How do i stop being friends with a needy and annoying person?

Question

This girl has called me every single day of my summer at least three or four times and left a message each time. I never responded back to any of her calls. She emails me all the time and ims me but i delete the emails or get off of im. She doesn't know how to take really big hints i guess but what I am worried about is school which is this Thursday b/c i know she will find me and bug me some more. How do i get rid of her? I told her before the summer started that i didn't want to answer the phone b/c i didn't want to talk to her but she didn't even get mad.

Hey sgcrozier
if you had email i would contact you personally but i would just like to say you dont know her so you can't say im the bad one. This girl is controlling. She plans out my life and tells me who i should hang out with and who i shouldn't. She often insults me and implies that everything is my fault when it was clear as day that it was hers and i start to believe her. She has done a lot of damage to me. Many days i come to school crying, i get severe headaches around here from all the stress, and she has lowered my self esteem so i would appreciate it if you didn't insult me in that way. Oh BTW she does have other "friends" and she annoys them too but i dont know if it's the same as with me or more or less.

Answer 1

You need to change your number and move.

Answer 2

"Karen, I understand you seem to want a friendship with me but I fell this is not working out and I am uncomfortable with all your calls and emails. I know it will upset you but I need you to stop contacting me. You are a nice person and I'm sure you can find lots of other friends. But please respect my choices and stop calling."

It will cause hurt feelings, but if you put it politely and courteously with a compliment about her and say it in front of people, then you won't be seen as a villain. You will have witnesses that you were as nice as you could be and respectful. But there is no other way to get rid of someone like that who can't see the hints. Trust me, I know.

BTW - what you are describing is called stalking and can possibly get more serious. Talk to the counselor at school or another adult you trust. I'm not kidding. This girl is clearly out of hand and needs help.

Answer 3

Try to spell it out for her again. Make it clear, in a nice way, that you don't feel like you can be friends anymore. There's no need to be nasty but you need to be very firm about it, leave no room for her to interpret otherwise. Ask that she not contact at all anymore.

Assuming from your response that you're in high school - if she continues than I think you should tell your parents and either have them talk to her parents or to the school.

It sounds like she has some big issues, and that isn't your problem, but you do need to be able to answer your phone or check your messages without fear of harrassment. Scarily enough my friend is currently going through this as well. When this supposed 'friend' she was trying to get to leave her alone attempted to contact her through me and another mutual friend, our negative responses are what finally stopped him from emailing every day and calling at all hours. You might just need someone else to tell her to stop what she's doing... but again, in a nice way please, she's clearly fragile.

Answer 4

Well maybe she doesn't have any other friends and thats why she is bugging you. You might find that she is really a nice person, but you have to tell her in a nice way that if she wants the friendship to work then she's going to have to give you some space. Tell her in a nice way how you feel about her but tell her that you will give her a chance, but she has to let you breath. My friend did that to me so I talked to the school shrink and she told me to tell my friend to give me some space and I did and now that girl is one of my best friends. You can't just keep avoiding her though. You have to tell her how you feel because obviously she cant take hints and wont get it unless you tell her. Hope this helps ☺

Answer 5

You were probably nice to her once, and since she has no social skills, took that as meaning you wanted to be friends. Just keep in mind that there may be circumstances beyond her control as to why she is like this. She may be reaching out because she knows no where else to turn. The only way to get rid of her is to be really really mean. But do you really want to do that? Maybe you could take her under your wing and teach her how to act around people? Obviously her upbringing has failed her... Be the one that makes a difference, not one of the many people she will be bringing up in therapy years down the road... if she hasn't hung herself by then.

Answer 6

My son had this problem last year with some kid. Time for some "Tough Love". Have the phone company block their number because of harassment (you have told them that you don't want to talk on the phone and they keep calling) . Confront them and tell them that you don't want to talk to them because they are too clingy and don't give you enough space. You can't really beat around the bush with people like this, although it can be difficult to be so direct, you need to do it.

Good luck!

Answer 7

May I ask why you don't like her? From the sounds of it she is lonely, looks up and admires you. She want's a friendship so I cannot from your question see why you do not, has she done something?

I don't mean to sound rude here and please know I am only going off what I am reading but it sounds as though she needs rid of you not visa versa. She is trying to be your friend and your playing disapeearing friend. Why does she even think you two are friends. Don't string her along be BLUNT and HONEST to her.
Say listen mate I don't like you I am sorry but please leave me alone. Then she can go on in life and meet friends who will actually be friends to her instead of a fake friend like you.

Answer 8

Your first mistake was giving your e-mail address to her. Can you block her? She is stalking you. Next time, tell her that, then tell her you are reporting her. If that doesn't work, I'm sure there has got to be a way to keep her from annoying you. You can also report her to the school office.

Answer 9

wow ... your doing all I was gonna suggest ... I guess you can send her an email or you can im her and tell her that you just don't feel this frienship is working out and that you'd like for her to stop bothering you ... or just trying being really mean ... you'll probably hurt her feelings but she may get the hint.

Answer 10

Like a small child with a knife.. Don't scream at them - you might startle them and do damage. Get a safer thing (like a favorite toy) and just OFFER it. They'll often trade you. ;-)

Since you've already told her, you could also ask your folks, maybe they'd be willing to talk to her parents.

Answer 11

whoa!ounds exactly like this girld=s who kept calling my friend. Till one day my friend told her what why she didnt return phone calls or im or emails. Just tell the girl the truth. She'd probaly under stand. good luck!
:D