I think most of you will find this hilarious but I'm finding it annoying and I don't know how to handle this.My bf of five years was on really good terms with my mother and when we broke up, they didn't want to stop talking to each other.My mother has him as a second son, or so she says. This has created big problems to me,because they call each other and occasionally go out.I remember returning home and finding them drinking coffee together.I've fought like a thousand times with my mother but she says I don't have the right to tell her what to do and who to invite.Last night I think I saw my ex flirting with my brother's ex gf!!My mother said she's not going to talk to him again, but she still believes I was wrong in breaking up with him and hurting him. I admit he was a good guy back then, but wasn't I right in retrospect?She insists that if I hadn't let him go, none of this would have happened because he loved me. How can I make her listen to reason? She more supportive to him!
2007-08-07 00:55:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My mother don't want him for herself, guys!!! She loves him as her own son and stood by him after he got hurt when we broke up..
2007-08-07 01:05:16 · update #1
My mother always supports people who are in the right even if they are her family. She's just like that. So she thinks I'm in the wrong. She's doing all this because this guy was a nice man who loved me a lot...but he wasn't making me happy. She thinks I will never find anyone else who will love me as much and be as nice as him.
2007-08-07 01:08:09 · update #2
Sorry, but your mother should support your decisions over someone else, no matter how close they are.
2007-08-14 15:33:50 · answer #1 · answered by Treece 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That your mother has felt compelled to develop such a close relationship with an ex boy friend of yours, would seem to indicate that your mother may not be the best judge of right and wrong, good and bad.
Everyone has to make decisions that they think are best for them. If your reason or reasons for breaking up with your boyfriend were in your best interest, no one has the right to tell you that you made a mistake. Live your life and try not to intentionally hurt others in the process. If people around you don't give you the same courtesy, ignore them.
2007-08-07 08:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by nevit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some parents are that way. We can talk to them and prove our points and side of the story until we are blue in the face and they still want listen. A lot of them think parents know best. In some cases they do, but in this case she should have seen how hard it was on you and as a mother she should have been there to back you up and not him. I don't care how much I may like my kids boy/girl friends I will always have my kids back/
2007-08-07 08:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mother has behaved quite badly in all of this, blood is thicker than water!!!
No point in anyone casting blame now at the end of the day you broke up with him because he wasn't making you happy, surely you mother only wants happiness for you????
I would let it rest now but bear in mind for the future that your mum might not be as supportive as you might hope.
2007-08-07 08:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by JOANNE C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my little sister (23 years old) just ruined a great relationship she had with a genuinely great guy.we all know she is in the wrong.do we pick sides/switch teams ?!?!?!? b/f's,g/f's come and go.thats life.
the great thing about life is we all get one to live as we see fit.if you want to dump a b/f,for whatever reason,you have that right.you have the right to be cruel or kind.it is your life.
however,you shouldnt demand your mother not want to remain friendly with him because its HER life.you have severed intimate ties with him and you both are free to do as you please.that said,if you feel your mother is choosing him over you,that might be the perception you created.
your mothers heart is hopefully in the right place and i doubt she will let a 5 year relationship you,her DAUGHTER,had change her love for you.on the other hand,dont create drama.no need for her to hate everyone you hate JUST because YOU hate them.adults dont behave this way.
2007-08-14 05:52:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mother did this to me and I really think it stinks the way they cross the line re your boyfriends. She even phones them up at their work to chat with them and I view it as being "sick". They should respect your wishes and the only thing I can suggest is get your mum to let you know when he is there, or turning up. If talking to her doesn't help, just stay away for awhile and when she asks why you don't go around so often, tell her and let her know how disrespectful it is to you. Even now she tries to play mother to my daughter and son in law and phones him up at work for chats and I get quite angry with her. They just don't know when to back off.
2007-08-07 08:16:43 · answer #6 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is so much emotional imaturity out here. If we study Emotional Intelligence we develop our intellect, increase our IQ, clear up our thinking and be emotionally mature. That's a pretty good package. I hope you buy it and get out of the mess to see it yourself. Also developing you intution. It gives you all the answers. That's their mess, let them deal with it. See how they meddle. Do you want to go that route?
Check out iliveineasyworld.com it's more fun. The both need to go to easy world, where everything is easy. If they go live in easy world it will staighten them both out. They are living in difficult world.
2007-08-07 08:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by hb12 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him if he cares anything for you that he will stay away from your family and tell him you don't feel right with him being around and it makes you uncomfortable. You can also tell him that he is starting arguments between you and your mother and that he does not have to even call and say anything to your mother because you already have.
2007-08-07 08:06:10 · answer #8 · answered by My two cents 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, show you mother this letter. She needs to let you make your choice on a life partner. Sure he may be a wonderful guy but it sounds like you just don't see yourself spending your life with him and that is for you to decide. Good luck.
2007-08-07 08:10:46 · answer #9 · answered by joni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore it your mom is probably hopping you go back together. The less you talk about it and show that's bothering you the sooner he will move on and you'll feel better. Just say hi and bay no conversation. Good Luck
2007-08-07 08:49:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hm, maybe your mum wants him for her self? im sorry, it sound scruel, but what kind of mother puts her daughters ex boyfriend infront of her daughter? what kind of mother puts ANYONE before her own daughter?
Im sorry i dont understand her motives.
She is right in telling you that you have no right in telling ehr who to see and who to invite. BUT you have the right to tell her that she is wrong, that she is a bad mother and that she is direspecting you by behaving as she is now. tell her straight girlfriend...
its just wrong...
i'd tell my mother where to go...
he is a little smart *** by staying in good terms with your mum, he sees her as an ally by, in sense that he thinks that she will have a n effect on your descision on getting back with him... did i word that properly...
omg.. i would tell them all to get stuffed
2007-08-07 08:01:30 · answer #11 · answered by Kendi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋