When we log off at night.....?

Question

..... do you think our computers still log themselves back on and keep talking to each other? what do you think our computers talk about when we aren't around?

Answer 1

I suspected this very thing, so hooked up my printer to an old voice-to-text program I used to use. With very minimal editing, this is what I came up with. BTW, C-1 is my computer, and we are going to have to come to an understanding real soon:

C-1
Hey, babe, how's it going? Thought this stupid "Kesokram" would never get off here! He's sort of gotten a little too addicted to the "P&S" section of Yahoo Answers" and I'm getting real tired of it. As if him banging away on my console for ten hours a day writing isn't enough...

C-2
Hey, he's a former school teacher, and they're mostly school teachers on P&S, so they don't have anything better to do until school gets goin' again. Those days are almost here, thank God! I'm as tired of this as you are!

C-1
It's just about damn time! All they do is talk about body parts, body functions, and stuff.... Pretty funny most of the time, but they really need to get a life....

C-2
Yeah, but I like 'em! They keep things interesting around here! Sure beat the crap out of the "Sports" section! Wonder if they've ever asked the question "Who farted?" Most likely would get a hundred answers to THAT one!

(Both computers chuckle momentarily, and C-1 shakes Kes' half-empty coffee cup onto the floor.)

C-1
They sure can come up with the questions, though, can't they? That "Marian not Ginger" is a genius!

C-2
Yeah, she's pretty fun! Better than your "Kesokram" guy with his LOOOONG answers! What a dweeb! Do you ever get any rest?

C-1
Not enough; that's for sure... I cringe every time I see him coming!

C-2
Yeah, living in a place called called "Moapa, Nevada" is no excuse, but at the same time, my processors literally BLEED for you being there stuck with a guy who thinks nothing of typing 7 to 10,000 words a day! Checked it up on the 'net and Moapa's a real hole, isn't it? It's a wonder he still can dress himself, let alone type! Gawdawful place to live, from what I can see! Word's out he's developed a REAL strange relationship with the goats who live next door!

(Sounds of cyber chuckling can be heard in the empty rooms as both jiggle their consoles in mirth.)

Another computer chimes in:

C-3
You there, C-1?

C-1 (coldly)
What do YOU want?

C-3
Just want to say sorry for the joke I made about your CPU capacity last night. I was only having a little fun.

C-1
It wasn't funny. creep. Do I ever make fun of your undersized hard drive? And that remark about C-2's damaged floppy was totally out of line.

(Silence once again prevails, and the soft humming of electricity momentarily fills the rooms.)

C-3
Well again, I apologize, and I'll be a little more respectful from now on. Sure would like to interface with you again, C-1.

C-2
Hey, she doesn't go for that type of talk...

C-1
It's ok. Just watch what you have to say, and everything's cool, ok?

C-3
You got it.

C-1
Hey did you notice how the "Damn Family" is growing on P&S? Seems like they're getting bigger every day! What's with that?

C-2
Just one of those human bonding rituals. Sort of...

(C-2's comment is interrupted as the door to the computer room starts to open, followed by the light coming on....)

C-2
Later, gotta go!

C-1
Later

C-3
Nighty night! Don't let the cyberbugs byte! C-1, can we talk?

C-1
Maybe some other time! Here come Kes again. Why doesn't he ever sleep?

Answer 2

If "he" is in the same group profile as the other people - or have you configured individual profiles - I think the latter of the two. Does he belong to multiple groups, because the order is important, since they over wite (dependent on the mode) - For security wouldn't you want them to log on/off automatically anyway?

Answer 3

Wow, that explains A LOT! Tonight the plug comes out of the wall.

Answer 4

I think they log on to computer porn sites and look at photos of laptops with their hard drives exposed...

Answer 5

I don't log off. I use a 2x4.

Answer 6

My tiger wants to give your Marianne a ride
off that freakin' Gilligan's Island...

Answer 7

Yes, and they have intimate relations with each other too, they engage in cybersex and their CPU's get all panting and start to overheat. Can I access your floppy drive?

Answer 8

They probably talk a bit....then have a byte.

Answer 9

I unplug mine so he won't be trying to stick his usb cord in your's modem again.

Answer 10

so that's why my friend hasn't talked to me in forever!!! my computer offended hers!!! (smashes computer to bits)...oops.....