Please Indians help me with this situation. I am a doctor, just finishing my residency training in general surgery. So is my cousin, but now he is now entering a cardiovascular fellowship. My cousin is dating a white woman. I am trying to get him to leave her, but no luck. I want him away from her. I feel white women are dirty and slutty. I hear about white nurses at the hospital (also black women) who have 1 night stands with multiple men. I have found out the white woman my cousin is dating has been with several men.
My culture is different. I see white women dancing very slutty at bars, and kissing random men. I hear the stories and heard of some who do more than several men in a relationship, being unfaithful to their other.
I need my cousin away from this woman. Already he has told me she has initiated sex with him even though he has refrained because he wants to be married before sex.
any advise that will help me pursuade him?
2007-08-06 15:43:31 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
#1 - you are in America. You are getting your education in America. Racism does not go well in any conversation in America. #2 - If you are so concerned about "your culture" and "your women" than I suggest you back to India. #3 - I understand you are concerned about your cousin but he is old enough and apparently smart enough (cardiovascular fellowship) to make his own decisions. #4 - Have you even talked to him about how you feel or are you trying to embarrass him into giving her up? What your cousin does is his business. What the "white woman" does is her business. I am in an interracial marriage of 20 years. They do work. #5 - Please stay out of his personal business and encourage him to be the best Heart Dr. that he can be. #6 - Encourage the positive, let go of the negative.
2007-08-06 16:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest having him watch some of the movies with a Indian husband/boyfriend and a british/american(any non-indian) wife. They are out there and most don't paint a pretty picture and it will probably discourage a serious relationship but it is not serious, then not much need to worry. Everyone (no matter where they are born) has serious regrets if they choose to date before marriage......
I would think you need to not generalize the women involved. American culture is not like Indian culture at all. All women in the US do NOT do the same thing! And yes, surely you know about abcd's who are more American in behavior than Indian? Do not make ANY woman suffer just because she was not born in India!
My husband's first wife (both from India) slept around and drank heavily after coming to the US because there was no family support anymore, so don't judge a person by their past behavior, it isn't always accurate to predict what will happen in the future......
Oh, one last thing, try to get the woman involved to watch these movies too. When she realizes how bad SHE really will be treated, she won't want to stick around for it. Whites in US are not used to the social stereotypes you described or being treated BAD. That's one of the excuses whites make for why brown people deserve to be treated so bad. And yes , there are even some blacks in the US who are not used to being treated badly either. At least, the woman won't stick around unless she really loves the guy, and that should be respected too..................I know that if I hadn't been lied to about what would happen, then I might not have married my Indian husband at all..............
2007-08-08 18:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a pretty racist thing to say Aladdin. I'm not white, but I can tell you that not all WHITE women are sluts. We can say that Indian girls are boring, ugly, and frigid. It's no wonder that the husbands cheat on their wives and are perverts when I walk into 7-11. Why don't you leave your cousin alone??? He's an adult so let him make his own choices. How is this WHITE girl affecting your life anyway? Is she bothering you? Is she harassing you? Are you losing sleep over this? And if you are then you need to get a life! Or move back to India!
2007-08-06 15:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
He needs to remember the culture he comes from, he needs to understand that we are all different. I'm Indian so I know what you mean we have a rich culture and keeping our dignity is so important to us. I don't think that you should have said such horrible things about white women, there are good and bad in all kinds of people. Your cousin must know that this relationship can't work, if he marries her it's worse. As Indians Honor and respect means the world to us, for a women it has to earned. I don't think that this women can achieve this from people in our community. She might look at his family like they are OLD FASHIONED. I don't know if you can convince him, I'm guessing she might just by being herself.
2007-08-06 20:05:52 · answer #4 · answered by Rahima Liverpool 4 life 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are generalizing a race.
Not all white women are slutty
Not all white women sleep with more than one man at a time
Some white women sleep with their husband only (as it should be)
Some single white women do not sleep with anyone because she is not married
Not all white women dress and/or dance slutty
Did you ever consider getting to know your cousin's girlfriend to learn her personality, to learn her family values, to learn her religious beliefs?
What frightens me is that we have a person that is going to be a general surgeon in our country that is racists. This makes me worry that you are going to be one thinking "oh this is a white woman, she must be slutty, I am not going to be careful and cautious during her surgery".
2007-08-06 15:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by LyndasCa 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol. With ideas like that you should of stayed under the rock for the rest of your natural life. Why did you move to our culture? Did you expect us to change for you? lol. We don't wear bags over our heads, because we are respected as thinking individuals. We have as much or more education as men do. We have a right to enjoy our life, and we won't apologize for it. Our attitude depends on choices we make. That must be unbelievably new concept for the likes of you. I can see what attracted your family member to this woman: she is very much alive. And if he is anything like you, she will get sick and tired of him and his stereotypes pretty soon. So don't worry about it. Just go ahead and take a shower please.
2007-08-06 16:15:02 · answer #6 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really pretty sad to hear that a doctor, Someone who is supposed to care for a treat everyone equally is so narrow minded. If you don't want to date a white woman than don't, but let your cousin do what he wants!
2007-08-06 17:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by dm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry---but I live in Oklahoma with loads of Indians and there are just as many in the clubs and beer joints and doing what you say others are doing. There is no difference between any race, they all do the same things.
2007-08-06 15:56:25 · answer #8 · answered by lana s 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's because the white women portrayed on tv and reality shows are always sleeping around. I don't know if that's true but...I'm sure not all white women are that way.
2007-08-06 15:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
first thing wud be to tell your cousin to practice safe sex with whomever he chooses to have sex with..
Secondly.. You are being rather harsh.. do you have proof of all the things that you have said..?
2007-08-06 16:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋