What to do about a bad sexual relationship?

Question

When we first met the sex wasn't so bad, it was never too elaborate, however it was a lot better than what it has come to.

We have two girls together, one about to turn 4 the other about to turn 4mon. Every time I try to do something with him I get "batted away", because he is either too tiered, or some other excuse. Then if we do have sex it is so pathetic, we don't even get all the way naked... I'm lucky if he takes his pants off all the way! Also, he just wants me on top, or if I plead for him to go on top it is only missionary. Oh, and usually the whole event is less than 5min too!

I am so frustrated, and just don't know what to do any more. I know he is not cheating on me... I think he just has a VERY low sex drive for one, and for two he has endurance issues.

What can I do? I just didn't think it is supposed to be like this, isn't it usually the other way around... they guy always wanting it and the girl turning it down?

HELP!

Answer 1

Heidi, you are not alone. Every marriage has its ups and downs, no pun intended. A man with a high sex drive before children vs. the low sex drive after children. He could be depressed, because depression is real. He might be thinking his job is done, you have two children. He might just be tired. Whatever his reason, you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel. He most likely will get mad and think your being "difficult" because the first thing men think is "It's not my fault". Try to re-connect, get a sitter and go out for dinner and a movie or whatever your hubby likes to do.
DON'T let it consume you and make you think its your fault. There are things you can buy that will enhance your sex life, offer to let him join you...might be something that sparks his drive. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Seems tome that there's a break down in communication in your marriage. Why do communication in relationships deteriorate overtime are a number of reasons. How to stop it is another.
Try talking to him about your problems and your sexual needs. You can also go couples counseling. That's if he's willing to.
I guess it's up to you to save your relationship. Try setting the right mood. You know make sure your home is clean the kids are in bed, prepare dinner and then put on something sexy.
Men get turned on visually. Try new sex positions and techniques. You two have to make your sex life more interesting.
If this doesn't work. You two are in serious need of counseling.

Answer 3

make sure he isn't cheating. Guys have an enormous sex drive. They don't want it they HAVE to have it. Every guy I have ever known through my lifetime, husband, friend, boyfriend, brother in laws, friends husband, neighbors you name it. They have either told me, or their wives have told me the same story they all love and desire alot of sex. If this was my husband I would think he either is on antidepressants (some have that as a side effect), gay, cheating, has already cheated, or is considering it. He may be thinking of another woman. This is not right something is up and I would find out. There is no such thing as men with a low sex drive. They are getting it from somewhere else if its not with you.

Answer 4

Your man is stupid. try making him jealous, let him know that there are other people just dieing for a girl like you. Endurance issues are weird, esp. with this guy cause he doesnt seem interested and then when he is its wham bam thank you maam. he may be insecure about size or performance. if so compliment him often and do things out of the ordinary like kitchen sex or newspaper oral massages, am i too graghic here, if so my apologies im new to this site and still unsure of the rules

Answer 5

I desire i could answer that. Does he have a small penis, is that what you're talking of. some people who i be attentive to have/had the comparable situation, and in spite of the actuality which you do no longer decide on/imply to make it a controversy, it turns into one. you sense anger and resentment. you sense empty after the intercourse. people say bypass see a intercourse therapist, what guy do you be attentive to that could comply with that? i assume the only ingredient which you're able to do, is attempt to mentally finally end up drawn to him. He probable senses the sentiments which you're having, and it impacts him additionally. There are workouts called Keigal, it is finished via tensing up your muscle tissues on your pubic section, such as you're keeping back your urine, and then liberating them. this is meant to help with sensation,and tightening up. attempt different positions, possibly you're basically doing it missionary place, and you may attempt including some different strikes. possibly you desire some visualizations. Get a intercourse action picture, no longer porno, in simple terms like an suggestion/ strikes one. reliable luck, was once attentive to what you have been talking approximately, and that i too felt resentment. that could have been 'our' downfall. I crammed that 'empty' feeling I had with foodstuff. I gained 20 pounds, and now that the courting is over, I truthfully have lost 7. Yeah, me. do no longer provide up, a minimum of no longer till you have exhausted all different suggestions.

Answer 6

let him know you need more passion. Buy some toys, drink a few, get relaxed, do something sexy for him. I'm sure he's stressed get a babysitter plan something romantic. I would FIX it right away we have 3 kids 11 year old 9 year old 8 month old our sex life has never been dull.

Answer 7

He may have a low sex drive. Sometimes certain medicines have that effect. He may need to see a docter. They have all kinds of things for endurance now a days. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 8

I think he is stressed. I think you two need a vacation to relax and talk. I also think that he needs a complete medical work up. some of what you states sounds like early high blood pressure. GET IT DONE.

Answer 9

Wake him you giving him a head job and make sure he shoots his load before you try intercourse! Walk around the house butt naked AFTER the kids are in bed. W-Ank off in front of him.

Answer 10

you may have to go get counseling for the problem. My husband and i have the same problem and we started to go to counseling to figure out the real reason he never wanted sex anymore. You can also try talking to him and see if you can get him to open up to you.