My husband currently said he doesn't love me anymore. We are growing apart. Everything I do, he hates. He is obsesed with money and doesn't want to work on our marrage. But he doesn't want me to leave. Another man resently came into my life that I was with 11 yrs ago. And he still loves me and everything about me. Flaws and All!!! He moved, so thats the only reason we broke up. My husband never appretiates me. So should I stay with him and deal with it. Wail until he gets alot of money and just hope it gets better? Or should I leave and start over with the other guy, who is not money drivin. Not broke, just not obsest with it. My husband is a great father and man, just not a very good husband to me. I will never be enough for him. Someone please help.
2007-08-06 16:14:10 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Speak with your husband, maybe go into counseling. At least try to make your marriage work before you leave it.
2007-08-06 16:18:32 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You Wrote:
My husband currently said he doesn't love me anymore. We are growing apart. Everything I do, he hates. He is obsesed with money and doesn't want to work on our marrage. But he doesn't want me to leave.....
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His statement sounds like there is no marriage left, at least not any emotional connection on his part.
Then later you say " My husband is a great father and man, just not a very good husband to me".
THe rest is all about a past love.
You are frustrated, hurt and very vulnerable and this past love has rekindled some feeling you are not currently getting from your husband. You should NOT take off with this other man right now. You are not emotionally ready to jump from the frying pan and into the fire.
If leaving is what you think is best then do so . Just do it the right way.
Get your OWN place for you and your child/children.
Do NOT date the other guy or any other guy untill aftrer you have finalized this marriage.
Get your life together on your own then and only then should you look at sharing your life with somone else.
If the other guy is really your "True Love" and his feels the same towards you... he should agree with what I said and be willing to allow you the time you need to divorce and start building a life of your own before you and he get together.
Move too fast and you just might look back one day and regret your choice.
2007-08-06 16:35:00 · answer #2 · answered by mommakaye 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't love each other Leave but don't jump right in with someone else. Though you have been with him before. See each other awhile. No sex then see if he stays. Have you asked your self if your husband doesn't care why does he not want you to leave. Maybe part of it is you. Give it a try. Act like your husband is your new boyfriend seduce him with love and kindness and sexy clothes or none. Then go from there if there is really no chance then leave. Make sure! Sometimes you regret a rash decision and its too late.
2007-08-06 16:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by adairangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to work things out with your husband first. If things don't change, I would not recommend staying in a loveless marriage. Your children won't be happy unless their parents are too. I know you want this other guy, but if he had not come back into the picture, would you still be having these thoughts? When dealing with your marriage DO NOT include him in the equation. Leave him out of it. Later if things do not work out and this man is still available, go for it, but do not let him be the reason you leave your husband.
2007-08-06 16:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, if your husband isn't gonna put the effort in to make the marriage work then there no point, you can't fix it by yourself. It takes 2. If he doesn't treat you well anyways why do you want to stay with him? For the sake of being in a loveless marriage... Be glad someone is already at your doorstep ready to whisk you away! your husband is doing you a favor he leading right into the arms of TRUE love. When one door closes a window opens, so If I was you I'd jump out!!!
2007-08-06 16:26:43 · answer #5 · answered by In♥w/mykids! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would ask your husband one more time to work on the marriage. If he says yes then work on it with all you have. If he says no, then tell him you are leaving if he doesn't want to work things out. If he still says no, then leave but DO NOT start a relationship with this guy for AT LEAST one full year!!! If you leave him, your troubles are realy just starting, not ending. it will be alot harder than you think for everyone involved. You are seeing everything in this guy your husband isn't but he has his faults too and you will see those later. Its so hard to have a family split up. dont leave your husband for him. If your husband doesnt want to try then you have no reason to stay but leave and get you and your kids "OK" with the situation before getting the old boyfriend involved. If you move on with him too soon you will ruin things with him/ TRUST ME!!!!!!!
2007-08-06 16:22:48 · answer #6 · answered by jon jon's girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would say go with what you want. It's unfortunate but it happens.
Both of you are growing apart...maybe it wasn't meant to be. Staying together for the sake of the children is going to cause more harm to them than good.
However, how do you know that this other man is the right one for you? You got married to a man that you thought was the best.
Sometimes, the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. Think...are you sure you want to make a life altering decision like this?
Agreed, there is no guidelines, no manual to follow in life...there are no guarantees. I think that is what makes life for certain individuals. The unknowing.
YOU have to make the decision and at times they are very difficult.
I wish you the best on your decision.
2007-08-06 16:33:28 · answer #7 · answered by Magicman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that the marriage is important and that you want to make it a happy one for both of you and the family. You both need to fallback and regroup. Tell him honestly that if things keep going on like they have been; that you do not think that you will want to be married anymore. You will be willing to work on the marriage if he will show a minimal effort to work on it. If he really cares about the marriage then he will need to show you that he is willing to do something and right away. You do some research about what is availiable in your area and what will work with your schedules etc... Get all of this together then talk. You might need to set a deadline for him to start to work on the marriage. If you do not do that then he will try to put it off. If he cares then he will jump on it. If he does not then that is your answer. You have children so do not jump into another relationship right away as that sends the wromg message to the children. Get close to the children and ask them to help as they are involved deeper then both of you. Work on the marriage and focous on the kids as they will be the ones that will have to suffer no matter what you decide to do. This might not sound too apealing to you but start on this website:
www.drlaura.com/
She is hard but she will tell you what needs to change.
Good luck!
2007-08-06 16:38:17 · answer #8 · answered by orcarius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about if your husband really treats you badly, if so then here. He stays with you for the kids, and probably because you didnt get a prenup right? Or perhapy its because you guys have been married for a while so hes grown used to you, whatever the case youre not happy? I think life is too short to care about money, or makign things work for other people. This may sound selfish but, it's your life, you have to do whats right for you. Your kids will still have a father, he just wont be your husband. Follow your heart, if someone appreciates you for you, and understands you, then thats a beautiful thing and I think he sounds right for you. Talk it out with your husband then make your decision, this ones tough but if you truly think about it, youll know whats right for you. Good luck!
2007-08-06 16:21:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am in a very sismilar situation. The difference is that my husband is broke, I am trying to build my own business to support my child and... my true love, who just found me after ten years,vanished. I think he got scared of living with a devorced woman with a child. Anyway, make sure that nothing can get on your way. Protect your and your children best interests. Be strong and do not trust your destiny to anybody. I know how you feel. All the best.
2007-08-06 16:36:53 · answer #10 · answered by Searching 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey...you said "for better or worse", not "for better or if he is perfect".
Cheating is NEVER right.
I'll never understand how people try to justify cheating with talk about how terrible their spouse is and how wonderful the other man/woman is. Come on! You loved your husband or you wouldn't have married him. This other guy comes back around and you start to have feelings and you can find all kinds of flaws with your husband. You used to love him, remember?
Maybe if you put the time you are wasting thinking about cheating, into working on your marriage, you could repair things.
2007-08-06 19:52:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋