Is staying married because you have a kid together a good reason?

Question

Put it this way, without the kid I would definately not be with her. But, I want to see my kid everyday. I want him to be under my roof where I can take care of him. If we split, I would have him half of the time at best.

Answer 1

No, if you two are unhappy the kid will be too

Answer 2

OK,
I am not an adult (I am actually 13), and my mum and dad split up when I was 3. This was because they really didn't get along. I used to see my dad twice a week, nowadays I am lucky if I see him once a month. When my Dad comes to pick me up, he and my mum always have a little spit which occasionly turns into a fight, and I am in somewhat grateful that I don't have to be with them both together like this all the time...I still love my dad just as much as I love my mum and look forward to the days when I see him, I wouldn't reccomend staying with someone if you don't truely love them (but what would I know...I am 13!) Maybe try and stick it out for a few more months, if it still doesn't work out then perhaps consider...well, leaving, as long as there are no really hard feeling between you and your wife then you will be able to see your kid probably over half the time!
(And by the way because my dad doesn't see me that often he spoils me rotten which I sooooooo very much enjoy!...we still love dads or mums just the same...sometimes more....if they aren't with us all the time, it has made me realise the real important things in life)
Hope I have somewhat helped you.

Answer 3

Being a good parent means doing what you believe to be in the best interest of your child. Children are smart little creatures. Even very young children can sense when there is tension in the home even if you are not arguing. There is a lot of different things to consider when deciding to stay for the child's sake. Young children seem to adjust better to divorce than older children. (under age 2).

I would suggest you seek marriage counseling before you decide to leave. Exhaust all efforts to save your marriage and try to rebuild what drew you together in the first place. Marriage is a lifetime committment and you should do all that you can to live up to that committment. If you loved her enough to marry her and to have a child with her, you probably still love her to some degree. Establishing good communication, compromising, honesty and trust are just some of the key components to any successful relationship. Work on making yourself happy in small ways within the parameters of your marriage vows. Don't make any hasty decision that will effect you and your child the rest of your lives. Remember, time is somthing you can never get back--whether it is time with your child or time to be yourself. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

Sorry Blue collar, but NO that is not a reason to stay together-- it will only lead to more problems for you and your child down the line.....and you have a chance of having full custody depending on the state you live in and what kind of mother she is, and of course, how much money you have.

Do not stay together for the child no matter what----without you even knowing it, you will harvest resentment for that child and it will be based upon your happiness with your life because you don't love your wife...a child is not a possession, it is a blessing, and your child will become really messed up as the years go by when he becomes old enough to hear the two of you arguing about EVERYTHING--and it will happen no matter how much you say it won't right now....it will be automatic, just like brushing your teeth and eating breakfast. Bad mouthing eachother will be a mainstay conversation in your lives............get out now........seek a very good attorney before you leave and get the low down on custody........you would be surprised....if she did dope just once and you have proof, that could do her in as a fit mother in children's court..........that is, if she doesn't have the dirt on you.

good luck

Answer 5

I went through the exact same decision recently. What I learned is that children learn how to be a good mom, dad, husband or wife by watching their parents.

You want you children to observe and witness a healthy adult relationship. The first step of course is to make absolutely sure you can't work it out with your wife. If you can't, I believe you should move on. And, it's good for your kid if you and your ex ended up in new supportive loving relationships that your child can witness and learn from.

I found that I can actually spend more quality time with my children now that their mom and I are apart. Research shows that the relationship between children and their father usually improves following separation.

Again, I'm not suggesting you walk out now. The best possible scenario is for you and your wife to get counseling and figure out how to love each other again. If you can't do that, then I'd say it's time to split.

Hope that helps.

Answer 6

No staying married just because you have a kid is not a good or a healthy reason. I understand you want to see your child everyday but a child is better off coming from a broken home than living in one.

A child deserves and should only witness a happy loving marriage not a miserable one. If you stay in a bad marriage you would be doing him more harm than good.

Answer 7

Having taken marriage vows is the best reason to stay together. You promised, before God, to love, honor and cherish each other and to stay together through thick and thin. If it's not working, you need to try to fix it. If you have a child, you have extra incentive to try to mend your marriage so you can raise your child together. Children whose parents get divorced become scarred no matter what you do because all children love their mommies and daddies. It's unconditional love (as yours is for him). If I were you, I'd get into marriage counseling and try very hard to get back the love and devotion you had when you both got married. If, after a couple years, you find you just cannot do it, then you could consider a divorce. But, for the sake of the child, try to re-capture what it was that made you fall in love in the first place.

Answer 8

I think that if you are not happy , you should go your way. but try to work things out and be nice and get along for the kid. It take two people to make a child .so in my eyes no matter if you leave, you should be able to see your kid when you want.
but also the other one should also not have to stay home for you to come by and see the kid . call in advance and see if it is okay to come over. and if you dont want to leave maybe going to get some couniling for the marriage. And It is very hard on the kid to have two home. my parents divorce when i was young. so think about that child. god bless you.

Answer 9

Work the problems out. Go to relationship counseling, couples counseling. Communication is the key.
Divorce is very expensive. Divorce is only for men who are so miserable and mistreated that it would be worth it, because I am not kidding, it is very expensive.
Alimony and child support will take a lot of your paycheck and you won't have enough to live correctly on, for years. At times you would feel like some kind of slave, working for someone else's benefit and not your own.
Divorce is a tough road.

Answer 10

I don't think it is ever a good reason to stay married for the sake of a kid. Kids are smart and will find out that their parents aren't happy and will even find a way to blame themselves. Children are much better off with one parent who is happy as opposed to being with both parents who are miserable.

Answer 11

You need to ask this objectively. is the environment putting the kid at risk. If yes, break up for the good of the kid., If you and the spouse are civil staying would not be the worst.