Is an arranged marriage barbaric, or is it fair to both the man and the woman?

Question

Honest answers please!

Answer 1

We are past that century for arranged marriage... its not as fair because you cant go out into the world and explore the possibilities of finding love and having fun before you tie the knots with someone.

Answer 2

The one problem with having an arranged marriage, like they still do in India is that a lot of wives will be found dead by things like kitchen fires or etc.. if the husband grows tired of her because they do not believe in divorce. So in that case, yes its barbaric. Also in some of those cultures women are so demeaned by this practice they are not even allowed to meet the man they are going to marry until they are legally married and they up comes the sheet and then they are expected to be gracious their parents picked the perfect person. Dowreys are still used today in those parts of the world and sometimes, more often than not, a husbands family will come back and want more and if there is not more to be given, the woman might be found dead or found being highly mistreated in her husbands home.... most likely by her mother-in-law. I have studied a lot about these types of marriages and some have good things to say about it, but for the most part they are barbaric when the woman is treated with such abuse and disrespect. Even when you have people from those cultures living here, they are still arranging marriages and having wives brought here for the men who have in the meantime lost their virginity to American women, played around a bit to gain experience etc..... and then when the family feels its time for him to settle down they will make it known and find him a wife. The practice really should be outlawed as with the monies that go with it, but you would be really shocked to know how often it goes on right here in the good old USA

Answer 3

Its just a custom. Many countries have moved away from this custom. From what I hear the idea of romantic love didn't occur until the days of knights and their ladies.
If you are looking at results I don't know if choosing your own works out more successful than having it arranged.
It get complicated since some societies the arrangements are for the size of the dowry or the prestige of the family rather than the focus being on compatibility.
I think it seems barbaric if it is forced or if the girl is very young and the groom is old. That smacks of slavery or legalized prostitution rather than marriage.

Answer 4

If both the man and the woman are 100% aagreeable to the arrange marriage then no one else opinion matters. It is a religious belief or one that i would ever want to be partial to but there are lots of other beliefs in this life that i would`nt want to be partial to either. I do feel that some people however, are pushed into an arrange marriage. This is DEFINITELY out or order and completely barbaric!

Answer 5

It depends. Some friends of my parents had an "arranged marriage". But in their culture what that really means is that their families introduce them to "suitable" people in the hope that they will find someone they wish to marry, the expectation in that culture being that people will enter into a lifelong relationship and marry rather than hop from relationship to relationship. Their kids met their spouses the same way. All of those couples are married to people they love and are happy. It's more like an introduction network that anything, and I think that's actually a rather lovely idea!

Forcing people into a marriage with someone they don't love or even sometimes know is just wrong though in my opinion, nobody should be made to spend their life with someone who doesn't make them happy. I can't understand how parents could do that to their child.

Answer 6

I don't think that it is barbaric at all. Many cultures and generations have arranged marriages and people make it work. I know tht many were not happy marriages, but there are lots of unhappy marriages that people choose, of their own free will, to enter into. Just like a marriage that one chooses to be in, each partner has to choose to make it work, has to choose to do the right things, always.

Answer 7

Barbaric for sure but accepted in some cultures. I think it would be fair playing field for both the man and the woman considering neither of them know each other, a formal version of the American version of "The Dating Game". You never really know what you got until you have it in any marriage. It's all a crap shoot!

Answer 8

A marriage of choice is hard enough to sustain let alone one
that is arranged. It seems so inconceivable that one would want to spend the rest of there life with someone because of an arrangement instead of a choice. Love is an emotion and
a very unstable one at that . Your investing your life in the form
of a commitment to some one who you should view as your
chosen special life long partner based on love and who feel's the same way about you. And there in is the issue, you are
partners not designated slaves . . .

Answer 9

My gut instinct says 'barbaric' as you should not be told who to marry whether you are male and female , although having a number of friends that have been party to this , there are a number of pros and cons. These days a lot of couples are given the chance to get to know each other before a decision is made.


PRO's

* life and love is so fickle these days - is it not better to start with an open mind and learn to love??? - not a statement more of a debate
* Same social and cultural background
* Common friends

CON'S
* Girls seem to get paired with 'older' more established male and become domestics rather than wives
* Affairs
* Abuse



Also raises a number of questions in my mind - matchmaking has been going on for centuries . Modern dating is a new dimension - internet chat rooms , speed dating, blind dates , dating agencies - how different is that ???

Answer 10

personally i don't think it is right to choose one partner for life.. in the customs of arranging marriage.. they usally dont believe in divorce.so if they get suck with a real loser.. or a nut case they can not divorce ..in the past it may have worked..but now i am not so sure it does work.. i did ask about this one time and was told that most of the muslin who arrange the marriage for there children .. the children did get the choice of saying no to the person the parents choose and then the parent who look around again so each person in the arrangement agreed to it.. that sounded so much better