i may have gotten pregnant again, but husband agrees that abortion isnt the way to go, i need advice?

Question

So i had my son 10 months ago. we couldnt love him more. we are both terribly young and didnt plan on another baby for like 6-7 more years. but i have missed my period and all the signs of being pregnant are back. i took one test but it came back negative so im taking another tommorw (that would make a week between tests). i talked to my husband about what he would like to do if we are pregnant. at first he shouted"abortion!" but i just cringed. i know im not exactly ready for another child, but it could be fate. i have been taking my birth control daily, never late. we are soooo careful. i dont see how this could have happened. i am also worried about what it will do to my body if i abort or have the baby. will it damage me equally? i had an ememrgency "T" incision c-seciton with my first and they strongly recomended not getting pregnant for another year. i need some advice, im scared about this all. as for us, adoption isnt an option. i dont know if we should abort or keep it.

to the first answer, i can tell you didnt read the entire thing. we wont do adoption, its not fair IMO.

i DONT like the idea of abortion, i even cry thinking about it. but its my husbands decision too. as for adoption, i dont like thinking somone else is with my child.

natalie- i just turned 18.

Answer 1

First- you don't even have a confirmed pregnancy yet.

Second- If you had your son ten months ago and if you are pregnant again then your uterus will not start doing any serious stretching till the 2nd month or later which will be a year since your son was born, If what your doctor's are concerned about is Uterine Rupture.

Third- Adoption is an option, just not one you are willing to consider for whatever reason. Though I am unaware of how adoption is less fair to a child than aborting it.

Fourth- That all said, this is a decision for you and your husband after you have all the information from your doctor i.e. possible risks.

Answer 2

First off hun it's been nearly a year from your son's birth already. The baby will not be big enough to cause damage to your uterus by the time you hit the arbritary 1 year mark. Definately make a doctor's appointment and have them do the exams to make sure your uterus is in good condition and go from there.
I'm sorry your husband was so insensitive. On the flip side I know for a fact that having a little boy almost a year old is a very trying time of development and he may not be ready to jump into raising another baby so soon. Also look at the fact that he may be scared s**tless after what you went through to have your son and is terrified of what may happen this time around. He just reacted with a gut instinct.
And just a little info even if you are perfect in how you take birth control pills it is still quite common to get pregnant if thats the only method of prevention used. My sister has a 1 year old daughter to prove it!

Answer 3

If you are pregnant and you were being careful, I would think it's fate. Don't have an abortion, just think how would you feel to have your 10 month old gone because you had had an abortion. I think you and your husband can make it work with a second. He may complain now and you might complain too for a while, but if and when the baby arrives you both would love it so much. Just don't do anything that in your heart you know you will regret.

Answer 4

The pill can fail, even if you take it religiously and perfectly. It usually doesn't, but you may be the lucky 1 in 100 (or whatever the number is) who got pregnant on the pill this year.

10 months is pretty close to a year. When they told you to wait a year before getting pregnant again, they couldn't know the exact rate at which you would recover. If you want to know if your body is ready to handle another pregnancy, I strongly advise talking to your doctor. It seems likely to me that you could be physically ready for another baby.

I'm not sure why adoption isn't an option. It's what I'd do in your position (assuming the doctor thought the pregnancy is safe for me), even if it's unconventional.

Answer 5

If you don't mind me asking- why isn't adoption an option? Because they recommended you not have a baby so soon? Does the doctor think it is too risky so soon? I had a c-section, but it was only the bikini line cut, so my doctor didn't say anything about getting pregnant too soon. I would say that you need to ask some questions of your doctor, and see if it is medically okay for you to have another baby so soon. If he believes it is, I would look into adoption. There are so many people in the world trying to conceive that just can't have a baby. Also, you and your husband need to sit down and have a LOOOONG talk about what you both want. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

KEEP IT! please keep it. Im not gonna give you a whole big thing about god but think about your life down the road and how you will feel knowing that you made the decision to abort. If you cringed when your husband shouted abortion then think about how youll feel after its done. Whenever i hear about these things i think about how i would feel if i did this because i always like to put myself in other peoples shoes and this just makes me cry every time because i couldnt imagine going through with killing somone that was a part of me and didn't even get the chance. I believe in fate and that things happen for a reason so just try to think of this as something that was meant to happen and please think carefully about your decision and don't let it scare you or your husbands feeling influence you. i will keep you in my thoughts =)

Answer 7

This is something that you and your husband need to discuss and decide together.

1) Abortion in the first trimester isn't going to make you less fertile. Just know that .

2) Regardless of whether you are or are not pregnant, you need to talk to your doctor about this as well. Surprises are going to happen, and now you have to make a decision. Even if you don't get a positive test tomorrow, bring your husband to the doctor and talk to your doctor about this--what are the dangers you would be facing? What dangers would the baby be facing?

In the end, there is no right answer. You and your husband need to decide TOGETHER.

Answer 8

Maybe you are panicking for nothing but i can understand how you feel I'm pregnant again i have a lovely 5months old son, I'm so scared to death but only thinking how i was sick when i was pregnant i feel sad, and don't want to go back again so soon so i have two choices abortion or having it and get depressed with it. In my opinion if you feel that you are strong inside and physically go for it but from what i read in your message you want to have it the only concern is you c-section , i would advice you to talk to your doctor.

Good luck and be strong

Answer 9

Go see your doctor. If you are at major risk by having another child, you need to be well informed of what could happen and what your options are. Take your husband and talk to your doctor honestly about your concerns. They can help you make the best decision for the two of you.

Answer 10

Oh girl you so young my sister had her's to at that age.she had one nephew at 17teen and the other at 18.Proudly to say they are fine.Listen to your heart girl.I don't believe in abortions at all but your choice.However,I beleive in adoptions.But since you married that's a bad idea.You also taking birth control so I think God granted you a gift.A baby miricle and blessing.If I were you I would kept it.Your and your hubby decision not mines.Good luck and pray.