Does anyone work with people who will not speak until spoken to?

Question

Everyday I go to work and there is this one co worker will not speak unless i speak to her. and talking to her is like pulling teeth. I try and talk to her because we work next to each other and I feel uncomftable if there is just silence so I always try and start a conversation is this normal? Should I continue to do this.

Answer 1

i'm like that, do you have a problem with that?

Answer 2

I know what U mean because I have worked with and have been around people like this, the best thing u can do is to just say " Good Morning", Bye, and Have a nice weekend to her because she's either just the quiet type or something may be wrong.

There are many reasons people are this way, my mother is one of those people who say speak anyway no matter what just speak because it's the kind thing to do.

But u don't have to try to hold a conversation with her because she just doesn't want to talk.

Ur a nice person to feel this way because Ur right when Ur sitting right next to her it must be uncomfortable not to say something. I don't know if she's being rude, because as I said before maybe something is wrong.

She may have been the talkative, friendly type and people have wronged her so much till she just shut down and stop talking to her co workers. She could be bashful, she may have issues at home, it could be a number of things. But try not to worry to much about it, it's not u it's her


If U want I guess U can invite her to lunch, maybe from there u can get to know her and she may open up =-)

If she says no to lunch don't feel to bad for too long at least she knows Ur a nice person

Good Luck

Answer 3

I'm sure there are many people out there that behave in this way and there are many reasons to explain such behaviours.

Some reasons are as follow:

- Attitudes => e.g. they don't like to talk to strangers or people they do not know well; skeptical about human beings

- Habits => e.g. they usually wait for someone to talk before they talk; they don't like to talk in the morning or working hours

- Lack of social skills => they don't know how to start a conversation; they don't have topics to talk about;

- Personality => they are passive and reactive; they don't like to gossip; lack of self-confident or esteem (they worry or afraid that they talk the wrong stuff); sarcastic

- Other concerns => they are worried that they may be spot by supervisor for talking during working hours; they think they have nothing in common (i.e. no common interests/topics)

You could try to observe and get to know her more, e.g. her habits, interests and likings, before you decide what you want to do with her.

Be yourself and do what makes you comfortable. However, do watch out the way you talk and behave. Some people may like to associate with people that are too talkative or talk no-sense; or spend time on conversations that are time consuming but not beneficial to them.

Answer 4

I'm one of those people who won't speak until spoken too. Shyness should be considered a fatal disease! Honestly though, if you feel that she isn't at least making an effort to talk to you as well, I'd probably stop attempting to talk to her.

That said, how long have you worked with her? Maybe she's having a rough time and just isn't up to socialising just at the moment. Whatever it is though, try to steer clear of the painfully forced exchanges, as she's no doubt picking up on your discomfort and thinking your doing it as an obligation rather than because you want to.

Answer 5

I don't think shyness has any thing to do with her not speaking, some people just do not want to be bother unless it work related, you have try and try, and now you should ask her is it ok to speak to her in the morning, and see what she says, if you do not want to ask her. than stop speaking to her unless it work related and see if there is a change in her attitude, and if no change, than she do not want to be bother.

Answer 6

It's ok to always be the first to start a conversation. Just have a small chat with her. Have lunch with her. When she is comfortable with you, you will find it easy to communicate with her. Treat her as your friend and tell her so.

Answer 7

Maybe she is just really shy, and isn't good with socializing. Continue to talk, but if after a while she still doesn't, she probably isn't shy, and just doesn't like to talk. Weird!

Answer 8

many people are like that. she is probably trying to be polite and has no idea it bothers you. she probably doesnt want to disturb your work but once you start talking-she sees its an ok time to talk.
Yeah-if you want to talk, then continue to do this

Answer 9

who knows i mean the person sounds up tight try to talk about her intrestsand what she likes to do
if that doesn't work turn the scenerio around and wait for her to adress you! it might work :D

Answer 10

She might be shy, or is having problems at home. Or, maybe she was like my old manager, a snob.

Answer 11

i hope you dont think it's a problem because im like that and my bosses told me im on the fast track to going from gas-pumper to manager, no joke.