I Married My Now WIfe Knowing That She Insults Your Character And Jumps To Conclusions. What Should I Do.?

Question

When We First Met I Did'nt Have Much, I Was Down On Luck But She Stuck Around. We Went Into A Mall One Day And She Wanted To Go Into A Store. She Had Been Telling Me About All These Guys Who Had been Spending All This Money On Her And Buying Her All These Nice Things I Felt Embarrassed To Go In So I Told Her I Would Wait Outside. She Began Insulting Me Saying Your A Loser I Should Not Have Talked To You You're Stupid And All These Things. Over The Months This Continued. But Instead Of Leaving I Tried To Understand Her. Since Then We Got Married And We Have Come Far...But The Insults Continue...Now I Even Do It, And I Was Never This Type Of Person. I Know Some Might Say Why Did You Get Married In The First Place......Well I Love Her....She Is A Good Woman...She Just Says Things That Sink Deep Into Your Heart....I Still Have'nt Forgotten Things She Said Six Years Ago!. But Im Wondering What To Do Now..Because Im Getting Older And She Still Wants To Do These Things...I Need Help!!!!

Answer 1

I'd say you need to figure out what's more important to you. If she truly loved you, she would have made a change years ago, but it sounds like it's not going to happen. You need to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with a shallow, self-loathing person like your wife. People that insult others usually are insecure about themselves.

Answer 2

Some who might say "why did you get married in the first place" would be right to ask. Marraige is about more than just loving someone. They should encourage you, inspire you, and support you...your significant other is supposed to make you a better person, not degrade, insult, and deteriorate your self worth.
You might want to try explaining how much you're hurting, and ask to seek counseling together. If she won't go, and you're still unhappy, think of packing and leaving.

Remember something..we teach people how to treat us. The fact you keep putting up with it gives her no reason to ever change.

Answer 3

I feel bad for you and i understand your situation because i used to be the same way, i was so mean to my hubby and he married me anyways, because he loved me, i've grown out of saying the things i'd say and let me give you the reason i was that way, it was because of my past, i bet 100 percent your now wife had bad past relationships and now she is taking it out on you, she is afraid of getting hurt again, this is how i felt, no matter how sweet and loving my hubby would be i still felt i had to put this wall up because of the fear of getting hurt, we even got married, he put a ring on my finger that should of showed me how much he loved me, but it didn't , it's so hard to explain, but over time i've come to realize that he really does love me and i've let my guard down a little more and i keep on feeling more comfterable over the course of time, if you really love her, just tell her this is hurting you and you want to help her work on this and she can talk to you about how she is feeling and why she is saying the things she is, it can work if you just stick by her side and keep showing her eveyrday that your not giving up on her.....pray about it, but i was just like her and i've changed, it's taken about four years to let my guard down but it happend, it took a good man to show me that men are not all the same.

Answer 4

You definantly need to sit down and have a legthy conversation with her.Its not fun being with someone who does this to you all of the time. Explain how you feel and tell her you love her but theres things about her you hate. TEll her your to the point of leaving and need her to stop becauseleaving is definantly the last thing you want!

Answer 5

Tell her how you feel about the insults. If she loves you, she will listen. Tell her in a calm way, and maintain eye contact. Also, act sad when she insults you. If she has a sensitive bone in her body, she will feel guilty. I hope that helps. Also, the person two spaces above me is right. She is probably insecure.

Answer 6

i understand this sounds to obtrusive, yet have you ever asked her why she is so insulting??? you're able to permit her understand how plenty it is frightening you and which you need for this habit to alter in the two one among you. considering you at the instant are swapping insults together with her, this occasion is going down hill rapid. do not permit from now on time bypass by using without speaking approximately this occasion in case you like your marriage to be a happy one.

Answer 7

wow... talk about having a low self esteem... you got yourself in this mess.... now you gotta be a man and tell her what bugs you and try not to cry while doing this.... and learn to say NO and tell her how rude she is being. if it leads to divorce then fine... hopefully you can take your new manhood and get with a better woman.

If my girl talked like that i would in a second tell her what's up. if a person disrespects you... you gotta stand up for yourself... she has been walking all over you since day one.

Answer 8

have you tried talking to her about it and telling her how you feel. it might help if the two of you go to counseling but she might not want to go through. even though you know she was like this you shouldn't have married her but since you did you have to try and make it work between the two of you. but it takes two to make it work though. so if she's not willing to make it work it will be harder to deal with. but if she loves you she will try and make it work. try talking to her first. good luck.

Answer 9

I don't remember posting this, but it's verbatim what I was thinking about posting.

Answer 10

What should you do? You made your bed, lie in it.