I'm gay and can't come out now but a gay guy told me It's nothing different from being a liar.?

Question

Am I liar?
I was talking to a gay guy who is out about someone's lie. I personaly hate lies and liars so much and he said what's the difference between liar and me if I don't come out? It offended me so much. Am I liar because I can't come out? I'm nothing different from liars which I hate?

Answer 1

Hogwash. Sure - you are deceiving people but it is justified. Besides - whose business is your sexual preference other than your own? You should wait until you are socially and emotionally prepared to share this part of your life with those closest to you. Many people will not be able to accept your lifestyle and that can be very traumatic. Proceed with caution, either way.

Answer 2

Of course what you do in the privacy of your own home is nobody's business but yours. It doesn't really come up in conversation much, does it? Obviously if you are dressing and presenting yourself as gay, then someone might ask. But if you are presenting yourself as a regular guy, its not very often thought about.

My concern is why you feel you must stay in the closet. Are you a minor? Living at home with parents? Even then, it would be good for you to get things out in the open. Parents can be very supportive if you give them half a chance. If its because you are in the military or something like that, its still "don't ask, don't tell" anyway. Other than that, I can't figure out why it would be important to stay in the closet. I don't tell you what I do in my bedroom, and I don't expect you to tell me about what you do.

No, you are not a liar. You are in the closet. That is an understood situation for a certain percentage of people. I would just remember that your life is what you make of it, and at some point in time, you will want to be yourself, and not hide out.

Answer 3

If you are comfortable with your sexuality, then that is all that matters, and only you can decide when and if you want anyone else to know. But remember, sometimes it backfires: As you are waiting for the right time, someone somewhere somehow, lets the cat out of the bag, and that's worse than you not coming out and saying whats in your heart . So think about that. Is it a Lie? I don't think so, but some people might look at it, as you are living a lie, by not telling others, about it.

Answer 4

What you've been told has got to be the biggest load of horse **** I've heard in a long time.

Being gay (and coming out) is probably one of the most complicated and emotionally demanding decisions in the world.

If you choose not to come out you're not lying you are simply making a decision that is right for you at the time.

Don't be upset - or influenced - by the gay guy in question. Coming out is something you need to do in your own time and on your own terms.

You are not a liar - you are you - be completely proud of that, today, tomorrow and always.

Answer 5

No No No No you are not a liar and nobody has a right of calling you one because you are probably quiet, shy, or even bashful but i dont know bc i dont have any gay friends but you are probubly just nervous or anything else i remember i now pernounce you chuck and larry and the big gay guy and how he never told anybody then he met chuck so then he wasn't afraid anymore and told everybody and so then nobody was mad or angry at them except the people that were agenst gay people but seriously your not a liar no way no how

Answer 6

No you are not a liar. You don't need to tell anyone your sexual preference if you dont want to, it is none of anyone elses business. You come out when you feel comfortable about it. If you arent dating women and therefore lying to them by leading them on then you are not affecting anyone by staying in the closet. Having said that a lot of people feel so relieved when they DO come out so when you feel you are ready it will probably be best for you to let people know. But as I said before, it's no one's business but yours, I didn't go up to my family and friends and tell them I am straight so why should a gay person have to tell anyone about it?

Answer 7

It's not about being a liar. It's about your sexuality being no one else's business unless you want it to be.

Unfortunately, if asked and you say to someone 'it's none of your business', that often leads to the assumption, correct or no, that you're not straight. So many people say they are to not open up the can of worms.

If you're not being honest because it's none of someone else's business and you don't want them making assumptions, then you may be lying, true. But that's not the same as lying to avoid punishment, to make oneself seem important, to get someone else in trouble, etc.

Answer 8

are you a liar? yes and no

there is a difference between telling people information who do not ask as opposed to telling people who do ask incorrect information.

So, if anyone asks if you are gay and you say no, then you are lying. However if people don;t ask, you are not really lying by saying nothing.

Another side to it though is if you try to conceal your being gay by dating girls or otherwise attempting actiiopns that are not in keeping with being gay then you are lying.

Moral of the story - be true to yourself and do not practice deceipt and deception.

Answer 9

Ignore other people's bad advice. Go by your gut feeling. You are not a liar. There is no need to hang our laundry out in public.

Answer 10

You would only be a liar if you denied you are gay if confronted with the question.You are in no way obliged to declare anything that is personal to you, be yourself and don't let unkind bullies upset you.