What is the correct grammar for using the possessive with me + one other? i.e. The pen belonging to Tom and me

Question

But obviously the apostrophised version!

But obviously the apostrophised version!

Perhaps I didn't make it clear - the question isn't about I / me. It is about the possessive! But I think it's been answered now so thanks!

Answer 1

What the second person said. The key is that each of the 'owners' should be able to stand on their own and still make the right sentence i.e.

My pen
Tom's pen

Thus:

my and Tom's pen
or
Tom's and my pen

This is why the first answer on here is wrong:
'the pen belonging to Tom and I' sounds right because we sort of learn that 'I' is posher and more correct than 'me'. However you would never say, 'the pen belonging to I', and so the correct version is in fact 'the pen belonging to Tom and me'. Alternatively, by the same logic, it would always be 'Tom and I own the pen'.....

Hope that helps!! Hx

Answer 2

You mean along the lines of 'That is Tom's and my pen.? Use of 'I' in the answers above is incorrect (so someone's not as good at English as they might have thought). The acid test is whether you can remove the reference to 'Tom' and still be grammatically correct. 'The pen belonging to I' is incorrect, therefore so is 'The pen belonging to Tom and I.'

Answer 3

"My and Tom's pen" or "Tom's and my pen" (more polite) are both fine grammatically, as "pen" is singular, so there's no ambiguity. (The way you wrote it in your question is also fine.)

If it was "pens", then "the pens belonging to Tom and me" would be better, assuming you both owned all the pens, and not some of the pens each.

Answer 4

It is certainly "belonging to Tom and me" rather than "Tom and I" for the very simple reason that if the pen were yours and yours alone (and the absence of apostrophes there is correct!), then it would be "belonging to me" and definitely not "belonging to I".

Answer 5

Here's a tip for knowing when your sentence should be Tom and I or Tom and me. When you take the other person out of the sentence, it must still make sense.

'Tom and I are watching TV'
Without Tom - 'I am watching TV'.
If you use 'me' and not 'I' the setence doesn't make sense - 'Me are watching TV'.

I know it's not strictly answering your question but it's simple to remember and very useful.

Answer 6

"The pen belonging to Tom and me" (not I).
the way to tell is take away the word Tom and you'll see that
"The pen belonging to I" makes no sense but "The pen belonging to me" does.

"Tom and I went to the pub" is correct...same process, take away Tom and you'll see that "I went to the pub" makes sense but "Me went to the pub" doesn't so "Tom and me went to the pub" is wrong too.

I hope you can understand this rather awkward answer.

Sophie.......You obviously weren't THAT good.
Crispy bacon and egg...you are so wrong!

Answer 7

Only if there are a number of characters and/or pens described in one paragraph should the construction be necessary. It would be "Tom's and my pen". Best avoided by explicitly mentioning the joint ownership and then, only if necessary, referring to "our pen". Otherwise "a pen" or "the pen".

Answer 8

The English language doesn't stretch that far.
Tom's friends
My friends
Our friends
but the friends of Tom and me.
Tom's and my friends would be correct if there were two different groups of people, but not to describe the ones you have in common.

Answer 9

The pen belonging to Tom and I.
"Me" is now incorrectly used too often!

Can't you afford your own pens?

Answer 10

The pen belonging to Tom and I.