What happened on RAW last night?

Question

Best answers gets the 10 pointer.

: )

Answer 1

Raw begins with video footage of Mr. McMahon arriving at the arena earlier today – Jonathan Coachman welcomes McMahon – Vince says when Raw begins he wants every Raw superstar under contract in the ring so that he can exercise his freedom of expression

- After the opening video all Raw superstars make their way to the ring – Vince then stands on the stage – he says the last time he was “officially” on Raw he was blown to smithereens, he shows the footage of the limo explosion from 2 months a go – he says the fans must be wondering why he staged his own demise, he says he did it to see if anyone would care – he says he is happy to report that he is beloved by the fans and by the superstars, he says tonight he will address the United States Congress and the American media, he says he will also address certain members of his family, Jonathan Coachman joins McMahon on the stage – Vince says all the Raw superstars will now compete in a Battle Royal, and the winner will be the new General Manager of Raw! Coach looks disgusted…

(1) Battle Royal – All Raw Superstars – Winner becomes the Raw General Manager
Final four are Carlito, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin and Sandman – Carlito eliminates Cody, Sandman then eliminates Benjamin and Carlito – Sandman thinks he’s won, William Regal then appears from under the ring and eliminates Sandman to become the new General Manager of Raw!

- Backstage Coach is complaining about William Regal becoming GM - Vince talks about two congresses wanting to investigate WWE at the same time – Vince tells Coach he is now Regal’s assistant

- A Triple H returns video for SummerSlam airs

- Todd Grisham interviews King Booker, he says tonight he will prove that HE is the King of Kings, he also announces that next week, live from Madison Square Garden, the looser of his match with Jerry Lawler will place the crown on the head of the winner in a special ceremony

- Graphic hypes John Cena on Carlito's Cabana later tonight

(2) Rory McAllister w/ Robbie vs. Snitsky
Pointless match, over in about 15 seconds after Snitsky wins with a Pump-Handle Slam

- Mr. McMahon takes a call from his accountant, he says “we have nothing to hide” he tells Coach they are being investigated by the Internal Revenue Service, he goes on to bury the media (and so he should) and he also talks money, after he leaves, I.R.S is seen in the background wearing his suit with his briefcase by his side and he is reading the Financial Times, he looks up to watch McMahon and then goes back to his paper.

(3) Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James
Before the match, Jillian talks to Lilian Garcia about her new album coming out in a few months, Jillian then goes on to give one of her “performances!” thankfully, Mickie interrupts. J.R. quietly jokes about mixing up Beth with Jillian last week! Jillian gets the win.

- Backstage Coachman uncomfortably congratulates his new boss William Regal on becoming GM, Regal says he’s always wanted to be a games show host, and now that he’s in charge he can! He tells Coach to go get some contestants, a set, some music and they will have a rendition of the Dating Game

- Carlito’s Cabana up next.

- Carlito comes to the ring and introduces the WWE Champion John Cena, Cena intimidates Carlito and makes him sit in a chair, Cena takes over the show re-naming it Cena’s Cabana, he then goes on to interview himself ensuring Carlito doesn’t move from the chair the entire time, footage from last week is shown of Carlito spitting in Cena’s face, after Cena is through interviewing himself he turns his attentions to 3 reasons why he should kick Carlito’s ***, 3. Because Carlito has no nuts, 2. Because he doesn’t really like apples, he would rather swallow bananas and 1. Because it’s cool! Carlito and Cena start brawling Orton sneaks up behind Cena to try and RKO his again but Cena prevents it and Orton runs from the ring, Cena then FU’s Carlito whilst staring at Orton – Regal then decides that Orton and Carlito will decide Cena’s opponent tonight

- Up next; King Booker vs. King Lawler II

- Randy Orton and Carlito tell William Regal they have decided John Cena will face Umaga tonight – McMahon talks to Regal about his family, he says after his demise, his son Shane was conveniently missing, his daughter Stephanie, even though she had given a heart-felt speech the next week on Raw had already spoken to attorneys about getting her slice of the pie and he suspects his wife Linda was already looking to find a new man, he says he is confident he can get his family again united.

(4) Loser must crown the Winner next week on Raw - King Booker w/ Queen Sharmell vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler
Booker dominates most of the match to begin with, all Lawler’s attempts to fight back are cut short by Booker, Booker misses a Scissors Kick and Lawler takes control, Lawler is distracted by Sharmell and Booker gets the Scissors Kick in for the victory.

- A video package is shown of Mr. Kennedy taking out Bobby Lashley last week, J.R. notes Lashley has suffered a torn rotators cuff and he is having surgery tomorrow

- Mr. Kennedy makes his way to the ring, he says there is one thing that we will be hearing a lot from now on, and that is “Kennedy” he repeats his name multiple times – they go to commercial break

- The Dating Game with William Regal – the 3 guys are Jim Duggan, Ron Simmons and Santino Marella, the girl is Maria. Santino tries to spoil the “fun” by telling Maria to just pick him, she ends up picking Simmons! Santino gets hot and demands Maria leave with him, Umaga makes his way to the ring for his match and everyone quickly gets out of his way.

- Backstage Coachman is handed a summons to give to McMahon

(5) WWE Champion John Cena vs. Intercontinental Champion Umaga
Randy Orton and Carlito interfere, they try to get Umaga to take out Cena with their help, Umaga turns on them and attacks them both! Regal then announces that next week Carlito and Randy Orton will team up to take on John Cena and Umaga!

- Backstage Mr. McMahon is seen going to exit the building, superstars are again lined up in the passage ways, Paul London is smiling, Vince looks at him and says “keep that grin on your face!!” he leaves and realizes it’s the same as when the limo exploded, he goes to get in but before he can shut the door Coach catches up with him to give him the summons, Vince asks what the summons is for, Coach reveals that it is for an illegitimate child!! Vince closes his eyes in disbelief, Coach remarks “looks like there is another McMahon out there!” As Raw goes off air…

Answer 2

*Regal becomes New GM Of RAW
*Vince Appeared
*Umaga Vs. Cena In Which Cena won by DQ
*Next week On RAW,It'll be Cena & Umaga Vs. Orton & Carlito

Answer 3

regal became new general manager by winnningin battle royal
vince is back
cena fus carlito
cena vs umaga
orton and carlito slap umagas big fat belly and get destroyed!!LOL!! FUNNYIEST PART!!

Answer 4

WHAT THEY SAID.