Why do we hate people who different ?

Question

I'm 36 a mother of three and a size 20 . You'd swear i've commited a major crime . Peolpe think its ok to make nasty comments in the street and although i'm not ugly it makes you feel more and more so every day. When will people accept others as they are ?

Answer 1

Its a shame;; i accept you as you are !!!!!

Answer 2

Its just the latest witchhunt - big people and cigarette smokers are the latest victims. As long as you love yourself as you are, ignore all the dunderheads. Look at Dawn French as an example of an "overweight" person who is totally happy with herself and whose beauty shines through. Our society is obsessed with weight for some reason. There is a place somewhere in the world (i think it is Samoa but I'm not sure) where the bigger the women is the more that society sees them as sexually attractive. Also - these pipe cleaner models you see - they are so thin because most fashion designers are gay men who don't like to see curves of any kind but like a boyish body.
Take care, keep your chin up and walk proud
Love Billy xx

Answer 3

we dislike what we don't understand. If something is hard to understand then it also hard to predict. We love to be able to predict the behaviour of others, that's why we have things like stereotypes. So when people can't predict you they dislike you because they think they don't know what's coming.

As you are a size 20 you might find yourself the victim of what Freud called "projection". This means people project their own fears onto you. So they are likely to be cruel to you as a way of dealing with their own insecurities about weight.

So let's combine these. Someone says "she's fat". With this statement they are putting you into a category which for them has predictive behaviour (they might think 'fat' people eat a lot and don't do exercise for example) and they are dealing with their own insecurity about weight ("I feel fat but if I call this woman fat then she is the one who has to deal with it").

How will this help you? Well, hopefully now you realise that you have very little to do with this person's behaviour, it's all in their own head. So don't take it personally. Also, if they have a problem, let them deal with it, continue about your day like this kind of person doesn't exist and you'll feel a lot more comfortable.

Answer 4

Some people just hate society in general, they dont hate you specifically. Other people may be unkind about your size because you have children and they are thinking that in order to take care of kids you first ought to take care of yourself, and if you are very overweight you will not be as fit or healthy or long-lived as people of average weight. However, it is far better to be a fat mother than a skinny alcoholic chain smoking mother. If you are genuinely happy with your size, that's great. If not, join weightwatchers and then the comments will stop

PS Freud was pretty sick man himself and that rubbish about "penis-envy" undermines the credibility of all his other theories.

Answer 5

People are ignorant and rude there is now way anybody can change those people. Just teach your children to rise above thier peers and not be that kind of person. Everytime someone makes a ugly comment like that you know in your heart you will never let your kids become one of thoes people and that should make you feel proud everytime.

Answer 6

never. difference makes people feel uncomfortable and aslong as theres difference their will alway be people trying to make other conform to the norm by hating those who are different and trying to make them into what is seen as normal. the bitchy circle of life im afraid. if you stand out at all ur in for ridicule. not just for being a lil bigger than average, but also for being too thin, having the wrong hairstyle, braces for crying out loud. even people who are too good looking are hated. only average joes/janes are accepted but to be honest, is there such a thing as an average person, who doesnt have something a lil different about them?!

Answer 7

Envy, etc will never let people accept the way others are. Don't worry about it and don't feel ugly. A woman I know is bigger and she is sooo pretty that sometimes I'm really jealous and I'm a size 2.

Answer 8

Because our society has norm and standard that were set by style, the beautiful, the successful and the blonde and the sexy and the famous- so everything that is not in comformity are the outcasts. But its not what conscience dictates - to have peace with yourself and peace with God will make u happy and fuctioning individual- People may criticized and ostricized u but dont worry their not the almighty standard.

Answer 9

Not everyone hates people who are different. Don't judge everyone like their judging you, because their not. A lot of people are unhappy and as the saying goes "misery loves company". It's absolutely true. There are a lot of people out there who don't want to see other people happy because their not happy. It's hard, but try not to let it bother you. And remember, just because someone is skinny, doesn't mean they don't have their own set of problems. That's what I tell myself when I see someone giving me judging looks. I think " I wonder what secrets that person is hiding?"

Answer 10

It's an innate trigger within ignorant people to "fear" the "other". To be quite honest it has nothing to do with fear, and everything to do with intolerance. People have to learn that there isn't just one way of doing things. Not everyone wants to be a size zero, not everyone wants to be straight, not everyone wants to be white, not every Asian person wants to blow people up and so on and so on!
If you are happy then that is all that matters. I know it's hard ignoring fools on the street who think they have the right to meddle in our lives, but there will always be people who try and bring people down to their own state of mind - we just have to try and rise above them!

Answer 11

It takes their insecurities and passes them on to something else! i have a obese friend and i cant tell you the abuse we get. From men in clubs avoiding her like the plague to even my other friends telling me to not go out with her cos shes big. some people need to feel "better" than others, others assume that big = something not nice as in the *** who said fat people are smelly! total child like mentality! But be sure that your own behaviour is not driving away as my large friend has a habit to ask people if they have a problem with her agrssively even if they arent even bothered with her.