Are you currently in a bad or complicated marriage with someone that you KNOW is not going to change, but yet you continue to stick around? What are your reasons?
I have been married for 3 years to a man that would rather protect his ego than to say he's wrong or agree with what is right. If you have read any of my posts then you know what I've been through. But for some reason I can't find it in myself to move on. He's never going to change and I know that. But I sit and "hope" that he will finally see that he is messing up a good thing. I really do care about him but I can't list a lot of positive things about him. Anybody else in this situation?
2007-08-07 01:53:26 · 8 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Almost same situation here. I've been with my husband for 8 YRS (long distance relationship). We have two kids. I feel the same way I have to stay because of my kids I dont know about your situation but I am afraid to get a divorce. I've cheated on my man just for him to maybe get his attn that there is something wrong in our marriage but nothing happened HE STILL HAD THAT MACHO IMAGE THAT HE IS THE MAN THAT HE NEVER CHEATED AND HE WILL ALWAYS BE "RIGHT". I've wondered if he'd ever change but I know he won't. ALTHOUGH i do have something to tell you "THERE'S GOT TO BE AT LEAST ONE POSITIVE THING ABOUT HIM" You wouldnt be with him now for wasnt that one characteristic he had. Isnt it aweful we expect to be loved respected appreciated by our man but instead we are neglected. Either they will say we are being too emotional drama queen but they just dont know how we feel inside. I dont know how to advise for I am in the same situation. I am just answering you question if anybody else is in the same shoe as you and the answer is YES.
2007-08-07 02:06:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a marriage for 2 1/2 years to a man who was very controlling and very seldom admitted that he was wrong and most of the time turned things around on me to make me look like the one that was wrong. I stayed in the marriage because I didn't think that that was grounds for divorce and that we could find some way to work on it. It's usually hard for men to admit that they're wrong. You, also have to realize that you can't change a man, only God can. I would say, try not to always focus on the negatives and start focusing on what it was that first attracted you to him. He may not know what he's doing and if you approach him in a non-nagging way and just gently let him know. You have to speak at the level of a man, which they are very logical thinkers. Also, when you do approach him, let him know that you appreciate him and tell him something good about himself so that he doesn't automatically become defensive when you tell him. This is always very effective, and you'll find that communication is much easier when you approach it like that. I hope this helps.
2007-08-07 02:03:02 · answer #2 · answered by Shelley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U can be my friend anytime! I am also somewhat in a bad marriage, but I am to chicken to go out for the divorce window. I have been married for 15 yrs and I have no idea or clue, how to get out of this miserable marriage mess. Its getting worse and worse, by the days and years. I really do not understand myself as to WHY, I still continue to stick around my first marriage life.
2007-08-07 02:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that.... leave now! I was married for a year and felt the same way. We dated for 5 years and I thought it would change when we got married and it didnt. I also would sit and hope that he'd realize what he had, but he didnt. My ex was just too selfish to be married. We were on and off for a few months, but eventually I kicked him out for good (yes, it is so hard to do). BUT, I am now engaged to the perfect guy and we have a 6 week old daughter!! So it gets better. Dont think your life is over.... it sucks for the first few months but then it does get MUCH better and you'd wish you never wasted so much time.
I know it is hard, but be strong!!!! They do not change!
2007-08-07 02:01:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and I really do not know what to do either. I am staying because of my children, but I think I may just go crazy one day. I think my husband might even be cheating on me though he denied it when I asked him. He has quite a violent temper and he hit me that night when I asked him, giving me a blue black eye, though luckily my eye was ok. He refuses to talk about our problem and continues to treat me coldly.
So I can only empathise with you but I am sorry I cannot help you as we are in the same boat.
2007-08-07 02:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by iris K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 30 years I filed for a divorce, I lived on hope and it got me no where, wake up and you know what you need to do. My to be ex ran home to mommy and daddy, he's 56 years old, and when we go to court guess who gos with him, his 80 years old mother, how sad is this??? He does no wrong in their eyes, how sad!!!
2007-08-07 02:19:15 · answer #6 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, you don't respect him, and if he cheated on you, he doesn't respect you. If you don't respect each other, then you aren't compatible. It's simple really. Your marriage isn't complicated: you two don't respect each other, so you aren't compatible. You should have taken more time to get to know each other, and you should never have married somebody you cannot respect.
Complicated my butt.
2007-08-07 02:01:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No
2007-08-07 02:29:44 · answer #8 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋