How long would you stay with someone who doesn't want to get married if you do?

Question

With kids involved.

We have two kids together. And please don't say crap about birth control. Don't worry... I don't use anyone's tax bucks to take care of my kids so keep bith control comments to yourself.

Answer 1

Do they never want to get married? You are setting yourself and the kids up for heartache. I would probably try to get out ASAP. If you can't do that because it would kill you, then decide what you are willing to put up with. At max stay 6 months to a year. Every 90 days relationships change, check out the changes and see if you are making progress. If you are staying because this relationship is btn--better than nothing---Pack your bags you deserve better. Good luck.

Answer 2

If I wanted to get married and the person I was with did not, I would not stay with them at all. That is one of the few deal-breakers out there that cannot really be compromised on. If you do not have the same goals and want the same things, it won't work out. The kids, though an important part of a relationship, are irrelevant to this fact. If the other person does not want to marry, then what kind of parent are they going to be? What is that going to teach the children about relationships and commitment? Ultimately, the one who wants to get married will become resentful, and the relationship will sour, and the children are the ones that will suffer for it. It is best to break it off now so that both parents can move on and establish their routine with the children apart. Sooner is better than later.

Answer 3

2 years

Answer 4

Me personally, not long. The issue is something that our society has been dealing with for years. If a man or a woman has children and he/she has everything a spouse would normally provide, nurturing to the children, financial considerations, sex for each other, and they could leave without all the legal hassles of divorce, why would they want to get married?

There are many reasons people get married when children are involved. The most popular reason is that they both would like to have a legitimate family. Provide a stable home and normal home for the children. When one of the children would say, "That's my step dad" or "step mom" would be better for that family environment rather than, "That's my mom's boyfriend, he lives here" or "That's my dad's girlfriend".

Children need a stable home environment that provides a family dynamic that translates into strong healthy mental psyche for the children as they grow into adults.

Men and women get confused in this issue. You should be thinking what's best for your children.

Good Luck,

Jim

Answer 5

I wouldn't stay at all, kids or no kids. It's a relationship that you will always be stressed out about and you have to think of the kids and what is best for them. To me, if a person really loves you, they would honor you by marrying you. There are plenty of other people out there who will love and accept you and your kids that will want to marry you. I say it's not worth the heartache in the long run.

Answer 6

It really depends on your age. After the age of 25 if you are with someone for more than 4 years and they still don't want to marry you.. MOVE ON!!!

By kids being involved I am going to assume the kids are the both of yours. In that case as soon as the other parent does not want to marry then separate. If a child doesn't do it nothing will. (One day women are going to learn how to use birth control properly)

Answer 7

The questions here are how much do you love them and is getting married a huge deal for you. If marriage is huge for you then you need to talk to your significant other about the situation. Tell them how you feel. If marriage isn't as big a deal as you once thought then it's all gravy. Many relationships last without marriage, just look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, 20+ years together and still in love. If, however, your love for your partner is questionable then maybe it's time to look at leaving.

Answer 8

I would not waste another minute or second of my time with the person, especially if they have made it clear that they don't want marriage. Being with the person is not going to change their mind. Think about the children involved. With kids it is never a good idea to introduce them to a male or female unless you know this person is going to marry you, it sends mixed messages to the children, and it gets them used to the person being there and its hard to explain to them why the person is no longer there anymore. It makes it very difficult for the children. I would leave the person NOW

Answer 9

I say it really depends on the situation, and the reason your partner doesn't want to get married. I stayed in a relationship for over 7 years with my son's father, and throughout we had issues, and I believe they all revolved around my insecurities on why he wouldn't marry me. We worked through things, and finally got married last month, and we both couldn't be happier! I think it's all based on your own personal situation. You need to ask yourself if you're ready to leave for good. And then you ask "How do I know if I'm ready to leave?" and the answer to that is "You know you're ready when you don't have to ask that question." Good luck!

Answer 10

I did it twice, first time with my first love, when I asked him if we would ever get married he said 'probabley' everytime! I was with him 5 years, before I got fed up with waiting and left him.

My next boyfriend I was engaged to but he didnt really want to get married, whenever I brought up the wedding he would change the subject, I learnt a valuable lesson from Sex and the City, He just was'nt that into me!

Ive given up wanting to get married, Id be quite happy to be loved and in love, why do we put so much emphasise on a couple of gold bands?