We had a discussion earlier about stereo typing and he was telling me how much it bothers him that people stereo type him. He says that people see him as being ''just another Black man even though he has allot of goals that hes been working towards and hes a really social and big hearted person'' He said people assume that he is like everyone else in his family etc. (negative people) I saw that it upseted him allot but didnt know what to say. I feel bad. Any suggestions on things I could tell him?
2007-08-06 17:35:13 · 13 answers · asked by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Yeah he told me that people dont see what I see... he said that even though he's a really good person and values education, others assume differently
2007-08-06 17:47:01 · update #1
Joker - He's a chef at one of the Marriotts near where we live, he already got a degree at a culinary school and he is currently working towards furthering that one at a different school (where he and I met) he has one year left... his resume is PAGES long; his goal is to own his own catering business and so far, hes doing a pretty damn good job at working towards doing just that! (He gets A's and B's in school, enjoys going to work, treats my son and I wonderfully and treats everyone he meets with a great amount of respect so there ya go : )
2007-08-06 18:25:44 · update #2
His other goals are all cooking related and hes obviously working towards bettering himself as a chef via his hands-on experience and education... :)
2007-08-06 18:29:05 · update #3
Tell him to prove all those people wrong with his actions and accomplishments.
2007-08-06 17:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by J T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are always going to be people. Many of them want to judge a brother by a few other bad apples. They judge by appearance, not by careful observation.
As a person of colour, I've experienced both sides of the problem. Yes, I've been guilty of stereotyping. But I grew up, got more mature.
People have stereotyped me. Heck, even parents of white girls I have dated did that to me. One man said, when I worked for him in landscaping, "Well, now I've got a Mexican." What was that all about?
One old Air Force vet asked me if I had my green card. Heck, I was BORN in the USA. I even served in the Army.
So yeh, people will do that. It hurts sometimes. But you grow a thick skin, you don't sweat the small stuff. Cause those people don't mean diddly. They ain't nothin.
Just be true to your own self, and know your own self. And love your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind. And love your neighbour as your self. Even the ones who stereotype you. Cause they don't understand what they are doing.
Maybe you can just listen to him, be there for him. Pray for him.
I would say to him, "Don't pay attention to those fools who stereotype you. Look for the few wise ones who see into who you really are. And be careful not to fall into the trap of doing what you see is hurtful.
"Like Spike Lee's character, the old man in Do the Right Thing. said 'Son, always always do the right thing.' " And let God take care of the rest.
2007-08-06 17:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. Don't take it personally. People will always stereotype (the not so smart ones anyway) but it is up to him not to take it personally. His opinion, not those of others matter the most. If he knows he's not just another black man then very soon everyone will know it too. Bottom line, don't let what others think affect you. What you think about yourself is what is ultimately going to determine your relationship with others and how far you go in life not the other way around. Good luck. And keep telling him how special he is and that he is not just another black man and soon he'll start to believe it as well
2007-08-06 17:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by uz 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him that stereotypes are used strictly by the naive, prejudiced and baised.
they simply see things skin deep and they dont care enough to see what is beyond that.
tell him that he should be lucky that some people make stereotypes because it makes it easier for him to know who not to hang out with and talk to.
thos people are ignorant and base their knowledge on tv and comics.
stereotypes are simply generalizations and describe groups as a whole
if a white persons first experience with a black person is negative, they may feel that way towards black people forever because they are too dumb to look and see whats really going on
tell him that youre sorry that their are so many people that WILL see the amazing qualities he has despite any draw backs stereotypes bring
2007-08-06 17:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by Allie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Race is always a problem, especially with those that cling to it. I see many "colored" people at work, not just black, but South African, Hispanic, Philipino, etc..... I work just as well, or sometimes even better depending who I'm paired up with.
For them, race isn't a top priority, but for many people it is. They let it seem like an excuse as to not to do as well, or to not try as hard, etc.
From my experience, the ones that are the most racist are the black or Hispanic cultures that don't want to be around anything but their own, making me feel like an outsider in their world.
For example, the public pool here is free at certain times. I went there with wife and child, and my wife and I were the only white people there. (My stepson is half hispanic.) They were staring me down, talking behind my back. My wife and child got in the pool, but after that, we left. I don't like fighting, especially since my family was just out for a good time. From all of the comments I heard, I was not welcome there anymore, sorry to say. AT A PUBLIC POOL!!!!!
I can feel your husbands pain at people stereo typing him. It sucks, its where I live, I'm the only cracker here, it seems....
I wish people would get it through their skulls that color does not mean different!!!
2007-08-06 17:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be honest about the fact that you feel bad about him feeling bad. That reflects empathy, which is a good thing.
Then ask him to consider the fact that many people are ignorant, and stereotypes only confirm that fact. Ask him to try to be forgiving of people who don't know any better than to stereotype. Help him understand that it's THEY who have problems, not him.
If he continues to feel like it's him against the world, play into it. Tell him "if you're going to let them get you down like this, one day they might convince you that it's true, and then they would win this battle."
2007-08-06 17:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell that young brotha that YOU love him and that YOU don't see any of those things when YOU see him. That's what My wife said a cupla years ago, and I haven't cared what other people thought about me since.
A good woman builds her man up. And I can tell you are a good woman, because you're looking to build your man up. One Love!
2007-08-06 17:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well,tell him to hold his head and don't worry about what other people say in this day and age you better be proude of what you have acomblished in life.
2007-08-06 18:39:43 · answer #8 · answered by Garry T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is very unfair. The good you see in him WILL be seen by others. Keep working hard so it will not be for nothing.
2007-08-06 17:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Whynot 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that the people that stereotype him are ignorant and he shouldn't even give them the time of day. He will show them one day when he is successful, and they are not.
2007-08-06 17:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by ~~*Paradise Dreams*~~ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋