it has been months now and i still feel withdrawn from my boyfriend. he tells me to be patient and that he will eventually heal. he claims that he responds this way to me b/c i wanted to do a temporary job move 3 hrs away. says he couldn't imagine being away from me and felt hurt so to prevent himself from being hurt he began to shut down. problem is...i am no longer leaving and it has been months and he is still the same...getting worse actually. i cry now when i lay next to him b/c of how withdrawn he is...is this apart of the normal ups and downs of a relationship or is it really over
2007-08-06 14:50:29 · 15 answers · asked by Divine_10 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In your own words you say its been months and he has still kept you shut out of his life. He is lying to you and in the process of doing so he is hurting you deeply. This is not the normal ups and downs or a relationship. You said months... not days... had you said days I would tell you yes, but not months hon. Listen.... men and women alike sometimes have a hard time telling the truth when its over. He is making it so you have to do the hard part. Some kind of man isnt he? Would you not rather have a partner that shares you life than one who shuts you out? A partner that stands with you and one who would have encouraged you to take that job for bettter opportunities in the long run. This man did not. Now this man is taking advantage of the love you feel for him, but in a very negative way. He will not come around sweetie.. But you be the woman and do the right thing. Leave him because there is someone right around the corner when you are healed from his games waiting for you and this man will know how to treat a lady. Remember this.... we determine how people treat us and you allowing this to go on far too long. I saw onward and UPWARD and no more tears shed for this type of man. I would tend to agree with another poster that he is having a thing on the side as well. You don't need to be playing with that and catching something ontop of his game playing. Be the strong independant woman you are and don't wake up 1 year from now and be in the same place you are tonight... waiting...... you make things happen for you in your life, but honey.. not with this man... he has a lot of growing up to do.
2007-08-06 15:13:54 · answer #1 · answered by billies35 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, shut out
It sounds like he already had another agenda going before you told him you was moving.You have to remember you cannot control anyone but yourself,you cant make him wont to be with you if he does'nt wont to be with you.
You sound like a very caring & loveing person,you need to
move on with your life and if he comes back,and its ment to be he will be back .But my question to you is after all this time of him stringing you around,do you really want him back?
while your home crying and being depressed he is out playing the field, he got you where he wants to on a leash giveing you just enought slack to think "That there is a chance he may get his **** together and wants to to be with you". dont wast your time find someone that will support you in everything you do.dont let anyone string you along like he has done, that is not conduseive to a good and normal relationship.
good luck hun your are to good for his type!
Stormy
2007-08-06 22:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by stormybrahm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he honestly just does not sound interested anymore, i guess you are both growing up and moving on, even tho you cant see it,.. try giving him the cold shoulder for a while and see how he likes it.. only time will tell what you two should do or what is meant for the both of you
but good luck, there is no a reason a girl should cry over a guy who she knows deep down is not worth it anyway
there is another person out there waiting for your heart to come along!
2007-08-06 21:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by x..Cassie..x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like a normal reaction to a temporary job move from months ago. Is there something else going on?
2007-08-06 21:54:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There comes a point when you have to look out for yourself and move on to greener pastures. Maybe your boyfriend needs some counseling or even some antidepressants. Whatever he needs he obviously isn't getting.
2007-08-06 21:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by ArachnidDemon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him and get over it, find someone new. Do some volunteer work, a new door will open for you that is better than the old one. You do not deserve this. Move on.
2007-08-06 21:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by Wrong number 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's manipulating you with his insecurity. If you stay with him you will eventually be afraid to make a move without consulting him.
2007-08-06 22:08:16 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time and he will come around..... it is normal .... this is what make a relationship strong... like he said be patient .. i know that it is hard just hold on
2007-08-06 21:55:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Either he is playing a game or he has emotional problems.
2007-08-06 22:05:54 · answer #9 · answered by the_wayward1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its over deal with it and move on
2007-08-06 21:53:28 · answer #10 · answered by rhodeislandbornandraised 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋