Are intelligent women fools in love?

Question

I just read an interesting article:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=473633&in_page_id=1879

Basically, it said successful women are less likely to stay married, and that men stay away from successful women because they may be more competitive, intelligent, and make more, etc.

Do you think that all women can be "fools in love", regardless of whether they are more or less career-oriented?

Also the article implied that is wrong to put off marriage until after education/career/etc.

Answer 1

I think when you truly fall in love it doesn't matter how successful you are or not, you just completely love....If that makes you a fool then I guess you are not in love... We all did or do things when you love someone but, that is what being in LOVE is all about....You live and learn and move on till you love again...

Answer 2

Not to brag, but I have always been very successful academically. I got a Master's degree at 25, going to school 3 hours from home, working full-time, with a spouse who worked opposite hours from me, so child-rearing and all housework and cooking was up to me alone. I couldn't have done that without some natural intelligence. I'm a very analytical thinker. My mind goes a 100 miles a minute and a see everything 20 different ways. Yet, in romance, I was always STUPID!!!!!! I made the WORST decisions. The only guys I found that would stay with me, aside from my husband, were ones who took advantage of me because I could handle everything, letting them be lazy.

Personally, I don't think it's a great idea to wait until after your education to be married, but I don't think it's necessarily wrong. It's just personal preference. I married at 22, at the beginning of graduate school, and I was due with our daughter during my last set of finals (remember, school was 3 hours from home), and we managed well. We're still married and get along fine. The way I see it, if you're going to marry someone, don't put it off. If they're going to stay with you through your education and establishing a life when you're not married to them, why wouldn't they do it if you were married? I think people who are afraid to commit during school are afraid that they will change their minds about their significant others or their sig others will change their midns about them. Some people say, "but what if you don't want the same things? People change a lot while they are establishing themselves." News flash: People change throughout their whole lives. What about making the transition from working to retirement? Or major career changes that require moving? You have to adjust to each other and compromise forever, regardless of how old you are when you get married? Again, don't you think people think about moving to far-away places when they retire? Do you think their spouse's always agree? No, but they work it out. Basically, I don't think it's wrong to wait, I just think it's pointless.

Answer 3

I'm career oriented. Currently taking up two majors and preparing myself for law school. I'm totally in love with my fiance... like head over heels... lol. I think the most important thing is to KNOW the person you've given your heart to. Its absolutely important that you can trust your spouse. Sometimes things happen that we dont expect, but there are also instances where if we had but paid attention, the situation would've been avoided.

Many people are telling me I should wait till I finish school and establish myself in my career to get married. But at the same time those "many people" dont know what's best for me and cannot live out my life for me. We all have our own paths to walk and its important that we are in tuned to our needs, and go for our dreams. To each his own...

But about the men who stay away from successful women, I say good. Most likely a man who is intimidated by his wife's success is jealous, or perhaps an under achiever. Though it could just be that he is insecure... No one needs nor deserves to be paired up with an insecure wimp, male or female. Those who are not the go getter type, need not be with the go getter.... That is something that drew me to my fiance, we're both driven and love a challenge... and since we're both extremely stubborn, we make an amazing team. :)

Answer 4

Okay - I read the article and since I actually had several shrinks tell me that my two exes were abusive because I threatened their intelligence AND that my chances of finding a man who wasn't threatened by my intelligence were low - the article is silly.
Typically men are intimidated (won't say threatened) because they are competitive by nature and the competition from a female who they naturally see as needing protection (all unconscious biology) is initmidating because they can not treat them like a man. It just goes against their basic instincts which makes them uncomfortable and then of course they prefer women who are less intimidating.
Makes sense, right?
A woman needs to only know that she is intimidating to realize that many men will not want to date her. The men who do are the ones who have issues. So in order to find a man who loves you the woman needs to be less intimidating - dont down play her intelligence but up play her other wonderful qualities.
When the shrinks told me I was doomed to be alone because I intimidated men and even the shrinks (one was a woman!) I was sad for a while. However I realized what I just wrote. Today I am happily involved with a man who is bright, articulate, intelligent and who is thrilled with what I have brought to the table. We dont' work together in work but we have our daily intellectual discussions and battles with relish at home. He appreciates my intelligence and success as his own. How? Because I became very choosy about who I would date. Being with someone was no longer more important as being with someone who I wanted with me. I had a world of men to chose from - not that I was running out of choices. I'm 43 by the way and realized this when I was 38. So you can be intelligent and sucessful and yet have a rewarding relationship with a man. You just need to believe in all your qualities and utilize them on a daily basis to connect with others. Oh and loving yourself is very important. That needs to be accomplished first.

Answer 5

Everyone is a bit "crazy" when they first fall in love- it passes. I have a 75 year old friend who has been a "fool" in love. It blinds you to reality. Some men cannot tolerate a woman who is moe successful than they are- the male ego thing. If you wait too long to marry your biological clock may cause you problems if you want children. If you find the RIGHT one marry him and make the rest work out together.

Answer 6

Successful women, much like successful men, tend to use their head to make decisions (that's why they're successful in the workplace). However, no matter what your socioeconomic level or level of education, if you don't follow your heart instead of your head in love, you will make a poor decision. You can't rationalize who you love and can spend the rest of your life with. That's why those two are related. I don't think career women have to get married prior to succeeding but they need to leave the work at work when dating and looking for someone.

Answer 7

I think the lady telling the story is fooling herself. She may have a high IQ but that has nothing to do with it. She placed carrier before family and she is surprised to find that she has a good carrier and no family. She is not that smart I guess.

As a guy I can say that many women drive themselves like men and succeed like men and are as smart as men. Good for them but I have enough male friends and I don’t want my wife to be one of those. I don’t want my wife to be like a man in any way.

I want a women who is all women and proud of it. The biggest turnoff is a person who spouts their resume all the time. “I went to this school” I got these grades’ I am smart” bla bla bla. These people, male or female, tend to rely on their degree and amplify small successes as if they where a big deal. These small successes they spout all the time are things that hard working people do everyday and don’t think about it.

When looking for a mate IQ is not a prime factor. This lady believes this because it is easier to blame her loneliness on men who don’t like smart women rather than to point the finger at herself and say this is the path I chose.

My wife has an IQ nearly equil to mine which is above average. She stays at home with our family and quit her carrier so that she could raise our kids. She chose family over carrier. I new she would and her values are geared to a solid fmily life for may kids and me.

Remember when you die you will not say; I wish I spent more time at work. Your regrets will be 'why did I spend so much time at school when my kids where young' 'why didn't I spend more time at home' etc.

I agree with mouse. I think we said the same thing from different perspectives.

Answer 8

Women come from all walks of life.. from bad parents.. maybe no parents.. from good parents.. maybe from one good parent..so, women are just the same as everyone else. The past family life of a woman is more likely going to dictate how she handles her future mariage or relationships than anything else. If she is really wise, she will remember with kindness the mistakes of her parents.. and she will make sure she never repeats them.

A womans best child bearing years are when she is young.

Answer 9

i think anyone can be a fool in love maybe intelligent women need more stimulation and unless the man is on the same wave length as her she might go off him you should only get married when you are ready to and who says you can't study later and achieve all you just do it in the reverse order

Answer 10

Well if you put of marriage until you're career is in full swing, some women might be waiting a long time....but I say to each her own....we all have to live with the consequences of our actions....also, any man "who is jealous of a chick wit' dough" (as Eve so eloquently put it) doesn't deserve to be loved by a successful woman until he is more secure with his own manhood.........bk