Ok so i've been with my fiance (he proposed dec 05) for over 2 years it will be 3 in november, When we met i was so happy he was the sweetest guy i've ever met he's so perfect but except in this area which you will read, any other area he's the greatest guy i've ever been with.
Well here we go, last summer i came over to his house browsing on his computer and i find all sorts of e-mails and accounts that he had online (in his profile he had his status as single) also convos with other women! I couldnt belive it, i confronted him and asked him and he said it wasnt his and i knew it was who else could it be? then he broke down cryed and apologised we made up after a few hours and i gave him another chance. Then a few months later i caught the same crap(yep, i forgave n went back again) and just this june the first week in june i found a whole new e-mails and profiles and things he was on sex websites like babblesex! i couldnt belive he did it again, and i said three strikes ur out..
2007-08-06 18:07:10 · 9 answers · asked by sexc_baby 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
but as you know i forgave him after our HUGE conversation(maby a mistake i had just made doing that??).
I dont know what to do lately im always so insecure now,im always like oh what you doin or scared he might do it again(last summer i was scared he might do it again n he did), We have a baby on the way and now im even worse because i dont want a broken family befor its even here.
Why do men do it and was i wrong for keep on taking him back. You know i know that saying once a cheater always a cheater, but im not sure if what hes doing can be classified as cheating? I guess i just cant let him go thats why i always forgave him i just love him so much i dont know what i would do with out him.
can anyone give me advice? or something? should i distance myself should i do the same thing back and let him find it on purpose? what to do.... im in desperate need of help i dont need this cloud hovering over my head right now or forever.
2007-08-06 18:08:45 · update #1
Ah, the universal catch cry for abused spouses everywhere - "But I love him" (imagine high whiney voice). Get real!
Clearly he has an issue. Assuming he's never crossed the line and gotten physical with any of these women, ask him how you can spice up your sex life. If he doesn't know ask him what he gets from the sites then try and be creative about how you can give that to him. Councilling and tantra classes might be in order, but try that first.
2007-08-06 18:14:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Yes, he is cheating or trying to but he obviously sucks at it!
2. He is not a very intelligent man because he allowed you catch him thrice doing the samething, so he'll make tons of stupid decisions after you guys get married.
3. Yes, you were stupid to take him back, so you are just as bad as he is.
4. Now that he knows you will take him back, why should he stop cheating now... you have already given him the green light
5. So maybe he is smart after all... he's marrying you. ;-)
Lastly... why do you women always turn to trying to spice up THE OLE SEX LIFE, as if that's going to change anything. You guys really don't understand how most men are wired.
2007-08-06 18:19:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went though almost the same situation. The difference was that we were married already. he begun with chat rooms, where he met some girls. He said that they were just friends. Later on, a particular girl sent him a picture of her very revealing. I confronted her and him. She just was laughing at me and he said that there was nothing more. He cut off ties with her. But his addiction continued over the years. Now? well, I wish I could say that those problems are over, but not. They progressed to the point that he CHEATS openly with many women, in many states and foreign countries. His current work allows him to travel many times per month, and in every city that he visits, he has a girlfriend. I founded many IM, emails, pics with many of them. He doesn't care about me at all. He says that he hates me, that anyone else is better than me. He prefers to spend his time at home chatting with them, than talking or interacting with me. We are getting divorced, and sometimes I feel so miserable 'cause I let all this go on for so long... For my own personal experience, I can tell you that cheating on line only leads to cheating in full. Please, do not let yourself and your little one suffer for someone that obviously does not love you. Move on and God bless you.
2007-08-06 19:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It usually starts on the internet. Mine did, he said all the right things to me. We became friends, took months. He was so lonely with a wife and kids at home. He needed me. Our relationship was so smooth and caring. Then the line was crossed. I am out of the picture now by my chooseing. The HOLD ON, Baby lines took 3 yrs of my life from me. He is still on the internet, with his wife at home with his children. Beware he is still doing the same things as before. I kicked my exhusband to the curve after 11 yrs of marriage for doing the same thing. I am ashamed of myself for crossing that line in the first place, I knew better. The problem was I was not thinking at the time. Just wanted him to feel better about life.
shame on me.
2007-08-06 18:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's classic. Do something incorrect and then turn it around on the different guy or woman like that's their fault. My ex husband used to call 900 numbers. while the telephone invoice rolled around it became for 3 hundred.00. He pronounced it became my fault and that he does not could do this if I wasn't working nights!!!! IMO what you defined is cheating. cheating does not continually could be actual a minimum of IMO.
2016-11-11 10:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might be addicted. Technology such as internet and cell phone etc have made it so easy to cheat. If he wants you in his life he'll need to get some help. You can't possibly live with that.
I'm sorry for your situation.
2007-08-06 19:20:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is hard one for you.. but you needed to know all this before marrage to him. he acts like this now he will still be doing it when married too. for me i would move on and let him have his internet sex stuff and friend.. you both can still be a good parent to the baby and not leave together. i would move on hes not trying to change or he wouldnt still be doing it.. good luck
2007-08-06 18:31:29 · answer #7 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to say this but it sound like it time to let go. three
strikes and you gone in my book. if you continue to do
something you know will hurt the one you say you love, then
it time to move on. he has some issues that he need to deal'
with and if you keep taking him back he will contine to disrepect you.
2007-08-06 18:13:36 · answer #8 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say this to you he wont change he only get worse on it . find a man who cares for you and let him live as he has chosen he will not stop it. my honst opion?
2007-08-06 19:26:04 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋