believe he wouldn't end it over this.

Answer 8

You was very wrong to allow your friend control you to the point that she even took your key.
Any way accept all the yelling from your husband,but don't give up explaining to him that you didn't do anything wrong.
Either you need to show your husband that you are not like the way he thinks you are.
Do something to show him that you are there only for him.

Answer 9

There is really nothing you can do. You told him the truth about what happened and the fact that he can not believe you is on him. I think there are much more serious problems in a marriage than this one and he really needs to take a step back and just calm down.

Answer 10

Your husband is very insecure and needs to deal with his emotions. I won't suggest counselling (non-believer and waste of money, time and resources) but he's either gotta get it sorted or get over it.

Have the guys that work with him back you up if need be, although he'll probably rant and rave over that too. Your friend, knowing your predicament, should have known better, so she should front up to him.