pregnant with 2nd baby?

Question

hi there, i am 23weeks pregnant with my second child and more scared about the labor than i was with my first, i think it cause i no whats going to happen (pain wise) i no how silly i sound as its my second and some will say why do it again but when it happens it happens. im excited cause im having a boy and ive got a 4yr old girl who is great, but im just so scared i never had any pain relief not even gas and air with my daughter because the midwife said i was doing fine,. even though i was crying and pleading for some. i thought it was because i was almost there but 9hrs later she still wouldn't give me any thing im scared its going to happen again i have wrote in my birth plan what pain relief i want but i also wrote it 4yrs ago plz help thankyou

Answer 1

Easy. Don't use the same midwife. If you wanted some pain relief & she wouldn't give it, then she was following her plan & not yours. Find someone who is completely into giving you what you want. And don't worry, you'll do fine.

Answer 2

Hi.

I'm also pregnant with my second and like you have felt apprehensive about the labour (mainly because I had a rough time with my first labour).

Most people say your first labour is always the worst and the second is usually quicker and easier.

I try to remind myself that no 2 labours are the same and hopefully this time it will be easier.

One thing I would say is don't allow anyone to tell you what pain relief you should or shouldn't have. Only YOU know what you are going through and how much pain you can take and so if you need pain relief then don't take no for an answer.

I was determined not to have an epidural with my first, but when it came to it I just knew I couldn't take any more pain as none of the other pain relief was working for me. Even though I'd said in my birth plan that I didn't want an epidural, the midwife listened to what I said and once she knew I was sure of what I wanted she got it arranged for me pretty quickly. Any good midwife should carry out your wishes.

Answer 3

I was petrified having my second child and planed on having all the pain relief available but had such an easy labour I needed none at all so nothing really goes exact to plan. Speak to your midwife a few weeks before your due date and tell her your concerns about what happened last time and when you do go into labour tell the doctors and nurses what your wishes are and get your partner to back you up. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and good luck with the birth just keep thinking about the little baby boy that you will have at the end of it all.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel. I'm pregnant with my 4th and I'm a little apprehensive about the birth because my last was a natural birth with no pain meds and I was screaming my head off from the pain.

Yet....I'm doing it again, just like you. Honestly, I'm going for the natural birth again and I'm just going to have to offer up the pain. I have to say I did feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment having gone through that for my baby's sake. My husband was amazed!

I bet you can look back and be proud of what you accomplished on the day your daughter was born. You can do this for your son, too.

So maybe you could try an unmedicated birth again. Maybe for both of us, it won't be so painful since our bodies have done it before and we have learned ways to cope.

I go to a birthing center where they have a nice hot tub and a wonderful midwife who coaches you through everything. As a last resort you could try a mild painkiller like Tylenol or Stadol just to "take the edge off." I really don't like the epidural. It carries some medical risk for mom and baby, it makes it harder to feel the pushing, it can give you a massive headache, and it makes the baby groggy when its born.

Answer 5

Your midwife should never have held back pain relief when you requested it unless it is for medical reasons, ie, danger to yourself or baby. You should have made a formal compliant about it, especially as it seems to have affected you to the point of you being scared about the pending labour. Don't worry, im sure the same won't happen again. Speak to your midwife and she will out your mind at rest. She may even speak to the hospital personally to let them know what happened before and not to let it happen again. Try to relax and take it easy in the meantime. Congratulations.

Answer 6

i know how you feel im going through the similar experience. im pregs wit 2nd and wasnt worried about labour with the first. my labour was pretty good lasted 4 hours but i teared and needed epidural to put the stitches in afterwards as it was so painful weird having epidural afterwards lol. my advice would be choose a birthing partner who will tell the midwife what you want and be your spokesperson as as you know its hard to make any sense during labour. dont let your partner take no for an answer after all this is your birth to enjoy.good luck

Answer 7

sometimes you just have to insist that you want pain meds. and midwives are trained for a more natural delivery so they tend to try to get moms to go w/o pain meds- maybe try switching to an OB instead of a midwife. or just make sure they know that you want such and such pain meds and that you don't want to go through labor w/o it. if they say ok- we will do that- great! if they say- we'll see or some other seemingly unwilling attitude you need to find a diff doc NOW! it's your pregnancy and your labor and delivery- you should get what you want! it was you who was in pain that long last time not the midwife and that shouldn't happen again. good luck sweety!

Answer 8

I would go to a different midwife or to a hospital. If you asked for the pain relief she should have gave you some and not let you go on in such pain.

Answer 9

Have you gone around the maternity ward yet? Book a visit. You should be able to speak with a midwife at your intended hospital and seek the reassurance you need! I've got mine this weekend and I've got a list of questions to ask including how they will ensure follow my birth plan

Best of luck!

Answer 10

With my first children I had no pain relief so I thought with my second I wouldnt need it but oh yes I did - I forgot how painful it was. Sorry, but i am being honest with you.