I can't get him to have a serious conversation about trying to conceive a child. He says he wants a child but he's always joking and I can't get him to express himself! I finally got him to admit he's scared and that's why he won't be serious, but I can't persuade him to say WHY he's scared. Any ideas on what I can do for our conversations?
2007-08-06 21:53:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Strap him to a chair, ply him with alcohol and make him talk. lol j/k.
It sounds like he's trying to come to terms with what you're asking of him. If y'all have a close marriage he'll eventually open up to you and tell you. He's probably trying to figure out his own feelings at the moment. Don't stress, but DEFINITELY don't trick him into having a baby. I had a friend that did that, and now she's all alone with a baby to look after.
Just give it time and show him support for whatever decision he makes. Even if that decision is ultimately not wanting a baby. If this decision completely goes against what you want out of life... well maybe y'all weren't meant to be together.
2007-08-06 22:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by christiekpoe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is opening up if he's admitted that he's scared. Maybe he's not sure WHY, but you should be comfortable with the fact that he's being honest. Scared is also an intelligent reason, because having a child is a major responsibility. That will change both of your lives, mentally, emotionally and physically. Now if your both ready to have a child that will change your lives in a wonderful way. If your not ready, that could cause trouble in the marriage.
Understand your husband. He's making alot of sense. The perfect time to have a child is when you've been married for at least 3-5 years, ages late 20's, early 30's and you BOTH want that child more than anything in the world. Never force him, because then he will feel trapped and slip out the back door for freedom.
Relax, you'll conceive a child when the time is right. Good luck and God Bless that time.
2007-08-07 05:34:48 · answer #2 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He is scared of the unknown. He does not know how you will react when he tells you he doesn't want any. You have to find a way to bring up the subject without him worrying how you will react when you discuss the subject.
Let him know you are open to his thoughts on the matter.
Good luck, by the way kids are wonderful. I hope things work out for you. I have 7 sons all grown and married already. I know exactly how you feel.
2007-08-07 05:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a toughie. Takes a lot for a man to admit he's scared. Best way to get more details out of him, is to take the "i'm right there with you" approach. Let him know that you're scared too...even if you're not. Could be anything, from, NOT wanting the added responsibility, NOT wanting to be completely tied down(for lack of a better term), to possibly feeling as if he'll be a failure as a dad.
Bottom line...don't act til you're both sure.
2007-08-07 05:00:49 · answer #4 · answered by imrt70 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lf u are really married there is nothing to be scare of and if his financially okay. My advice for you is that, for you to know is mind about it,anytime he tell you again tell him you don't need a child now that you are joking.And study his reaction,l know he will ask you the reason but tell him that he should tell you his own view about it first before you can tell yours. Or else he not okay at that aspect.
2007-08-07 05:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by First Lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is afraid, he may have a good reason. Have you two been fighting a lot? Are you financially stable? Have you been married long enough?
Don't push him into something he is not ready for, or you may be raising a child by yourself.
2007-08-07 04:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe he doesn't know what he is scared about... or isn't comfortable talking about it, cos you'll think he's stupid...
i was scared when my wife conceived... i had all the possible things that could go wrong running through my head... miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, down's syndrome, etc... and it was frightening...
2007-08-07 04:57:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's afraid to tell you that he doesn't want children. By passive agressively putting it off, he's serving his need not to have kids and his need to keep the peace with you. Be confrontational and yet non-judgemental when he does tell you that he doesn't want children. You are his wife, you promised to be with him and to love him. He never vowed you would have children.
2007-08-07 05:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave him alone
why do women have to talk everything to death
he doesnt want to talk about it
get over it
he isnt a woman dont expect him to behav like one
he is willing to go along with having a baby
he doesnt have to talk and talk and talk about it like a woman
2007-08-07 06:09:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's just doesn't feel ready, that's all. it's a scary thing for a lot of people. i myself could not imagine having a kid right now, even though my girl wants one. can't do it. what's his deal? does he still have some goals that he's trying to accomplish?
2007-08-07 04:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋