I got genital wart, nothingh serious and allready taken care of, but still on treatment. It was acquired not by sexual penetration but it was by skin to skin contact. She hasn't been infected yet (maybe never). It was just a rub body massage with a naked woman. What to tell to my wife? truth or there is some believable explanation I can give to avoid fight or divorce? I mean it is not an affair where you meet always a friend or someone else, it was just a sexual massage and I never thought it was going to have that sort of consequences. Men and women's point of view welcome.
2007-08-07 08:01:04 · 28 answers · asked by tequila_cheers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems I got confused about the infection name.....sorry about that, english is not my mothers language.
The correct name is "molluscum contagiosum".
2007-08-07 10:31:33 · update #1
ok....if you are married... you should NOT be having a 'sexual massage' that would cause you to get an std with another woman that is not your wife. i hope you get what you deserve...oh wait you did... genital warts
2007-08-07 08:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by Brittany 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well since you obviously don't love or respect your wife enough not to do something like that, maybe you could start by telling her the truth. Show her you respect her enough to tell her what actually happened, rather than lying and letting her imagine the worst. Of course this isn't about protecting her, is it? It's not about preventing her from the hurt this is likely to cause. It's about weasling out of the consequences of your actions.
If you do decide to take responsibility for your actions, try not belittling her feelings about the matter. At this point it is for her to decide whether or not this is 'minor'.
If you really want to avoid divorce you're going to have to start thinking of your wife and her feelings. Selfishness has gotten you into this mess and it'll only make it worse if you keep it up.
2007-08-07 08:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by Saphira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is difficult. Personally I would consider it cheating. Even though your warts will probably go away, you can still be a carrier. Your wife could get HPV then not aquire outward symptoms and develop cancer. Could you live with that? I think more important is why did you go outside your marriage? Is there a satisfaction problem? I would set up couples counseling after you first deal with your straying issues with a counselor of your own. This will give you the best advice on how to break the news. I would also avoid sex with your wife if you are not wearing a condom. I hope that you are sincere in working this out. She will be angry then hurt and basically go through the grieving process. If you have a good foundation it may work out. Keep in mind that you are going to have a lot of work and trust issues ahead of you. Things always get worse before they get better.
2007-08-07 08:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by trisigma337 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no such thing as a "minor affair". The best course of action is to tell your wife the truth--because it's going to come out (in the form of a genital wart on your wife). Herpes is forever---and if she's not cheating and suddenly notices, she's going to know something is going on.
Honesty truly sets you free---you don't have to live a lie anymore, and you have the opportunity to try to right your wrongs (if you are truly repentant).
You may lose your wife---but then we are all accountable for our actions, and reap what we sow. Every action has a consequence--and your actions could possibly cost you a marriage.
2007-08-07 08:08:20 · answer #4 · answered by HeIsMyAllinAll 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first off I think you should tell your wife and be a man and suffer the consequences. If you get divorced then you get divorced. You deserve it! There is no minor affair possible! An affair is an affair!
2007-08-07 08:17:51 · answer #5 · answered by me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A married man who goes for sexual massages is having an affair. You need to tell your wife and expect to be kicked out of the house. Minor affairs! You'll be lucky if she doesn't take everything.
2007-08-07 08:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by magix151 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No such things as a "minor" affair. An affair is unfaithfullness, bottom line.
This will be your first step towards reconcilation of trust and a close relationship.
If you cannot even understand what you have done is destroy trust, the basic foundation for a marraige, then how can she trust you for the future?
You definately need to re-shift your focus on reality, and perspective. Become a faithful person and make any such situations complete history.
Reunite with the one you committed to be faithful to in the first place. You have absolutely no business continueing to do what you did, and again your first step to regainig the relationship is to see what you did and understand it is the basis for the destruction of a marriage.
http://www.housefellowship.org
2007-08-07 08:11:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Nice choice of words. If you had to hide it, it wasn't minor. You betrayed her trust in you. Are you enjoying the idea of how hurt she's going to be? Does it thrill you to know she'll cry herself to sleep and spend days wondering what's wrong with her that caused you to stray? You're a great husband buddy.
Sorry, not trying to be judgmental but I stayed 100% faithful for 12 years. I had temptations and blew off every one of them. I believe you made a conscious choice and it is amusing that NOW you want to avoid the fallout of the decision.
2007-08-07 08:15:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
An affair is an affair is an affair. You did something in secret. Why? Why didn't you tell your wife - because you knew it was wrong. Thus it was an affair.
She deserves the truth. What she decides to do afterwards is up to her.
2007-08-07 08:05:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No such thing as a minor affair. That's like saying a woman is
" a little pregnant ". You messed up.
2007-08-07 08:08:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, as long as it wasn't an "affair" and was nothing serious, why don't you tell your wife the truth? If you do ANYTHING that you know you are going to lie about afterwards it is being untrue to your commitments. I'm sorry, friend. You will probably have to rely on the forgiveness of your wife. And for God's sake, don't go into denial, have sex with her, and give her the warts as well.
2007-08-07 08:07:28 · answer #11 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋