Isaid, I don't have a problem leaving a marriage with what I came in their with. Do you think by him asking this, he may be considering marrying me?Or do you think it was just a general question?
2007-08-07 02:34:26 · 36 answers · asked by Ari's Mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do basically all the answerers think that HE is the one who has all the money?Do you not think a woman can make more?
2007-08-07 03:14:23 · update #1
BTW- we've been together 2 years.
2007-08-07 03:14:45 · update #2
maybe a prenuptial with guidelines, like if he wants a divorce because the wife is cheating then she gets nothing, but if he wants out of the marriage for no reason then the wife gets _______?_________ or if he cheats during the marriage, the wife gets _______?________ every time he cheats.
Get it? That is what Catherine Zeta Jones did with Micheal Douglas.
2007-08-14 17:15:30 · answer #1 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tend to follow the "Don't read between lines, what you see is what you get" philosophy with regards to guys comments/questions. It's worked out for me. So, if he asked how old you'd like to be, I'd just try to believe that it was a question and nothing to be read into. But, I do think that you should be honest. I had a similar experience with that myself recently: my boyfriend graduates college in May of 08 (I graduated last may) and he begins seminary that Sept. So, we've had serious conversations about getting married somewhere in that summer (and we'll be getting engaged whenever he asks me. lol) In talking about future things, he's asked me sometimes when I'd see myself wanting children: and I really don't want kids till I've been married for a few years; So, I was honest and I said so: turns out he totally agrees. So, I think sometimes people ask questions just to mentally ensure that both partners are on the same page or to gague where the other one is at with regards to the relationship (without having to have one of those ridiculous 'defining the relationship' talks). Hope that helps. But congrats on finding that great Love! :) and best wishes.
2016-05-20 22:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with prenups God did not intend a marriage to become a business arrangement. What is the point of getting married when you are already considering what you get in case of divorce. There are some points of a prenup I think make sense, but 2 become 1 when you marry. You bf has a strange way of saying he wants to marry or maybe he is playing little games with your head, see what you would say, like would you marry if I want a prenup. Sometimes guys do those things.
2007-08-15 02:30:10 · answer #3 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not necessary going to like what I'm going to say. But I believe you asked a genuine question so I'm going to give a genuine answer with a question.
Marriage is about trust, total trust. Do not go into a marriage knowing " only your own level of trust" Personally I believe a man is suppose to protect a woman emotionally, physically, spiritually, & financially,.
The financial part is where everyone starts to balk at. It's a serious issue. I know first hand. In my own divorce I let my wife have everything, I took all the debts, (this was my idea) But I got the kids. Yes I had to start over, do I wish I had a prenuptial? No ! I can look at myself in the mirror and at least say, I was sincere & have absolutely no regrets being honest & giving. Thats what I value. Everyone has their own values, to each his own i say.
To quote you. "I don't have a problem leaving a marriage with what I came in their with" Do you really honestly believe you'll be able to leave that marriage with everything? how about your daughter, her heart, memories, Stuff is just that, stuff. You will change your stuff to other stuff and when is all said and done whats the real value anyways??
2007-08-14 15:33:41 · answer #4 · answered by Boaz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that he may consider marrying you in the future. However, without info on the lenght of your relationship, whether it is a good or bad union or anything else, it is hard to say.
Either way, I think you should take it as a general question and let it go. Or, turn the tables and ask him "what if" questions. You are in a position to determine if he is a man that you are wanting to marry. What if ya'll got married and
1. he wanted no kids? or wanted 5?
2. he didn't think you should share expenses? Or wanted you to contribute more or less to the union than he feels he had to?
3. He wanted you to stay home to cook, clean and stay barefoot and pregnant. Or wants you to work while he stays home?
Since he feels the needs to ask you the hard "what if" questions, now is the time to ask your own. Don't give him the exclusive power to determine if you are marriage material. Ask him what you deem important to see if he is worth your hand in marriage!
Best wishes!
2007-08-07 02:44:22 · answer #5 · answered by Honey423 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could be getting idea of how you felt about it. A prenup is only need though when one side has a lot more than the other side. Personal I would not married with a prenup to me does not show love or trust. Your to get married and go into it thanking it will last forever. But as I said I understand if he has something like is work that he could lose that is how he makes his living. Just ask him what he was going on about when he said that.
2007-08-07 02:39:06 · answer #6 · answered by rani 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on your ages . If he is well established , perhaps owns a business and has accumulated some savings etc., then I sure think he is very prudent to protect what he has achieved. After all , just because you marry it does not automatically become yours. Whatever you earn together of course should be shared .
On the other hand, maybe you will inherit a lot of money and why should he be entitled to spend it . Happens a lot . So a pre-nup is a two way street .
Don't look at it as a lack of trust . It isn't .
I would never marry without it . You sleep better .
You marry him for affection not for money .
2007-08-07 02:53:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think (without more information into the workings of his mind) that he was trying to determine your overall character, trying to see what type of person you are at your core. He probably has asked other questions recently like this that you just haven't thought too much of because they didn't seem as important to you.
Of course, he wouldn't care much about the answer if he didn't want to continue his relationship with you with the prospect of making it more someday. So if he thought your answer was truthful and also one he wanted to hear, then thoughts of having you as the woman he wants to share his life with should definitely enter his mind.
Additional: A prenuptial agreement doesn't mean that a person thinks the marriage would end in divorce or is planning for it to end that way, so that person below is wrong. Considering a prenup means that the person is being realistic concerning marriage, realizing that it has its ups and downs, and wouldn't be entering into it all starry-eyed. For a marriage to last it takes more than simply love, and if you enter into it knowing this and actually prepared for this, then the marriage has a far better chance of survival.
2007-08-07 02:40:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I definitely think the idea is floating in his mind if you've been together for two years. WHO don't you ask some similar questions, like kids or wedding plans. Nothing to over the top but see how he reacts. From his reactions to simple details you'll know. If he makes a conversation out of it then yes he's going to pop the question soon. If he nudges the question away then it was probably just a random thought.
2007-08-14 16:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I would answer the question. He's seeing if you are receptive to it before he asks you properly. It may be a test of sorts to see how willing you are to enter into a real "contract" between you & him. He may have been burned, or most surely knows someone who has be burned, in a divorce. I've seen people get so nasty in a divorce that they even split up the underwear. No joke, I really have!
In our society, prenups are becoming more & more prevalent. It protects both of you. Don't take it personally...it may be good business for both of you later on.
If you do decide the answer is yes, and he does want to marry you, make sure you get a very good attorney who has both of your interests in mind for a fair deal between you.
While money isn't everything, it IS very important in many marriages, and is the number 1 cause of divorce. Decide beforehand. Save yourselves grief later.
Best of luck to you!!
2007-08-14 10:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may have been just a general question or he may have been feeling you out. A prenup usually is entended to keep prior earnings and property within ones own family. To refuse to sign one only states that at some time the refuser is planning something should the marriage not last.
2007-08-07 02:45:55 · answer #11 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋