If you had circumstantial evidence.....?

Question

If you had circumstantial evidence that said your husband was cheating, but not enough evidence to say without a doubt, would you confront him with what you did have, that only suggested he maybe cheating? Or would you "lay low" and gather more evidence before saying anything? BTW...there is a history of cheating. I gave him a chance, but this "evidence" I have is suggesting he blew his chance. Unfortunately the evidence doesnt come right out and say, "I'm cheating on you".

Answer 1

That's tough. You are giving him a chance yet he might have blow en it. Yet you don't want to come out with it yet cause he could still be being a good boy. Yet, on the other hand if he is cheating then he might bring something home.
Well, is there away to get more evidence real quick if he is?

Answer 2

A better question is: do you? While your secular example is excellent, much of science depends on circumstantial evidence, particularly the big bang theory and the theory of evolution. Even Einstein's relativity is circumstantial - that's why they are theories and not laws. But we ASSUME they represent reality, and use them as if they ARE reality, despite their being only circumstantial. We can do a lot because we believe something is true - at least until we find something that contradicts our assumptions. Despite everything, there has been nothing discovered that contradicts the assumption that "creation is evidence of a creator". In other words, the belief in God (or gods) holds up, even if His existence can't be proven. On the other hand, the belief that there is no god holds up every bit as well.

Answer 3

If he's already cheated once before and now you're finding other evidence of cheating, it is time for you to make some relationship decisions. If he's pursing other women in any fashion; such as making or receiving phone calls, emails, perusing the personal ads, arranging times to meet, then he's telling you that he's still interested in other women and he's still interested in cheating. So, what more "evidence" do you need? Certainly you don't need to be right there in the room while he's got his lips and hands on someone, do you? The thing you need to ask yourself is, how long do I want to play this game? Is this the kind of person who I can fully trust and who I can be fully happy with? I don't believe you will ever be happy if you're looking over your shoulder and he's giving you reason to do just that. Dump em.

Answer 4

You say history- how many instances? If it’s happened more than one time- it’s true that a leopard can’t change its spots. Some guys are just programmed that way- and that’s just the way it is. How did it unfold in the past? Did you find out? Have suspicions and confront him? Or did he admit it to you without prompting? Also, what is the weight of the evidence if his past had been different? Are you perhaps thinking more into it? If he’s cheated on you more than once- then ask him right out, present what you have, and listen to his explanation. If it doesn’t ring true- you need to walk. If he gets mad- you need to walk. If there has been one incident prior- then lay low for a bit and see what else happens. You don’t want to jump to conclusions and if you guys have made a lot of progress, then you don’t want to risk damaging that if your suspicions are wrong. Good luck.

Answer 5

Then lay low until you have all the evidence. He cheated once so you need more than circumstantial evidence or he will just try to lie his way out of it.

Answer 6

If you can't trust him to tell the truth when confronted then you should lay low. Although if you can't trust him why bother staying with him. If I were in your situation this would be the kind of time to call a private investigator. But like I said if I felt pretty sure he was up to something (after cheating on me before) and I was sure that if he did do it he wouldn't tell the truth then I would probably just leave. And my reasoning would simply be "I can't trust him"

Answer 7

If you want the marriage to last, then you probably need to do it now. From your post, it looks as if you are aware that there is a good chance that he will deny things and try to weasel his way out of it.

If you wait, the other relationship could grow stonger, and he will feel more safe. I would have a hard time forgiving him if I continued to let it go on. I am a now or never person!

Answer 8

Either get definite evidence or walk away.

Men have been caught in the act and lied.

Regardless, it sounds like you have some communicating and repair work to do. Best of luck!

Answer 9

Seriously, what does your gut feeling say? Whether its circumstancial or hard evidence, you still have some kind of proof.
If you have some kind of idea when he is cheating or who with, either follow him or confront the other party.

Answer 10

I'd gather more evidence. There's no way he can squirm his way out of it or flat out deny it if you can prove it without a doubt. Don't act as if anything is wrong, though.