I have three sons and they are workaholics. Their wives also work outside the home. My problem is that my sons don't shop. My daughter in-laws like me but do not shop for their husbands except for food and clothing. Needless to say there is no correspondence of any kind for me. This is a new age and the sons should pay attention to this but they feel they are still the bread winners and just work and do for the family. I am sad at times that the girls don't pick up a card for him to sign. Living out of state makes it a problem.
2007-08-07 06:10:33 · 9 answers · asked by plyjanney 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is not upto your daughter in laws to solve your relationship with your sons. You need to talk to the sons. And FYI, we men dont typically buy cards. Unless we are sweet girly men.
You said the women work outside the home. So the sons have as much time as they do. Sorry, this is the way life has become in 2007.
2007-08-07 06:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are directing your concerns toward the wrong parties. Just because your sons are workaholics doesn't mean your sons don't have time to pop you a quick email, internet greeting card, or even a quick phone call when they are going to or on their way home from work. Your son's owe this to you.
For example my husbands parents are divorced and both live out of two separate states. I'm very close to my family so I can't imagine not having a relationship with them at all. I constantly ask my husband did you call your mom, have you spoken to your grandparents, what about your dad. I can't force him to maintain a relationship with them. They have a ok relationship but all his siblings and parents are out of different states and he says he never has felt a desire to feel the need to reach out to them.
He had a great childhood but that's just the way they are. I don't see anyone in his family making much an effort to reach out to one another and my husband says thats just the way they all are. Some families are close and some well are ok with just the holiday calls or visits.
I find myself being the one to send the emails with family pics and when i tell my husband he's just like " eh ". I'm sure they would rather hear from their own son or brother but at the same time where is there effort? My hubby and I are from different cultures & backgrounds. My family is very close I mean we don't miss anything from each others lives. I thought it was a culture thing and perhaps it is or isn't I don't know. What I do know is that we have children of our own and I would not expect the communication to be coming from mostly their spouse rather than the children we raised. The responsibility is your children's. It's very easy to direct anger, resentment or harbor any other ill feelings towards another party simply because we don't want to open our eyes to the truth. The truth is your sons should make a better effort to communicate with the mother that raised and loved them.
2007-08-07 13:32:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously have a computer. Do your sons have one at work or at home? Have you ever heard of e-mail? Get your sons addresses and send them an e-mail that says you don't expect long wordy correspondence just a quick "Hi Mom" once in a while. See if they use any of the instant messengers. My son and I use these wonders of modern technology to keep in touch. Sometimes I send him an off-line instant message that says "Your Momma loves you all" and I don't necessarily expect an immediate answer. I send them to my daughter-in-law too. I receive them from both. We are all busy and there is no need to put a head trip on anyone because of it.
2007-08-07 13:24:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Correspondence is a two-way street. Busy professionals use the internet to communicate more than any other means. Try sending e-mails or even sending your sons e-cards and see if they take the hint.
2007-08-07 13:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by Truth is elusive 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What?!?! You sound like the kind of mother in law I fear having some day ... a nosy, complaining, meddling old grouch. If you want to talk to your sons, do it ... and don't pick apart their married life in any way, because that is a sure way to make them NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
2007-08-07 13:20:16 · answer #5 · answered by Random_Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you have your husbands wifes to blame for their short comings. If they dont buy you a card, who is gonna buy their wifes a card? Should you?
2007-08-07 13:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by New Nana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but leave them alone! It's thier problem and thier issuses. If they are old enought to get married they are old enought to figure it out
2007-08-07 13:19:41 · answer #7 · answered by Lil lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, WHAT ARE YOU ASKING? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? You're not clear so no one's going to answer something that's not asked.
2007-08-07 13:14:33 · answer #8 · answered by lenise1973 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This doesn't make any sense.
2007-08-07 13:12:57 · answer #9 · answered by Chrissy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋