My brother was caught cheating on his wife. She had proof that he has been cheating, and he refuses to admit it. She threw him out of the house. I am very close to her, and I understand that she has to do this. How can I help them sort this out so they can at least be good parents to their two children even if they are not married? I offered her to move in with me, I have a spare room. Is this going against my brother? I am thinking about my nice and nephew.
2007-08-07 04:57:19 · 17 answers · asked by ACE Tx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry- I am female. My sister in law and I were friends for many years before they even got married. The only reason why I offered for her to move in with me, is because she cannot afford the house she is in now. The lease is in my name, and she will have to put the kids in daycare in order to be able to work.
2007-08-07 05:12:30 · update #1
Your niece and nephew should be your primary and only concern. Let the two of them work out their marital problems together without your involvement. The last thing you want is to have your loyalty divided, and that is where you are headed. Let both of them know that you love them and that you are there if they need you, and make yourself available to the children.
2007-08-07 05:01:01 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you are being very supportive and that's great, but probably where it should end. If she through him out of the house, then she shouldn't need to stay with you. The best you can do is be there for them. If you see that either your brother or sister-in-law start using the kids to fight their battle, just talk to them about it.
2007-08-07 05:03:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going against your brother but you can't fix this for them. Take him in while she stays where the kids are familiar and encourage them to go into counseling if they can both agree on it. Even if they don't stay together they might be taught how to play nice with each other for the kids' sake.
2007-08-07 05:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by indydst8 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Family Counseling Time
2007-08-07 04:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by jessicas127 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not going against your brother. Your SIL didn't do anything wrong. She did what any self respecting person would have done in her situation. Don't turn your back on your brother (after all he is your brother) and try to council him on how to get past this, but if he thinks you are in the wrong for supporting her and his children than he is living in a dream world. He messed up and has to face facts that its no ones fault but his.
2007-08-07 05:02:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You offered her a room? she threw him out which yes i agree. Maybe you need to do little tuff love grab him by the back of the head and say-quit telling yourself a lie and deal with it. Dont get to cozy or try to pull up on her,which is what sounds like might be in your head--hope not
2007-08-07 05:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by keithleyjustin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it kind of is. Your brother is going to be very hurt if you move them in. But, on the flip side they are family too. Have you talked with them about going and getting marriage counseling? Even if they get counseling for themselves they would be better people for it.
2007-08-07 05:00:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern, however they need to work it out between themselves. If she ask you for help, help her but for her to move it with the kids might confuse the children, as well as upset your brother.
Good Luck.
2007-08-07 05:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by SHOOTER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its unfair but ya it is going against your brother. I have LOTS of experiance in this area. Stay out of it, it will take them much longer to straighten it out if they keep involving other people. Be sympathetic and caring but DO NOT take an active role in their problems. You'll regret it later.
2007-08-07 05:02:30 · answer #9 · answered by fullofideas4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help them sort this out. They need to sort this out for themselves. It sounds like you are already too involved. This is between the 2 of them not the 3 of you. Try to remember that.
2007-08-07 05:00:06 · answer #10 · answered by LB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋