Dinner with woman after marriage?

Question

My friend from over a decade recently married a man who is also a friend of mine. She changed drastically after she got married, she stopped having lunch/dinner with our guy friends (were platonic relationships). Her husband hasn't changed at all, I work at the same place as him and I saw him having dinner with this new girl at work 2 nights ago. When I mentioned it to her, she said her husband informed her about going to dinner with the girl from his workplace. I know she is confused about how much interaction is okay with the opposite gender after you are married. What interactions do you married people think are permissible?

Answer 1

Work interactions I wouldn't have an issue with. Him just hanging out on the weekend to be hanging out I wouldn't dig as much but as long as I knew the woman and felt she respected our relationship I wouldn't throw a tantrum. Anything but old relationships is probably okay to a degree.

Answer 2

Your friend may have changed because that is what she thought was right. Or maybe her husband is a hypocrite that thinks she shouldn't hang out with men. Either way, I think after marriage a healthy boundary should be established between opposite gender friends. It's just about respect. You don't have to stop being friends with people of the opposite gender when you're married, but it's no longer like college days where you'd go over to some friend's house and crash on their couch after a night of hard partying, etc. I'd say whatever BOTH partners establish as comfortable for them is what is best....every couple is different.

Answer 3

This ones a tough one...in our marriage, we are very honest with each other so going to a dinner with a co-worker is okay if I'm told. I have to trust my husband as much as he has to trust me. I've been married for over 12 years and i do miss the interaction with men. I too had a group of guy friends i hung out with. Other married people find this hard to believe and feel that you have to look into your own marriage and so as a woman, i feel challenged with what's right. The best thing i do is to talk to my husband about my feelings and findings. Hoped this helped???

Answer 4

I did not get into an intimate monogamist relationship with my boyfriend to share any part of him with another woman or vice versa. Dinner?? I don't think so. That's a date, not dinner. Lunch at work? Not by themselves. Maybe with a third person. If you don't open that door of opportunity in the first place, then there won't be the possibility of "misunderstanding" or "it just happened" or "we couldn't help ourselves" or "he/she understands me" or whatever else could possibly develop. I trust my guy...it's the other "hoes" out there that I don't trust. And for my guy, he can trust me, but believe me, he better not be trusting the other guys. I get hit on all the time even with the guys knowing I'm in a relationship.

Answer 5

I wish people would not answer if they have nothing constructive to say!
As a married woman, i think it really does depend on the couple. Some people are happier with more platonic friendships than others. The couple needs to make an agreement between themselves on what they think is ok. Saying that though, I dont think it is ok to have a male friend who I am closer to emotionally than my husband, that is, one that I would tell things I would not tell my husband etc.

Answer 6

Dinner with a group is okay, and once or twice a few spaced time with an opposite sex person would be somewhat acceptable, depending upon the situation. Continued interaction would not be permissible, but if you have an understanding partner, it may be more flexible.

Answer 7

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If he's not letting her have lunch dates but he's ok doing it, that's suspicious on a ton of levels. And a total double standard. If my fiance tried that trick on me, I'd just go anyway. There is nothing wrong with going out on a platonic date while you're in a relationship. But if he's so worried about her doing it, yet he's still doing it.. sounds like a bit of a douche.

Answer 8

i don't think either spouse should be hanging out alone with a member of the opposite sex no matter how platonic or professional the date might be.

it just creates the chance for crushes and attractions to develop... and worse an opportunity for cheating to occur.

so unless that "friend" or co-worker is a homosexual then a night out should always be chaperoned by the spouse.



<3

Answer 9

i really dont think its right for you and an opposite sex friend to go out or have lunch alone. either that person needs to come over to your house with your girl their, or you make phone calls or you go to the friends house with your girl. later its up the the other spouse if they trust you enough to go it alone with yuor friend but honestly, its really not cosher. either their needs to be alot of aquantance in the room or they significant other should tag along. also their newly weds. in time when a good trust has been established, then all may work itself out.

Answer 10

If you were friends before the marriage, i think its ok, so long as your partner doesnt have a problem with it. . But at the same time, why cant you all meet together and hang out, i,m not sure why it has to be done seperately. her hubby shouldnt be hanging out with women he just met at work, long time buds are ok..but no on new ones..sorry.