Should I trust him now?

Question

A few months ago I found out that my husband was not only chatting online wiht a girl but was talking to her on the phone also. He was away at school for two months and one of the weekends he said he was going to come home to see me he told me he was swamped with work to get done and could not make it home. I saw on the cell phone bill later that he spent the whole weekend hour after hour talking this girl. from around 11 pm up until 5 am. How could he have gotten any of his so called SWAMPED WORK down? When confronted he said he did not know why he did it and he doesnt even know what they talked about. He talked to her for two weeks and can not rememebr what they talked about? Do I trust him when he says he hasn't called her since? He has a government cell phone now that I can not see calls on! I do not even know the # to it! I found a notebook with her phone number written in it yesterday. He obviously liked something about her to keep it Should I contact her for the truth

He spoke to this girl for a total of 500 minutes through out the last two weeks he was at school and the last call was made the day before he came home. The cell phone is in MY name so if she had caller ID it would have came up in MY name. I asked him and he said he told her the truth. I do not believe that! I found her screen name on his computer and added her to my friends list to see if she would talk to me.

P.S. I traced the phone number through White pages and it is a land line number not a cell phone and it was in Colorado. He was in SC at the time so I do not believe he ever met her. He has not had the chance in between then and now because after school we were transferred to St. Louis.

Answer 1

Truth be told I wouldn't trust him; men don't just 'talk' to a girl on the phone for hours on end just for the fun of it; most men don't even like talking on the phone to begin with! And like you said: what on earth could they be talking about for so long? (Unless it was something along the lines of phone sex...)

If he hasn't called her, why does he keep her number and have her as his 'screen buddy'? If he was really interested in cutting her off, he would do so. When a man isn't interested in a woman you pretty much know it-and deep down from what you're saying, you know there's something about her that he likes.

Ask him to cut off all communication COMPLETELY. If he doesn't abide by your wishes, then it may be time for some counseling or sterner measures. Good luck, I wish you the best.

Answer 2

Talk to you about what? Men who do this online don't tell the other woman that they are married, you need to know that. Don't blame her for your husbands behavior. It sounds like he is under pressure probably from work and he is trying to avoid it. This is what they do.

If you want to save your marriage, you need marriage counseling right now, don't put it off. You're concerning yourself more with what they talked about instead of why he would talk to someone else other than you. How supportive have you been with your husband? Are you holding up your end of the marriage, or do you have some notion that as long as the chores are evened out and you work full time, that your relationship is in order? That's not what makes a good marriage. Your husband is telling you something, take a few moments for the man who you promised to love and cherish for all eternity and pay attention to what he is trying to tell you. Stop talking and listen. Get a counselor if you can't do that, or get a lawyer because that's where you are headed.

Answer 3

I would call the stupid broad. If you think she might not answer because knows it's you, then call her from a different phone or, dial *67 and then her number. *67 Makes any number come up a private number. I would also check his voice mails. If you don't know his password, it's pretty easy to get.Get his phone when he is not around, like when he is sleeping. Go to his call log where all the incoming and outgoing calls are... One of your options will say "notebook". Go into the notebook and the password will be there. The phone automatically stores the last number dialed there. You may not get it on the 1st try, but trust me, it will be there. You can check his voicemail from your phone too. When his voicemessage comes on, press pound and it will ask for the pass word.

Answer 4

What the hell. Try talking to her through messenger. Introduce yourself as his wife, and see what she says from there. Don't jump right into a discussion in which you reveal how you feel, instead try to get her to take the lead. Obviously he has a thing for her, a thing he shouldn't have for her, so I think that talking to her is fair game because he did things he shouldn't have.
Maybe you will get the truth out of her. Maybe he's told her that you are a complete pain in the butt, and so she will not respond back to you. But it won't hurt to try. He crossed the line, so how can he get angry if you do too. All is fair in love and war, lol
And No, you shouldn't trust him. He can't remember what was said during those conversations? Oh, you bet he can remember. He never came clean with you...that's the real problem, aside from his obvious lust.

Answer 5

Trying to get the truth out of her may be a dead end. It's your husband you need to talk to. And ifhe's claiming he doesn't know why, or doesn't remember, I'm sorry but he's lying. Last March, my husband and I began having terrible problems. The fighting got awful, the communication stopped completely, and he just started acting like a jerk all the time. In May, I read a suspiscious text message he had gotten. Then I went through the cell bill and learned in March he began talking to a girl from one of the cities he travels to when working. He tried his best to lighten the issue by saying they just talked and she was helping him with some issues. I laughed, because our issues got worse when he started talking to her. To this day, I do not know the truth...

Make your chocie wisely. I still do not trust my husband. I still feel betrayed, and I feel sometimes as if my life is slipping out of control.

Answer 6

Talk to her and find out her side of the story. Once you've done that, log on to his email or messenger and let her tell "you" what's going on. The truth always comes out. I'm also going to assume that you guys are in the military. If that's the case, i would be very wary about what he does. If he gets deployed, there won't be no phone calls from other women. He'll get what he can get and you won't even know it unless the gossip gets to you.

Answer 7

I went through this same situation. My boyfriend of 3 years talked to a girl online and by telephone for over a year, and he "can't remember" what they talked about either. It's not that he can't remember, honey, it's that he can't tell you. This relationship is going to need serious work to overcome this. Don't let him tell you that this was "nothing" and that it's not considered cheating. Because it is. He has hurt you badly and he needs to be an open book for you from now on in order for you to ever even think of trusting him again. I'm sorry this happened to you, I know how it hurts.

Answer 8

no and its no point of calling her cuz she is only gonna piss u off cuz yes he did tell her that he was married but like so many H's she dont care! and thats what drives him she is willing to settle for less and what ever he is giving her. he knows what they talked about. i bet if u strapped his @ss to a bomb while u held the detonator he would remember everything! hes lieing yes he is still talking to her. ur on to something good toss his @ss to the trash becuz she hasn't stopped calling and he hasn't stopped answering i assure u there on that other phone. Hes a liar and she's a whore and they go hand in hand Liar,Whore! start gathering ur evidence so when u get ready to divorce him u can get some of that gov pay! and let her deal with his cheating self!

Answer 9

Hey girl,

Your the only one here that really knows how much he loves you. If you sincerely think that hes stopped calling her and has this little thing out of his system well then trust him. It sounds like you dont feel this way though. I think almost everyone on here is going to tell you to dump him. I dont mean to hurt your feelings but it sounds like hes still dating you but constantly looking for something better. And if thats the case well, lifes to short to be second best in a relationship. I hope this helps!

Answer 10

You can try drawing her out to find out what is truly going on, but if they are having some kind of a relationship behind your back, she may not tell you a darn thing and will cover it up to protect him and what they have. You need to figure out what is truly happening, and if this is something serious then let them have each other, you deserve better then this, and I hope you have enough self respect not to put yourself in a situation where you are cheated and lied to and treated like this. It's a horrible feeling.