I've unfortunatly (for her) come to the realization that I no longer love my wife. I used to smoke pot almost everyday, which put me in a haze on how she treated me. Now that I am sober, I no longer wish to be her slave. She doesn't love me, she loves the situation. We have not been intimate in almost a year. We have the same agurments over and over just with different themes. He point of view is right, and mine are either always wrong or ridiculed. She is currently gone on vacation with her family for 2 weeks, and I have been left alone. Should I pack my stuff or wait. If I leave should I write her a letter or talk to her. The talking aspect is a tough bit due to us temporarly living at her parents house. So this makes talking in private a no go.
2007-08-07 03:32:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are always two sides to every situation so I am sure you are not faultless. The years when you were smoking pot and in a 'haze' probably weren't the best for her. Maybe that has made her bitter.
However, I am the first person to say, life is too short to remain in an unhappy relationship unless there is the possibility of reconciliation and working out the problems. If the love is gone and there is no chance of getting it back it is time to go. You would only be hurting her also by staying in a loveless marriage and she needs to be happy too.
Keep in mind that at one time you loved this woman enough to marry her so she deserves the respect of being told face to face. Don't be a coward and sneak out.
2007-08-07 04:05:53 · answer #1 · answered by Trish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, however you need to look at her point of view at least for a minute. If you smoked pot everyday, what was life like for her? Did she HAVE to behave that way towards you in order to get anything out of you, I have lived with that and it is not fun!!!! Is she just having to adjust too, now that you have sobered up? Maybe the two of you could benefit from some counseling, do you still love her? Or did she just put up with all of your bad years so that you can leave her now that you are sober?
I may be going off on my own tangent a bit, because of the situation I have had to go through. If so I am sorry, but think about the whole picture, at least for a minute, to decide if perhaps you need to have a little sympathy for what she went through with you. And if perhaps saving a marriage with a woman who would stick by you through that phase of your life would be worth it......
2007-08-07 03:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by Bite me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont feel alone in your situation, I myself am going thru a awful time with my marriage, with a few differences, but when theres marriage problems its all the same, its a very hard time and I dont wish this upon anyone. One thing you did,nt mention is if there are any children involved? If you do have kids with her Id say to stick it out till the children are grown and gone, cause its better for a child to have their family together then not, now if theres no kids, get out! but have the respect and dignity to talk to her about this. I can also tell ya that living with her parents is a major no-no, nothing kills a marriage fast than mom and dad, so I wish ya luck, and dont forget to talk to her let her know what went wrong so history does,nt repeat itself, marriage is not something to take lightly this is a life long commitment and to many people get married for the wrong reasons, I mean jeez, I know a girl who wanted to get married for the ring and wedding reception, of course their divorced now. Good Luck!
2007-08-07 03:51:10 · answer #3 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it's going to turn into a nasty fight with her parents there then I would leave before she comes back. Either write a letter or call and it would be for the best if you were not ugly about it. Just say you can't handle the fighting anymore and you wish her a happy life
2007-08-07 03:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave and write her a letter. At least you will be doing what you need to do for yourself. When you are strong enough you will then have to face her and talk. File for divorce if that is what you want but, don't leave things hanging. It sounds like she liked taking care of you and now that you got sober she isn't sure how to deal and neither are you. You have changed and she hasn't.
2007-08-07 03:37:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find your own place and move out. I would hire a lawyer asap to cover your interest's. If your living with her parents and try to have that type of talk you are putting yourself into a bad situation.
2007-08-07 03:42:52 · answer #6 · answered by the_wayward1 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally I would be gone with no forwarding address before they returned. She would be served with divorce papers as I would file while they were gone as well. You already know what it is that you want. Now all that you have to do is go out and find it. Good luck.
2007-08-07 03:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Write a letter? You a coward or something? Your problems run deeper than you've let on.
2007-08-07 04:59:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack your stuff and leave her a note to call you. When she calls, you can let her know that you won't be coming back.
2007-08-07 03:36:36 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have already made your mind up, sounds like she doesn't respect you so pack your bags and move on.
2007-08-07 03:36:31 · answer #10 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋