When your wife gets pregnant most of the time it goes without saying that she will be out of work (if she was working) when the baby comes. She'll be home for a least a few weeks all the way up to a few years. How does it make you feel that men don't get this luxury? They are expected to work non-stop and its never appropriate for a father to quit working while he has a family. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think this would cause you to resent your wife?
2007-08-07 06:44:37 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, because it's not easy being pregnant. It's stressful and painful for a woman ... I sure wouldn't want to go through 9 months of that lol. I don't resent my wife.
2007-08-07 06:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by me 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that I'd go so far to say that, "its never appropriate for a father to quit working while he has a family."
I think there is still a little bit of a social stigma attached to it.
However, I have a neighbor who works from home (part time) and his wife works full time our of the house. It works for them, so its cool.
I DO wish that there was more acceptance of men spending time out of work in the weeks following the birth. While federal law provides for the family medical leave act, it does NOT stop the double standard of acceptance and possible retailiation in the workplace.
In my career life, I have seen (and expirienced) the backlash to a man's professional life if he takes more than 2 weeks time off after the birth of a child.
In the business world, it is much more accepted for the woman to take an extended leave, a leave of absence, drop drown to part time, or quit working altogether.
Not so for men..... Take 2 weeks off, pass out the cigars, get the congrats pats on the back, but then get back at it, or your career advancement will likely suffer.
Its NEVER made me resent my wife. A little jealous once in awhile because she gets more time with the kids than I do. The only time I truely have an issue with it is when I come home from work, and she's stressed out because of the kids. I think to myself, "well at least you get to spend everyday with them as they grow....". I know they can be a handful, but when she uses the idea of "well I'm a mom 24/7 - I never get a break....."
Well no sh*t. You think the Dad ever gets to stop being a Dad? Just because I went away today for 8 hours to a place that isn't filled with Barney videos and crappy diapers (yet no less stressful). Then I get to come home and hear how rough the day was and get handed the baby as soon as I'm in the door - so SHE can get a break......
It doesn't happen very often, but its really the ONLY time I would say I feel resentment for her. Its more due to the fact that she is not appreciating how hard I work and the family time sacrifice I make to enable her to be a stay at home mother - then she b*tches about being a stay-at-home mother. Like I said, very infrequent, though.....
I guess the grass is ALWAYS greener sometimes in the "other" spouse's world.
2007-08-07 14:02:59 · answer #2 · answered by aa889d 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my children were born I insisted on taking several weeks off...as much as our finances would allow. I wish the USA were a more progressive country that provided paid leave for new fathers; it should. I never felt cheated that I had to return to work, per se, but there are many times I'm sad I have to be here in the office instead of interacting with my children.
That being said, my wife being home is a luxury--for the children, not for her. Being a SAHM is not a job I envy--it is the hardest job I can think of. She works 24/7/365 with very few breaks, especially in the first 6 months when the baby's only source of nutrition is breastmilk. We were very blessed that she was able to stay home to raise them, but I don't think for a minute that she's on the couch eating bon-bons and watching soaps all day.
2007-08-07 14:17:49 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Luxury? You have got to be kidding me. I would rather work 2 jobs full time than be at home with a crying baby, changing diapers all the time, with my whole body aching from just squeezing a watermelon out from between my legs.
You act like it's a vacation to give birth. I pity your wife!
Oh and for the record, my husband quit working in 1992 to be a house husband and nothing I do will convince him to go back to work, so he's been having quite a "vacation" courtesy of my hard work.
2007-08-07 13:52:38 · answer #4 · answered by ddd 874 587 545 543 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me. I am a stay at home mother of 3 ages 7, 5, and 1 1/2. Obviously, you have never stayed at home to care for children of any age. It isn't a luxury to be able to stay home, it is alot of work. I have to take care of all 3 of my kids, while cooking, cleaning and doing all of our laundry. Plus when my husband comes home from work having to pick up after his butt. Nobody expects men to work non-stop. There is such thing as Paternity Leave. Most families cannot afford for noone to work. Oh and by the way. I supported myself and two of my children while my exhusband sat at home on his butt.
2007-08-07 13:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not married yet, but I don't think that staying home and raising kids and not working is a "luxury." Raising kids is a ton of work and maybe the most important job one can have.
2007-08-07 13:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by B Mils 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. I don't have the ability to breast feed.
Someone has to take care of the fam. Through out history, it's the guy that does this. even in the animal kingdom (we are animals remember) the mom stays with the kids, while dad goes out and gets the food. Us guys are there to take care of the wife and kid.
Taking care of kids is hard work.
2007-08-07 13:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by Sean C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that most men think this way. My wife is a stay at home mom, her choice, and I dont resent her. In fact, I am glad that she has the ability to teach our kids things while they are home with her.
2007-08-07 13:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not a luxury to stay home and watch the kids and manage the house, clean, cook etc.
I do not feel cheated I feel like I owe my wife a huge debt of gratitude.
2007-08-07 14:06:35 · answer #9 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife had our first child 4 months ago. Personally, I am happy to take the responsibility of supporting my family. I am also happy that she is able to stay home and care for our daughter.
2007-08-07 13:59:34 · answer #10 · answered by j c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋