I have almost been married for 2 yrs. I'll be turning 20 next month. my husband is very controlling. when we first got married he was physically abusive to me. now its not as bad but he still gets that way every few months. he knows my email password-this one is secret and he doesnt know i have it. he doesnt want me talking to my family or making any friends. he is scared of me going to college as well as learning to drive. we also work at the same place which makes to difficult to leave. he says he wont change. he also has threatened some pretty nasty things if i did decide to leave him.
2007-08-06 08:38:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok...don't walk out of this marriage...RUN! He is an abusive man...it will never get better...in fact he may kill you....Do this now. Move out of state if you have to....he is threatening every aspect of your life.
NOTE: To the pathetic *** that feels the need to give me a thumbs down on EVERYTHING I say...Hope you feel better about your pathetic life.
2007-08-06 08:43:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
OK Your husband has control issues. If he has already told you that he will not be changing, then take him at his word. If in fact he does change I would assume that it would be for the worse. Working at the same place would place a burden on leaving him, but it is the work places responsability to keep you safe while you are there. Try talking to a supervisor about things and see what can be done about keeping him away from you at work if you should decide to leave him. As far as your driving, I would simply tell him that at the age of 20 years old its time that you got a license and are getting one no matter what he thinks. It's your right to have one anyway. The main reason that this guy is so controling to you is because you allow him to do it. You really should tell him that you had a life before marrying him and if he doesn't watch out, then you will have one without him as well. Good luck.
2007-08-06 09:13:41 · answer #2 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your life on this marriage. If he was physically abusive before and still is from time to time, your never safe. Leave him and move far away before your another victim from an abusive spouse. Your life is valuable and should be cherished, don't let it be cut short by someone you thought loved you.
He may threaten to do nasty things but most of it for show and the need to feel power over the weak (you). Gather enough money, tell your family that your leaving but don't tell them where and leave him when it's safe to do so.
He's already trying to make you cut all ties with family, friends, not being able to drive, no college, then no job but staying at home. It will escalate and you will become his slave and punching bag. Your in the first stages and can escape while you have self confidence and pride, don't let him take that .
Enjoy life and see how wonderful it is, don't settle for this guy, he'll bring you nothing but hurt (emotional and physical).
2007-08-06 08:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dearest Friend,
I’m really sorry about your situation and I hope you find what works for you as soon as you can.
You will never change your situation unless you are truly fed up with it. Two years is a long time to live the way you do. You must ask yourself if you really want to leave your husband behind for good, never to see him again. If the answer is anything other than yes, or if you say “yes, but …” then you are not ready to leave and you will continue to suffer for much longer.
For now, you must seek the help a professional organization that deals with domestic violence. You cannot do this alone. When you are ready, ask someone you trust to help you make a plan. Do not trust just anyone, they might tell your husband of your plans.
My best to you.
2007-08-06 08:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by teacup_trashy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to leave....let's see controlling. Bad.
Physically abusive. Worse.
"Not as bad," does not exist in the same arena as physically abusive....any abuse is wrong.
You have two choices, get out or stay and become a statistic on the news.
You are twenty years old, do you really want to lose your life by staying with this jerk?
Stop making excuses and go now.
You can always find another job, do not use that as the biggest excuse ever.
Move out and move on.
Would your parents allow you to stay in this situation if they knew what was going on? I think not.
2007-08-06 18:44:11 · answer #5 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg Hunny you are really in a tough spot, since you can't talk to any of your close friends and you guys work together, can you call out sick one day or be at work and go home sick, and try to contact domestic abuse so they can help you out. You need to find a safe way to get out. I am going through what your going thhrough right now the thing that kinnda heped me was I finally got the police involved and got in touch with domestic vilioence. He is in jail right now, actually he might be coming out in a couple of moths Parole ain't it great, but anyway start hiding money do try to do what ever you can. Feel free to email me, I wish uou the best of luck.
2007-08-06 08:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart u need to get out of that relationship A.S.A.P. They do also have something called a T.P.O. Temporary Tresspassing Order. I had to put one on my ex that turned into a stalker. But be sure to make a report with the police everytime he hits you or you will have trouble getting one. I'd move out while he's at work or something. You are to young to be in that bad of a situation.
2007-08-06 08:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you luck ~ I would leave and go to a womans shelter to start seperation/divorce proceedings. You marriage does not sound healthy at all. You are young and will be able to regroup yourself, but make sure you have help. You are going to have some difficult times ahead (Worse if you stay in your situation). Your friends and family are important throughout this, make sure you somehow reach out to them for help.
2007-08-06 08:43:23 · answer #8 · answered by charm_link 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He only gets away with it because you let him!! Why are you putting up with this crap? You are to young and have your entire life ahead of you to be happy! It should be easy to leave, doesn't sound like you have kids, so just go! Have a family member pick you up and be done with him. File for divorce and have a restraining order put against him! Don't worry about his threats, you can deal with anything he tries to do after you are away from him! Only YOU can change things!!
2007-08-06 08:45:14 · answer #9 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the first thing a controlling person will do is isolate you from family and friends. the next thing he will do is make nasty threats as to what he'll do if you leave.that is meant to scare you into submission. apparently, he's succeeding. you know what you need to do. you just need the courage to do it. stop making excuses for him!!! you claim he beat you but" it's not as bad now" what is that??? either get out now or be ready to deal with a lifetime of fear.
2007-08-06 08:44:24 · answer #10 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha, kick him in the nuts and run
No really i'm not being funny, kick him and do a runner.....u didn't mention once in that whole thing that you had any feelings for him, so from what i can see you just need to get out of the relationship and tell someone about what he's been saying to you
2007-08-06 08:47:09 · answer #11 · answered by Phantom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋