what makes people think it's OK to insult a pregnant woman? what should i do when they cross the line?

Question

i am 35 weeks pregnant with my first. i have gained the standard 21 lbs. and am feeling pretty Ok considering. however, i have been battling the slings and arrows pregnant women often endure from friends, family and strangers for weeks, even months. "are you sure it isn't twins?" "there has to be one hiding behind the other, doctors aren't always right- you'll see when they pull out that second baby!", "your'e HUGE!" and my favorite is when a MAN, who will never know the difficulty of bringing life into the world- who has 4 children...telling me how hard it will be to lose "all the weight!" i am perfectly normal, content with my weight gain, my pregnancy and my life. why do people assume it's OK to insult us this way? i feel like if they think they can insult me, i have the right to retaliate and throw a punch. but then i would be wrong, huh??? what should i do???!!!!!

Answer 1

A lady at my church compared me to a cow at our Mother's Day dinner. I was in a great dress and was feeling really good about myself until she made that comment. I don't mind being huge and pregnant, and I'd rather someone say I look huge rather than too small (I figure if I'm huge, then at least I'm doing a good job growing this baby!), but there's a limit. Mostly I grin and bear it, because they'll either respond that I'm just hormonal and not even realize that they've done wrong, or else I'll burn bridges that I'll wish were there later on. If I feel the need though, I'll usually just respond, "Well, I'm pregnant... What's your excuse?" That usually shuts them up.

Answer 2

I don't think that picking on you about carrying twins hardly and "insult". When I was pregnant people said that all the time what if it's twins, it's just a standard pregnant joke. I think your horomones are really high right now and things just upset you more. I can remember how everything upset me more too. Just relax, they are just kidding with you, don't take it personally, and hell if you are pregnant with twins so what it's NOT AN INSULT it's a joke. As for the not being able to lose the weight, that is a little over the edge but when that guy says that to you tell him that statistically most men gain weight during their partners pregnancy as well, then tell him that it doesn't look like he lost all of his either. Mainly just remember your horomones are running rampant and it's okay to lighten up and let it go.

Answer 3

Whatever you do don't throw any punches. Not only will you get in trouble but you might hurt yourself in the process.

If someone makes a comment about your weight gain and you do not mind telling them off, sarcasm cuts a little deeper than a direct hit like "shut up jerk"... or something like that.

If a guy makes a comment just say. "when is your baby due you look like your about 7 months am I right?" Of course if he is a guy with a super flat stomach that wont work, so say "Well, you've obviously gone through this yourself when did you decide to have a sex change and become a man?"

Sometimes just calling them out calmly can really stun them and shut them up quick. The next time someone comments on something so personal and offends you, look at them and say, "Why is it that you would make such a personal and hurtful comment?" If you say that to the person in a direct and sincere way they will surely get the message. If not then I would no longer associate with them, or try my best to tune it out.

We can not control others, but we can control how we let them affect us.

Answer 4

I feel your pain, sweetie. Try not to get those pregnancy hormones get the best of you, cause I did. We had gone to visit my ex-mother-in-law when I was pregnant with my second. I was about 6 months, and she was making comments left and right, "Are you sure your due date is right?", "You didn't gain that much with your first...", "I don't know how you can even walk", so finally, before we left, I said, "At least I'm pregnant for 3 more months and I can lose the weight quickly, you've been holding yours for a good 30 years", her mouth dropped and I walked out the door. Needless, to say, my ex-husband was very upset with me, and there was serious tension between she and I for the rest of my marriage.

Answer 5

I'd come up with a catch-phrase for these idiots. Something like "the bigger the belly the bigger the blessing"... the idea being to take their well-intentioned but insensitive comment and turn it into something you both can feel positive about.

But for the man that made the comment about you losing post-pregnancy weight, I'd go ahead and punch him! No seriously, I'd just say "it's impolite to talk about a lady's weight" and change the subject abruptly. He needs to get the message that he's out of line!

Answer 6

This is one of those trick riddles that has no answer, right? 'Cause I didn't walk anywhere I didn't have to. If there wasn't a delivery service option, via pizza guy, mail truck, or school bus, it temporarily stopped being a part of my life.

Answer 7

I went through the Same thing when i was pregnant with my 2nd girl. an I did punch a total stranger , she told me that i was too small to have gained "that much weight" .. so I hit her right in the face , an walked away. People are always gonna be mean & rude , you just gotta learn to walk away or Punch em ! It's your body , your baby , an your life.

Answer 8

those are just the 'norm' things people tend to say when they don't know how to carry a normal conversation... believe me, i know..preg with #3 right now (21 weeks)... they don't mean to be rude, they are just morons...LOL

and the fact that you have raging hormones right now could make you think that it's very insulting. I cried the other day because I was trying to take my rings off to put lotion on my hands and someone said, OOoo...rings getting tight huh?? Of course they are, puffiness is very common in pregnancy, and I know they weren't tryng to be mean, but...I cried anyways.. LOL =)

Just ignore them the best you can. Just think "Jealous, much?" and ignore them.

Answer 9

just tell them that your body is going through enough stress and you do not need their insults making things worse. and for your first child i do not see losing the weight hard. i lost all of it when i had my daughter. and i only gained about 20-25. and tell the guy "how would you know what it is going to be like? have you ever gave birth to a child? and also you dont know my body." and if it is strangers doing it you can be as rude as you want who cares you dont know them and they have no right saying anything to you. and plus ur pregnant it is expected of us to be bit*hy. lol.

Answer 10

i know exactly what you mean my sister was constantly calling me fat throughout my pregnancy, i hated it and one day I turned round and said to her "I'm pregnant whats your excuse?" i explained i weighed the same as her and I was 8 months pregnant! I guess you just think of something to come back with, as for men i just used to glare at them when they made comments! Good luck and i doubt you'll have much trouble loosing the weight with a baby to run around after its not hard to loose it! GOOD LUCK!