Why are young people getting married???

Question

I just don't understand why most of my friends are engaged(21-25), my 22 y/o cousin just got married... I don't understand why they rush? We could live until we're 100 so why get married now? All of my engaged friends never went to college either, and they constantly ask me when my boyfriend and I (of 6.5 years) are getting married. Like why do they think that I would revolve my life around getting married? As if it's all I have to look foward to being a post grad.. I hate thinking about marriage, I come from a divorced family who stayed together for the kids. WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME WHEN IM GETTING MARRIED????? Some say that if I don't plan on marrying my boyfriend then there's no point of us being together. wtf? Help me understand this weird thinking process

Jayne, we're not practically married because we do not live together, nor do we share bills, nor do we co-own anything.

Well whats wrong with getting married in your 30's? Why early 20s? We just graduated from college, life is just beginning. Who wants to play house?

Answer 1

Why assume that one must revolve ones life around a marriage? Being married is about companionship and partnership more than it is a duty or ones job. Perhaps, that's what parenting is, but it's not as if married people cannot have careers, travel the world or finish post graduate degrees. Marriage only hinders when each spouse has vastly different goals in life and each are forced to give up their dreams for a gross compromise.

As much as people say we get married when we want to settle down. Marriage isn't about tying yourself down to a city, a house and a bunch of brat nosed kids. It's just about a life partner and that life you live will always be your own and lived by your drum, but as humans, we're social creatures and there's a certain amount of convenience and satisfaction in being married. You've always got someone to stand by you and someone to stand by even when that partnership is miserable and you can't stand the look of your spouses face let alone his voice!

Of course, I think a lot of people rush into marriage thinking it's what they're supposed to do or that dating is only about finding a mate and mating should only be done after marriage. A lot of young woman want to have babies right away, this instinct to breed causes so many social problems! A lot of young people haven't grown up enough to know what they really want, instead rely on what they've been taught. We're taught marriage.

I think what you noticed with your friends who never went to college is interesting, I wonder if it has to do with the fact that many college programs force a person into questioning social norms and traditions, not to deny, but to objectively look at these sorts of things.

That being said, I'm in that 21 to 25 year old age bracket and engaged, but I'm not settling down. I'm just getting started!

Answer 2

You're still a kid when you're 20. You don't even know what you want in your life yet. I'm going to be 19 soon (oh my god, I'm going to be 19 soon :O) and from what I've seen and done I hold this to be 100% true. The reason so many young marriages end in divorce is because people end up figuring out what love really is and are so disappointed that their fantasy is over. Why not just date a guy and wait until you're 25? Marriage requires a lot of work, and you will contemplate divorcing the person countless times in the course of your relationship. I can almost guarantee your friends are going to be divorced before they're 40.

Answer 3

The older you get the more risks are involved with having children.... and children is what most people want at some point in their lives. I dont see anything wrong with being married at 21-25. Some of the most immature people I know waited to get married until they were in their 30's.... maybe because they never had to focus on anyone but themselves for all of those years? (I am not calling you immature by the way, just saying what i have seen) I think you have a problem with marriage because of your up bringing and thats not fair to think everyone who is married is going to end up that way. Maybe you should talk to someone about it?

Answer 4

I don't think you're certain about your boyfriend.
I am sure you have a good time and you love him very much.
But asked where the 2 of you are in 5 or 10 years time, I think you don't have an answer.

Do not worry about it.
I was 100% the same when I was 25.
Once you can answer that question is when you start thinking about marriage in another way than 'something that other people do'.

Answer 5

What are you so scared of? Why not let your friends be happy if they are? Why have a boyfriend for "6.5 years) like a long term relationship, but put down marriage? You are practically married already after having been together that long, it's just not a legal marriage, well, in some states it would be a common law marriage.

Answer 6

You are not weird gal. It's normal cos when you see the growing up process in a divorce family, you'll get scared. Some may have their own vision of their own why they want to marry early or later. The good things is your children will be a grown up when you aged. You can't simply to have the energylook after your children when you are 50-60yrs and who is going to take care of them when you as a parent can't. Unless you don't want children than that's fine when you want to get married. Age doesn't matter as long you are mature enough to give the commitment.

Answer 7

People get married in their early 20's in order to concentrate on organising their lives together as a single unit (rather than as two unconnected individuals) and in many cases, to raise a family. For hundreds of years, marriage has been seen as a normal activity for loving couples to aspire to and the marriage itself is often a source of immense celebration and happiness. If you wait unto 40 before getting married you (a) greatly reduce the number of years you and your husband will be together (b) risk the possibility that one or both of your respective parents will have passed on before the big day and (c) you will only have a short time remaining in which you as a woman are capable of natural conception. If you really don't like the idea of marriage, it is the best thing to tell your boyfriend now so that he hasn't got his mind on something that may never happen.

Answer 8

I'm 19 years old and i got married this past December and my husband is only 18 years old. Marriage is something special two people celebrate together to show there love for one another. Yeah sure you can share your love for one another in a less drastic step but marriage means ur in it for the long hual. But everyone is different in every relationship. a very close family friend waited 10 years to get married. they met when they were 19, went to college and finished, and finally got married at age 29 and now live happily together with there new baby girl.you shouldn't let peoples opinions get to you. even while i was still with my husband i went to my first year of college and got nothing less then a B the entire time i was there. you should let people go on with there lives and let them have the choice to get married at a young age if they want. And you carry on with school and what not. And live your life the way you want to and not let everybody else's opinions and views get to you! =]

Answer 9

I got married very young, and at the time I had no life experience. When your young you think you will get the fairy tail - 99% of the time you don't. Waiting is the best option - get an education, travel, do things that intrest you. I wish more people thought that waiting was best - there would be fewer divorces!!

Answer 10

Alot of younger people are getting married under the pretense of a wild sex life. They think that its a way to ensure that the babe or hunk they are with, will be there the rest of their life.

They get married, get their own place, bang each otherr all day!

When that wears off, divorce soon follows.

The Rat