The Patriot Act is supposed to protect the citizens of the United States, but is it worth having our freedoms taken away, guaranteed in our Bill of Rights?
Is that correct grammar?
Is it supposed to be a question mark or period?
Can you think of a more constructive way to pose this idea?
I'm trying to write a conclusion for an essay.
This is what I have:
Attorney General Ashcroft says the only purpose of the Patriot Act was "to prevent terrorists from unleashing more death and destruction." It is easy to argue and prove that there are significant flaws in the Patriot Act. These flaws threaten our fundamental freedoms such as giving the government the power and right to access to your medical records, tax records, information about books you buy or borrow without probable cause, and the power to break into your home and conduct secret searches without telling you for weeks, months, or indefinitely.
2007-08-07 10:02:07 · 11 answers · asked by Allora 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
The Patriot Act is supposed to protect the citizens of the United states. However, the Patriot Act infringes on our freedoms (that are guaranteed in the Bill of Rights). Is the Patriot Act, really, worth taking away the freedoms which this country is based upon?
2007-08-07 10:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by stv62575 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, this rewords the whole thing, but you padded it so much, it really needed cutting back. You don't need to say things like "It is easy to argue..." or keep repeating the same thing- present your argument and let the reader decide. Avoid uses of any form of "to be" like the plague- it adds words and is totally passive and non-forceful.
Attorney General Ashcroft stated that the Patriot Act will "prevent terrorists from unleashing more death and destruction." However, the act has significant flaws which threaten the fundamental freedoms guaranteed to all citizens in our Bill of Rights. Under the Patriot Act, the federal government has the right to access medical records, tax records, conduct home searches and investigate purchases or borrowing of books, without ever notifying the party subject to investigation.
Edit: I think I'd make it "the purchase or borrowing of books" to improve that phrase a bit.
2007-08-07 21:16:40 · answer #2 · answered by gehme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In conclusion, The Patriot Act is supposed to protect United States citizens. Is it worth having our guaranteed freedoms from the Bill of Rights taken away?
2007-08-07 17:06:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Patriot Act is supposed to protect the citizens of the United States, but is it worth having our freedoms, guaranteed in the Bill of Rights, taken away?
2007-08-07 17:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The Patriot Act, guaranteed in our Bill of Rights, is supposed to protect the citizens of the United States, but is it worth having our freedoms taken away ?
2007-08-07 17:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by MissyFlexsy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The Patriot Act is guaranteed in our Bill of Rights. It is supposed to protect the citizens of the United States, but is it worth having our freedoms eliminated?
2007-08-07 17:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Awesome Writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Patriot Act is supposed to protect the citizens of the United States; but is it worth having our freedoms - which are guaranteed by the Bill of Rights - taken away?
2007-08-07 17:11:40 · answer #7 · answered by twizz 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
With respect, I think it's a bit clumsy. How about: The Patriot Act is supposed to protect the citizens of the United States, but is it worth having our freedoms, as guaranteed in our Bill of Rights , taken away? Hope this helps.
2007-08-07 17:09:51 · answer #8 · answered by SKCave 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"The Patriot Act is supposed to protect the citizens of the United States. But is it worth having our Constitutionally guaranteed freedoms taken away?"
In the last paragraph: "However, it is easy to argue and prove that there are significant flaws..." and "These flaws threaten our fundamental freedoms by giving the government the power and right to access..." In the last sentence, "...conduct searches without your knowledge or consent."
And do indicate that Mr. Ashcroft is no longer attorney general. You could indicate that during his term as attorney general, John Ashcroft said....
2007-08-07 18:15:10 · answer #9 · answered by VeggieTart -- Let's Go Caps! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOURS:The Patriot Act is supposed to protect the citizens of the United States, but is it worth having our freedoms taken away, guaranteed in our Bill of Rights
MINE:While the Patriot Act was created as a means of protection, is it worth the potential loss of freedoms as guaranteed in the Bill of Rights?
**Ashcroft is the former AG. That needs to be noted in the essay. ***
***Do not begin your conclusion with "In conclusion." It's overused!****
2007-08-07 17:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by svengteach 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋