My wife of many years left me for a guy at her work last year. I divorced her very fast as she didn't want to go to marriage counceling or anything she just wanted her new lover. I talked to her last week as we share our children together. I told her how I'm putting my life back together and she said "Your putting your life back together what about my life?" I almost fell off my chair! She bankrupted us from gambling 3 years ago and I had excellent credit and now she is blaming me!!! I somewhat feel blessed that she is out of my life now so I can find a wonderfulk women who will love me and I will love her. Was my thinking right about her statement?Is she in some kind of denial? I also found out that she has written tons of bad checks.
2007-08-06 14:43:09 · 15 answers · asked by David r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she is stupid, ignore her, you did the right thing, good for you, don't talk to her more then the kids.
2007-08-06 14:47:25 · answer #1 · answered by Discovery 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the biggest problem with people after a divorce is that they continue to place all the blame on the other person, even years after the divorce. You were having problems through out your marriage obviously. Why did she go to find a new guy? Why did you stay with her after she bankrupted you?
She must have showed signs of selfishness during the time you were dating. But you were probably so in love that you didn't want to notice. But you went ahead and married her, and had children with her. And now, while the two of you blame each other for your divorce, your children suffer.
Grow up. Stop placing blame. You are out of that destructive relationship. If anything, you should be grateful that she cant destroy your credit or pride anymore. Accept half the blame, and move on with your life. And for goodness sake, don't say bad things about her in front of the children.
2007-08-06 14:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by justanotherone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She simply is and always was a self centered individual. People like that never take responsibility for anything they do. They simply expect everyone around them to clean up their messes. And it worked for years in your marriage, it seems. The good news is: she is not your problem any longer. It was also her choice to severe your marriage bond. Don't let her pull you into her never ending troubles again. You are a very lucky man for being free of her. She did you a great favor by divorcing you. Next time she calls say your thank you and happily move on.
2007-08-06 15:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you say, it is a blessing that she is no longer the anchor around your neck dragging you down with her. Personally, I would suggest ignoring any of the comments that she has regarding her wretched life....she has made her own bed, now she can lie in it. It is a pity though that the children have to witness this. Just keep your opinions to yourself unless the kids ask you a definite question....give them a truth full answer, since it sounds like you are the only stable parent in the equation at the moment. Hang in there buddy...things will get better.
2007-08-06 14:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by wahoo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to take responsibility for her OWN LIFE!
I agree with you, I would've had to pick my jaw up off the floor too. (Then I would've probably laughed at her uncontrollably!)
Don't let her play the guilt card on you. You are not at fault for her bad choices. The only thing that you are responsible for is being a good parent. Heck, you aren't even obligated to talk to her! I would keep the conversations to a minimum, and the topic your KIDS! If she starts on anything else, have something else to do! I take my hat off to you for even being civil with this woman. Give yourself a pat on the back, and her a kick in the butt!
2007-08-06 14:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems she has no repect for you anymore. she has put u thru a turmoil and u have top be left tp pick up the pieces, which is not fair from what I gather. Yes u deserve someone better who can treat u with respect, love and have trust on you. i feel nowadays couples just get married bec they 'love' each other but after that the love dwindles and all u get is betrayal which is not worth it at all. God bless and gd luck to you...
2007-08-06 14:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's not right. You took it well..
I would have jumped off a building after hearing that!
You should have said "Well hunny..How bad and broken up can your life be when you have the man of your dreams now that you've left me?" -click-
Seriously.
You had the money, SHE used it. SHE left you.
You were faithful to her, you're doing the right thing.
Life's not always about people doing stuff for you, she has to get her act together, start getting her own money, start growing up.
Good for you bud!
Take care, but sorry to hear about that! Happens to the best of us. :)
xx
2007-08-06 14:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! She obviously doesn't have her head together. You are right...you are blessed that she is out of your life. Good for you that you are picking yourself up and moving on with your life. Someday you will find yourself in love with the perfect woman for you!
2007-08-06 20:12:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay clear...don't discuss personal issue with her, let anything she says go in one ear & out the other. People like her will do anything and blame anyone to justify their actions. The only thing you need to discuss with her is the welfare of your children. You should act as business associates.
2007-08-06 14:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She did you a favor, hon, by leaving you. No, you're fine.. one thing you probably didn't know about addicts (and if she is in debt with gambling, she's addicted ) they already are in a relationship, it just isn't with a man.... not you, and not the one she is with now. Addicts aren't available. Should you be angry?? Nope. And don't even bother to try to figure it out.... One thing for sure... the guy she left you for won't be with her long.... The one anyone jumps to out of a marriage to be with is called "The Bridge" and it is just that... the bridge out of the marriage. Find yourself a nice lady, hon.
2007-08-06 15:01:27 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do bad things, and they ALWAYS comes back to burn you. Yes, you are blessed that she is out and you can move on. I don't think that she is blaming you, but still trying to play on sympathies. Her dishonest ways keep her buried in a hole. It's not your fault. Bad things happen to bad people, and it is no longer your responsibility to lift her out. The End.
2007-08-06 15:21:13 · answer #11 · answered by Cheesetoasto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋