We are expecting our 2nd baby soon and my husband prefers not to be in the delivery room. The first birth was intense and he did not like being in there. Some of my friends are giving me a hard time about him wanting to opt out this time. What do y'all think??
2007-08-07 09:14:18 · 26 answers · asked by Knight of Malta 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Personally, I would never force someone to be present for the birth, even the father. My sister thought she wanted to be at my birth but then she got sick and then fainted when things got very painful and difficult for me.
Some people just don't handle being in the delivery room very well. Some people already know they can't deal with the sight of blood. And if they are going to freak out, it will put the doctor or midwife and staff on edge and they won't do their job as well.
Your husband is being honest with you and has experience to back it up. He does not have to be there with you to know that birth is an amazing thing, and that you are a trooper.
For hundreds of years, women have born children without being surrounded by doulas and husbands and friends, etc. All they need is one good midwife or doctor.
2007-08-07 09:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people, men and women alike, cannot handle the sight of blood and/or people in pain and such. Would he mind being in there until you go into transition and have the baby so that he can support you through the early and active stages of labor? If not, maybe consider hiring a doula and/or make sure you have someone else for support. My husband will be with me but I know he's going to have a hard time during the birth part also. He also told me that if I had to have a c-section (either planned or emergency) he would have no problem at all if I wanted general anesthesia rather than the spinal because he's knows that it still isn't pleasant even when numbed. If that was the case he wouldn't be able to be there but he put what I would want as first priority. Therefore, if you are ok with it then I'd say that your frineds need to understand that childbirth is not easy for mom's or dad's. It doesn't make him any less of a man or father in my opinion. Take care, good luck, and congrats on your 2nd baby!!
2007-08-07 09:34:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kittieashy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you didn't say how YOU feel about him not being there. If you're OK with it, then that's fine, but it sounds like this is all about him. It could be considered selfish of him not to be there just because he didn't like it. If he began sick or fainted because of the delivery, then maybe he should be excused. Otherwise, I feel that the husband should always be there for support. My husband was there for both of my deliveries, even when I had a c-section the first time with our twins.
2007-08-07 09:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by Island Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are ok with him not being there who cares what your friends think. But, if you want him to be there and he is trying to chicken out then you need to put your foot down and tell him that if you have to go through the pain of labor and delivery then he needs to be a man and hold your hand the entire time.
2007-08-07 09:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by Kris H 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't worry to much of what your friends think. I think that its somewhat honorable he was in there for the 1st one, but made the decision that he couldn't handle it. I would say if you are okay with him not being in there and he is not being immature and taking it seriously, then I guess it couldn't be the worst thing that would happen. But be sure to have one of your friends tape it, and play it on tv when he least expects it! haha Just kidding, or am I?
2007-08-07 09:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by Kristen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is squeamish, it is in every-ones best interest, that he stays out of the delivery room. He can always come in the moment the child is born, if he feels better doing that.
2007-08-07 09:20:59 · answer #6 · answered by connie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my hubby says he well never go into the delivery room again to. if you dont really need him in there he does not need to be there with you. just make sure you have someone else that will go in with you so your not alone. it can be really hard on a man to see is wife/love in that much pain. good luck
2007-08-07 09:54:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first I wanted my husband in there and was mad when he said he didn't want to be, but as it got closer I started thinking about what if I do something embarassing like fart or poop everywhere, lol. But he stayed anyway, and I pooped and he laughed.
I think that if you really want him to be there with you to offer comfort and support, then he should get over it and stay there. But if you aren't really partial to him being there, then there's nothing wrong with him waiting outside. As long as he's there to show love and support afterwards, both to you and his new baby.
2007-08-07 09:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by ChisseyGuwel 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
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2017-02-19 07:25:15 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesnt like seeing you in pain that is fine. my father wasnt in there for half of his kids. and he has 7 of us. he could take the first two and that was it. he kept passing out while in the delivery room because he couldnt stand the site and couldnt stand seeing my mother in pain. dont worry bout what your friends say who cares. they are not the parents. if he doesnt want to be in there that is his choice not theirs. Find someone else that can be in there with you. good luck.
2007-08-07 09:18:24 · answer #10 · answered by Momof4beautifulGirls! 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋