what should i expect out of my ex now?

Question

I'm trying to gear up for divorce. my ex was one that would run away from the marriage instead of facing problems. she did this on multiple occassions for me to chase her. Last time she left, i sent her an email and she said too many things have happened and that it's over but she wanted basically everything in the house. i protected myself and changed the locks until we could agree on things. i moved most of her things in the garage for her to pick up. when she moved she ripped up wedding pictures, and cut my head off of the family photo. she's mad. why? who knows. she was one that needed her ego fed constantly. i finally quit chasing her after she kept leaving after the slightest marital spat. now in the divorce she's angry. why? i don't know. we had no children together and this is what she wanted. i haven't heard from her in 3 months accept for nasty divorce stuff. in you all's experience what should i expect next? she's having a great time not working and being free this summer.

a lot of people say hold on to your hat because after she has her fun and has to go back to work in the fall and all her supporters are sick of her living with them, doing things for her, she's going through the anger stage now, then the realization stage that she is getting a divorce, and then the she wants to come back stage. think this is true? she could never leave me alone before. i imagine there's another guy in the picture but the way her anger is, that will blow up and she'll be back. what do you think will happen with an ex like this? i just want to try and prepare for battle.

Answer 1

Hi Survivor...
I just did reply to one of your other posts, about your situation. " I still believe that you have to be very careful what you do & say" Make sure you have your Attorney present every time you talk to her... she looks like she is filled with nothing but Hate & Anger right now and would do anything to back stab you in one or more different ways you wouldn't ever imagine.

Mental sick people are not allways living in the reality world and sometimes do dangerous things... So all I can tell you is "Be careful" .....It's better to be more careful than easyful... Prepare for the worst... but hope for the Best.
I hope you have a good Lawyer who will fight for you and stand behind you.

I think it's a Blessing that you don't have any kids together... so I would say, ones it is all over with the Divorce etc. go and move away.... further away maybe into a different State or so... and don't tell your ex-wife where to.
Then ones you're settled... take a Vacation... and pamper yourself... and start a new life for yourself... After all this Drama tell yourself that you deserve this Vacation... so you can recoup and get your Life back togehter!

Believe in yourself and remember your friends here on "Y A" believe in you... and we are supporting you!
Survivor.... you will get through this... and you are a Survivor!
Best of Luck to you again.... from my heart.
STAY STRONG, THINK POSITIVE & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF : )

Answer 2

Yep someone has done their home work these are the stages, what next...get a lawyer and get the show on the road, and hang on I too am going through a divorce it's been in the court system for two years now, we were married for 30 years, I never expected him to do and act the way he is now, he will not let me go, it's a power trip for him. I do wish you the best, if I can help,..... better get something out of the money I'm spending here,... email me ok see if I can answer some questions here.

Answer 3

oh yea she is a women scorned! and hell has no fury like a women scorned! u seem like a pretty good guy just prepare for the worst and dont let her come bac. when she tries that hole crying thing u stand strong and dont fall for it . yea there may be another guy in the situation but hell let him deal with that now .sometimes in life we make mistakes and we learn from them and ur life lesson is learn to leave well enough alone! Dont feed into her when she come at u and i know its gonna be hard to do but dont get serious with any one else becuz she would really ruin that for u. misery loves company and when she comes off her high she is gonna want u to be as unhappy as her .she is still going threw a very childish stage in her time right now but dont crack under pressure. becuz when she sees the light and realize what she has done she will come back, thank god u dont have children. so u have a good head start in this situation . the best thing u can do is not to pay her any attention and if u see her coming go the opposite way and she might be the type to maybe even say u physically abused her so watch out.

Answer 4

Sounds to me like she likes to play games with your head and this is just another one. She will probably regret everything when all is said and done and she has time to reflect on how she handled the whole relationship. That may take awhile though. I won't happen until she matures, which she obviously hasn't yet.

I do think it's a possibility that she will realize that you aren't going to give in and then she will want you back. Who knows.

Right now she is doing whatever she can to get under your skin. Its all apart of the game. If she has no affect on you then thats your best solution. Which is sad for her. She wants you to hurt the way she is hurting.
Good luck!

Answer 5

You need to get your Attorney any and all information you can in order to assist in your case, and most importantly you need to get every last details settled in the divorce agreement. You obviously have no kids, which is a very good thing, and she has a job, which is the better thing. You will not need to pay child support and your alimony might be minimal or non existent. Make sure you get a good lawyer, and once matters are settled by law, hopefully you both can move on.

Answer 6

Divorce is very hard. From your description she does sound immature. I found that even though I was the one that initiated the divorce, paid for the divorce, etc. .. I still went through all of the process of grieving him and grieving the loss of my hopes and dreams. I would suggest that you focus on your own recovery and grieve through this process and let her be whatever kind of nut she chooses to be. Everyone goes through it a little differently. My ex and I were good friends for 2 yrs after the divorce. .. Now he's in a new relationship and for some reason is painting me as the devil ex-wife... go figure... though it does hurt my feelings.. it's his life.

Answer 7

Even if she does want to come back why would you want her after she has put you through all of that just for a little bit of fun? She sounds immature and selfish and is not ready for the work that is involved in maintaining a marriage.

Answer 8

Everyone's different and has different reactions to different situations. In my experience (I work in a job that deals with divorce quite a bit), it always gets ugly. People whom you have loved for a long time are suddenly capable of the unimaginable. Get yourself a good attorney and stay strong.

Answer 9

I personally think that from what you have written that you know pretty well what to expect from her. BUT... If you feel that divorce is eminent, then be the first to file on abandonment issues. Her anger is stemming from her reasoning for divorce. In her mind, she is trying to rectify the reasoning behind it and feels that anger is a necessary component.

Answer 10

You got the act right. She'll be back in the future. make sure you don't ever leave anything unlocked. best? Move and don't leave a forewarding addy after you get the official divorce.