I am happily married, have been for almost 4 years but I have this undying attraction to my husband's coworker who is also a good friend ofours. he comes over for dinners or to hang out and I am sooo attracted to him. This is the first time this has ever happened...I have never been attracted to any other man every since I have been married until now...what do I do? and how does this attraction go away?!
2007-08-07 06:23:37 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being attracted to someone is natural and not something to be ashamed of. Not doing anything to take yourself out of temptation's way, though, is a dangerous path.
Were it me, I would have to cut off contact with that person. If your husband asks why, tell him. Trust me, he'd rather know you're attracted to the friend and are taking steps to remove yourself from the situation, than to find out the hard way that you were attracted, *didn't* take steps, and ended up doing something you can't take back.
Actually, I have to edit that statement. If the attraction is something you can *control* and view objectively, and not let it control you, then something so extreme as cutting off contact may not be necessary. I have several friends to whom I could instantly be attracted to and have relationships with. *if i wanted to*. There is no denying the attraction on my part. But I have enough willpower to keep total control of the situation, and by doing so the physical urges of attraction fade over time. I am perfectly happy maintaining friendships and nothing more. But if you can't be 100% in control of yourself, don't even think about taking this option.
2007-08-07 07:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by Ryan H 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to stop having him come over for dinner and stop hanging out so much and tell your husband why. Tell him there is an attraction and you don't want anything to come of it. Make your husband know and understand that it a great thing you don't want him around as much. And if you do want this guy around you might act on it. Think about it. Make the right choice and don't hurt anyone.
P. S an attraction will always be around even if your happy married. Love is once in a life time.
2007-08-07 06:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by gia00601 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
*Well if you want to continue being married, I suggest that you stick with your husband.
.Also put the shoe on the other foot and think how you would feel if it was the other way around and some other woman found your husband just as attractive as you find that guy.
**(I don't think you should go for it though.)**
.Hmm...
*In any case, I'm not bashing you and I'm not trying to say you're a bad person and/or that you're going to go to the next level with your husband's co-worker. So don't take it wrong.
The way I see it is that...you're human, I don't believe that we should only like ONE person, or that it's even possible for that matter.
*You..like EVERYONE else in this world see's more than just ONE person as eye candy, whether you're married or not....so don't feel guilty or anything. It's just human nature.
.So anyways I mean you will do whatever you want to, but just remember that if you make a bad choice in the heat of the moment it's going to come back and bite you in the a**.
...It's your decision, just choose wisely.
.
2007-08-07 06:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by Murphy's Law 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Everyone has attractive qualities. The question is whether you're more attracted to more qualities in the co-worker or your husband. For me, lots of other people are attractive, but not more so than my significant other. Affairs/cheating isn't worth it.
2007-08-07 06:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by B Mils 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't put yourself in temptation's path. Stay away. Remind yourself WHY you married your husband. Look through those wedding albums again and again if need be.
CHOOSE to be faithful.
2007-08-07 06:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Concentrate on meeting your husband's wants and needs and try to avoid being around when the co-worker is... If you are serious about not breaking your vows then you need to find away to not be around the guy...
2007-08-07 06:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by mrskerlin 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The attraction won't go away if you don't do anything about it. You should just isolate yourself from him. What you need to do is confront the situation and move on from it. Find out what it is that attracts you to him and work from there.
2007-08-07 06:28:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone.
It's what you do about it that matters.
You should never let him know how you feel and if you can't do that you should make excuses to have not be in his company as often....and never ever alone.
You're a grown-up and you control what you do.....remember that.
2007-08-07 06:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like you are getting bored. You been a good girl all your married life so why not discreetly explore the wild side, what hubby don't know can't hurt him right and you may learn a few things about you.
2007-08-07 06:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
do u want your marriage to last? what if this was your husband asking a simular question that he had an attraction for one of his wifes friends? apparently you are not happily married what if this man and your husband notices that you are googeling over this friend wake up it will only cause you your husband and this guy great problems do you really want that?
2007-08-07 06:32:11 · answer #10 · answered by 1happyfrog 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋