when i was with my ex, we would argue alot and wen i thought things were going 2 far id try an go for a walk 2 calm down. he would always stand in front of the door and not let me out and follow me into the bathroom calling me names and shouting abuse, even spitting in my face. eventually my anger built up so much i would slap or punch him. one day after he said something totally hurtful and spat at me i hit him. he beat me up leaving bruses all over me. he convinced me it was my fault, that by hitting him all those times i pushed him over the edge. but i feel that he was in the wrong 4 spitting at me and abusing me mentally and verbally also 4 preventing me from just going 4 a walk 4 10 mins. im i right or is he!!! please help i cant take this any longer.
2007-08-06 12:35:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Why are you on here asking???
Sweetheart, If I were you, I would have run for the hills long ago.
He ain't no man...he is a bully.
And you are now in an abusive relationship that is not going to get any better.
You deserve something better than that!!
Normal men don't provoke or spit or hit you.
Normal men will let you take that walk, no questions asked.
You need to get out and find a nice man.
The one you are with is a PIG!!!!!
*edit*
And now I have read it properly, I see he is your EX!!
Well done.
And to answer your question without the rant...you are RIGHT!!!!
2007-08-06 12:40:40 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were in the right. He was provoking a reaction from you and that was what he got. He had no reason to beat you up. If he hadn't been abusing you the way he was you wouldn't have hit out to stop him. I feel he knew exactly what he was doing and was deliberately building it up to this point so he could blame this all on you. The best thing you did is leave because it was only going to get worse.
2007-08-07 00:08:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one yelling, hitting, verbal or physical abuse in a relationship is not acceptable, you know that, but it does happen. If all of this is happening then neither of you are happy in this relationship. You both probably prefered the "way it used to be" there is a way to get there, but you will need suport. No more your fault my fault talk you are in this togeather and it takes two to tango. Think about all the things you fight about and write them down. If you belong to a church they offer marrige counceling at a reasonable price, but the bottom line is you need an outsiders prospective, a professional, to help the two of you sort through your problems. Love yourself and respect others.
2007-08-06 12:48:51 · answer #3 · answered by troubble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are no longer with him, then I'm assuming you are questioning if you made the right decision and the answer is only yes. No one should put up with abuse of any kind so now that he is your ex, why do you need to know who was right or wrong? It's over. Stay away from him unless supervised.
2007-08-06 12:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does it really matter who is right or wrong you should not be together as you have both abused each other. He should not have spat on you as this is now classed as an assault but it also sounds as if you also have anger management issues for the need to get away to cool down.... For both your sakes finish this relationship now as it will end up with more tears.....and more bruises
2007-08-10 00:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by valf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not good for either one of you.
When you say ex I take it you are not together anymore.
I say if you tried to walk away then you were the better one for trying to keep the peace.
Don't worry anymore unless you are still seeing him then you need to get help so that you do not end up beaten up badly
2007-08-06 12:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by bkamissrike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very glad he is your ex. You were in an abusive relationship and should have left the 1st time he spit, hit or called you names. You deserve better treatment than that.
2007-08-06 12:47:40 · answer #7 · answered by jst4pat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is in the wrong not you i am speaking from experience my ex was a totally pig doing everything you have said and worse but everythin was fine for the first few months together. it wasnt till i thought me and my daughter were in danger that i left him. him blaming you is a control thing and so that you wont take him to the police please do something about it before something really bad happens. i know it will be hard but you cant live like this
2007-08-10 08:21:47 · answer #8 · answered by laughing bimbo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both wrong. He's wrong because he's a jerk who should be locked up and on medication (or off medication if he's on steroids right now). You are wrong for deciding to let him control you. The fact that you are even wondering who is wrong shows that he is beginning to control not only your emotions but your mind, as well. The only right thing to do would be to leave him, and exact justice.
2007-08-06 12:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you dont expect him to hit you dont start what you cant finish, you have introduced violence into the relationship and he has taken his cue from you, I lived in a violent relationship for 13 years until I couldnt stand anymore, but I never hit him, He used to say it was my fault and that I made him do it, there is no excuse for violence, verbal or physical and if either of you have to resort to that I cant see how the relationship can continue
2007-08-07 00:29:53 · answer #10 · answered by simon n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋