Okay when your in a long term relationship asking your wife things like this... Are you happy with me? Is there anything I can do to make your life more stress free and happy. Do you feel I communicate enough with you? If there was things you could change about me whats the first one? I'm trying to learn from my failed marriage as I think lack of communication was a key factor and I never want to go through the heartache again but I also don't want to give up on love. Would that be considered good communication regarding the relationship? Currently a student studying in the school of hard knocks!
2007-08-06 15:34:25 · 20 answers · asked by David r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would stay away from the if you could change one thing questions. If someone really loves you, they wouldn't change anything. I think good communication involves talking about things in general, not necessarily direct questions. Just learn to notice when things don't seem right and talk, don't interrogate.
2007-08-06 15:37:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jessie C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's see... If I were you, I would stay away from people who have a hard time expressing their feelings. It is very hard to have a decent communication with a person who has no idea how to communicate. Open communication between loving partners means daily exchange of thoughts and feelings. It is a certain need to confide in your very best friend in the world, because he / she is and will always be on your side.
As far as I could tell from your comments, your error was not in lack of communication ( you obviously very well express your feelings verbally ), it was a wrong choice of a bride. Take it as a hard lesson in life and learn from it. Good luck sweetheart!
2007-08-06 15:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, those questions would make me think the man is not confident in himself. Even though it would be nice if someone asked "is there anything I can do to make your life more stress free" would be absolutely FANTASTIC!!!
Communication in a marriage it open discussion. Talk about the day and things that need to be done, sharing responsibilities, acting as a team and not one sided. Someone that actually listens and pays attention is an actual shocker!
2007-08-06 15:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by LyndasCa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That you are asking questions if very important. I think you are also asking the right questions. This is one half of the good communication.
The second half of the good communication is to listen to her answers and make changes if you are willing to or negotiate a solution that is good for both.
You are on the right track. Make sure you listen to her answers as well (not saying that you dont as there is not enough infrmation)
Good Luck and keep up the good work.
2007-08-06 15:41:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hallejujia, I think you've seen the light! Those questions are a great start. Just remember to ask the question, then listen. You don't have to always respond. Sometimes just listen and you can come back to it later. But allow her to feel that you are really hearing her, and you will do great. Most people are too busy forming a response to really listen to what is being said.
2007-08-06 15:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Along with that would include opening up about your feelings and needs in the relationship...also, talking about everyday life...and leaving her and yourself with the confidence that you can talk about anything. Been married almost 12 years, and been through times that communication was a foreign word...but somehow manged to talk our way through it...brought us much closer together and now know....even if it's gonna hurt we can bring it to the table with out fear of judgment or criticism. Good Luck.
2007-08-06 15:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know the answer to those questions before you ask them, your problems are bigger than you think! It also sounds like you don't want to fail so badly that you're willing to be clay...and let her make you into the man she wants. It's probably going to be more successful if you be yourself and find a woman who appreciates you. If you try to be someone you're not, the energy it takes to maintain the facade is enormous--and doomed to fail.
2007-08-06 15:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by lfh1213 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok but all your communications are asking her what she wants. you also have to let her know how you feel and what you want. it goes both ways.
"sweetie, when you xxxxxx i feel xxxxx because xxxxx"
when you make me bananas flambe i feel very loved because i know you care enough to make my favorite food
when you vacation with your friends twice a year adn say you don't have time for a vacation with me, i feel left out because i need intimate connections with you
i felt happy when you agreed to go to the movie i suggested. why don't you pick one next time.
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN. you can't change yourself to please someone no matter how hard you try. your questions indicates low self esteem, and more of an effort to please the other person than to seek equality. don't go overboard trying to please...that will not work. you will jsut become resentful.
read the book 'getting the love you want'
2007-08-06 15:39:41 · answer #8 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to be an unpopular answer, but Dr laura at drlaura.com, has some good books on relationships and personal growth, realistic, how to make good decisions etc....perhaps one or two of her books can help you.
2007-08-06 15:45:23 · answer #9 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I beleive in destiny but I still think you have to fight to save your marriage. Especially if you have children.
This ebook is a good resource to understand causes of your marital issues and to learn some important tips --> http://savemarriage.toptips.org
2014-09-26 01:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋