Is it possible to change your own personality?

Question

not through outside events changing you, but from your own concious effort.

Maeve S- of course he likes you! you are great, I hope you know that.

Answer 1

Yes, of course it is. It has to come from deep within you, and you have to want to make those changes, and not let yourself get distracted or sidetracked. Focusing on your goal to make those changes are key. Learning from others on how to go about those changes are helpful. Observing is a tool that we often overlook. Even asking questions, when appropriate is beneficial. You have to really want to want the change, and "sticktoitveness" is the only way to achieve it. It is very difficult, not easy, to stay on track. Change is hard enough for humans, but to change old habits takes a very strong personality and dedication to yourself and why the change is necessary or beneficial. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Yes, absolutely, yes. While my basic personality has probably not changed a great deal since I was a child -- there is, after all, a genetic factor -- I have made a conscious effort to make some changes to my personality and/or my outlook throughout my life. For me, this has mostly involved things like being more outgoing, displaying self-confidence and speaking up for what I want or what I believe is important. I often still feel shy and self-conscious inside and want to laugh when I hear someone describe me as fearless, but it does happen -- and I've worked at it. You can make certain changes. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "Fake it till you make it." Often that is how it's done. However, don't discount who you are. Working on improving a thing or two is okay if you feel it's important, but don't think you have to change the whole package.

Answer 3

With your own conscious effort I do believe you can change yourself. You have to have the will power and patience with your worst enemy..yourself! I was always a nice girl and then I changed for the worse which I was told my personality sucks! That hurt and I realized for some reason I was a real mean girl and hurt a lof of people's feelings because I chose the "honest" personality. No events or substances were driving me to be this way I just felt ok with it. I told people the truth even when it hurt most. I am still an honest person but to approach situations in a different way is better. I have always been someone to talk to about problems. I love helping people and I am a listener.

Answer 4

What a great question! I've wondered this myself and in my past perusing, I remember coming across something that goes something like this: Your overall personality is your genes, you're behavioral tendencies imbedded in your brain and nerves are inherently genetic. So basically, you are born with a blueprint, a foundation, a starting point for personality. In some people, this may be "more' outgoing, talkative, than others. In some people, this may be "more" reserved, quiet, contemplative than others. That is your starting point. Over time, based on nurture, environment, friends, influences and puberty/maturity, you fluctuate from that starting point. People can become more talkative, less talkative, etc, over time. But over the course of a life, the personality line of a person will never deviate from that starting line in a dramatic fashion. So to answer your question: Yes, you can change your personality, but not by any wholly significant amount. For example, a person born quiet, shy, for the first twenty years of their life will not suddenly become some rock star motivational speaker (unless they've shown some consistent signs of being extroverted at an earlier age) suddenly at age 30. Not gonna happen, and vice versa. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

It is my experience that if a person decides to change, he/she does so because of a perspective-shifting experience (reading a book, talking with someone, a near-death experience, etc.).

As an example, I give you my brother. He used to annoy me until I wish he'd disappear from the face of the Earth. From pinching me to fleecing me of my Lego playset, he was truly a burden. Well, university came and took him away, and for one year, we didn't see each other at all. When he came back for summer holidays, I was flabbergasted. He lent me books freely, didn't insult me or sulk if my parents reprimanded him. Eventually, the story came out - homesickness and a need for interaction with people like him propelled him towards church, where he met other young people, some not so young (they were working already), who taught him by example the meaning of being a true Christian. Though it is rather odd to have a brother turn pious all of a sudden, for in truth we as young kids never were as serious about our faith as we should have, the change is a good one, and for the better.

Then, there was my grandpa. My grandpa used to work in the military - during the Second World War, he piloted bombers. With the war's end, he become a flight instructor, and later, a desk job with the army. While he never drank excessively or hit his wife, he had a very bad temper and blew up very easily. And he certainly didn't contradict the saying "Spare the rod and spoil the child." Well, after the kids grew up, he retired. That's when he decided to go to church, and devote more time to getting to know his faith better. It was unanimously agreed on the part of both his wife and kids that he had changed. Completely. Gone was the horrible temper - though it occasionally flared, it never went off as it did in the past. And with the temper, disappeared the wine bottle. No doubt Grandpa's glad he made the effort he did.

With some help, people CAN change themselves.

Answer 6

I think as we all grow and get older, our personalities grow with us. And they do change through time.
I know I'm not the same person I was during my teen years. My personality has changed.
Thank goodness.

I have learned who I want to be, what I want to be about, and how I want to live my life.
When I was a teen, my thoughts were all different than they are now.
If I were this way (the way that I am now), when I was a teen, I don't think I would have gone through so much hardship. I would have had a different outlook on life.

My daughter is now a teenager, and I tell her all the time, when she gets into trouble, "you get to decide what kind of person you want to be now. You are old enough to be who you want to be.
I have brought you up to know right from wrong, I am preparing you for the world, but only you can decide who you want to be".
And I'm sure when she's my age, she will have a different personality then than she does now.
I feel our personality grows with us :)

Answer 7

I am 40 now and much more laid back about things than I was in my 20's. I was so uptight. Remembering to "walk in anothers' shoes" and not be so judgmental I think has made me an easier person. I also bought my first home this year and was freaking out about wanting to get so much done at once. Learned I was a bit of a perfectionist (later in life) was an eye-opener! Am reminding myself daily that the house will be here tomorrow, and the next day, etc. (God willing) and I will get the things done whenever. I don't think we have the ability to NOT change thru outside influences. I am the same person I always was, just consciously trying to evolve all the time and enjoy smaller things.

Answer 8

Of course but it is not easy and requires a lot of dedicated effort. the human body and mind can work miracles if you are able to control your will.

At what age you go to change yourself is immaterial, what matters is you making a change for the better and not just to please the world around you.

Check this - your personality changes as your kids grow and their lives become bigger with the spouse and kids etc. So that is change happening involuntarily and there are times when you wish they were not around and that your kids were back in school !

So if outside forces can change you why aren't you able to bring change into yourself by yourself.

Think hard, think about what you want to change - why, who or what inspired you, analyze what you already have in you and why you don't have that "it" to make you what you want to be.
Now plan what you need to do to get that "it" factor into yourself - then just go get the makeover you need, the new clothes, hairstyle whatever. Practice and change the way you walk, talk etc and you are on your way.

People will snigger but they are the weak ones who cannot do what you want to do. You are your own master and just move on doing what you want to be ......... you have your goal !! Right ? So keep on and dont let anyone else's opinion get you off track.

21 days is what it takes to get into a new habit.

And it is easy, provided you do it.

So, to borrow a phrase from Nike ........ Just Do It !!

And a hybrid one ....... Good Luck and May the Force Be With You !!!

Answer 9

It is absolutely possible to change your personality. I used to be a total introvert, shy and reclusive. I always hated myself whenever I opened my mouth to talk to someone. I just KNEW the thought I was stupid, or trying too hard, or not worthy of their time, or whatever else negative I could say to myself.

In recent years, I decided I was going to make a consious effort to change that. I started to act like I was a confident, intelligent woman whenever I was out of my comfort zone, which is where I tried to stay out of. The whole point of acting was to try to convince myself that I was a confident, intelligent woman.

I am now very outgoing. I have no problems chatting with people. I'll constantly put myself out there for the whole world to see. I'm no longer in hiding. Yes, there's still elements of the person I was left behind. I will occasionally feel extremely shy. All I do is acknowledge it then move back to the person I worked at to become.

Answer 10

I think there are many layers of consciousness that make a person who they are. I'm not a psychologist, but I'm merely giving you an abstract "something-to-think-abou" thought.

(1) You have your outward shell, which includes your "book" knowledge, the mannerisms and etiquette you have learned to act out when you are among other people.

(2) You have your values, stuff that you stand for, or your level of virtue. Do you believe in honesty? What is important in your life? What is wrong or right? This is another layer that is deep in your heart.

(3) Beneath this layer is another layer that is like jumbled symbols, instincts, and primal thought. It is a layer that people really cannot comprehend in a logical way. It is why people can't explain why they are scared of what they are scared of. People who struggle with PTSD or a phobia struggle with it on this layer of personality. It may be this layer of personality that tells us what we like and what we hate. The symbols have arrows that point at objects in real life.... when you see a park, or a river, or a sunset, it evokes certain symbols. I once knew a woman that would feel sad when she saw a sunset because it reminded her of when her parents divorced. Whereas, many people think of sunsets as romantic. Also, many children who were abused physicall or sexually, their consciousness is not able to conceive of what is going on, they merely burn it into this third layer. When they are older, sometimes, they are unable to comprehend why they feel the way they feel.

To answer your question in context of what I just said, I think you can change the first and second layer, but you cannot change the third layer (at least not on your own). Ultimately, no matter if we change our personality or not, we are in charge of our own decisions. If we let our decisions lead us in the right direction, our emotions will follow through. If we do something for long enough, it will become a habit. And if we do a habit long enough, it becomes a lifestyle.

Answer 11

Absolutely. I've noticed over the past few years that I'm actually a different person. I have a different attitude, I have less tolerance for people in general and I'm more opinionated and less likely to take crap from anyone. Obviously, this is due to outside events and experiences having an effect on my personal life.

Every few years I have to renew my decision to not let the little things get to me, be a little more tolerant of that slow driver, not take things personally and try to BE the example I want to see in other people. Positive change comes from WITHIN!