What the hell is his problem? and what do I do?

Question

I've been going out for 7 months with this guy I know at the company I work for. We both are rather old fashioned. He's 43 and I'm 35. Nothing romantic has happened yet, no hand holding, hugs or kisses! At work, we walk together every day for half an hour. On some weekends, we go out. He treats me to movies and dinners but seems he's sloooow!! He checks out my boobs but never makes a move!! We get along well, have an intellectual connection and lots of common interest. I want him to look at me as his girlfriend. He hasn't had a girlfriend in over 4 years. He's shy and is Catholic A COMPLETE LATE-BLOOMER, if you know what I mean. What is going through his mind? How do I transition from pal to girlfriend? I don't want him to think I just want sex. But I like to have a tender romantic relationship with him and not just be his movie pal. How do I do that properly? He never calls me on a weekend to do something spontaneous, it bugs me...want him as a boyfriend. HELP. Read more below.

We don't work together. We work in different divisions of the company. There are many couples in our company who dated and got married here. As long as I don't report to him, which I don't; it's fine.
One more thing, I can't just talk to him straight. Neither one of us is up for straight-out-of- the-box communication. He likes finess and so do I.

This past Sunday I dressed up really sexy for the first time. Any other guy would have at least tried to prolong the date or at least touch me once, instead of just looking me up and down, but he didn't. He just dropped me off and went home!!!!!! What's up with that???
He isn't gay, he's had a girlfriend before but he was dumped after two months and he hasn't been dating in the past 4 years. Help!! I hope he isn't double-timing me with some other woman, is he??

Answer 1

If the guy is a religious man, you can't just flaunt your body hoping to get a rise out of him. He probably just wants to establish a relationship with you first before being intimate. He doesn't want you in the sack just yet. Maybe he wants to see if you are wife material. The guy sounds like he doesn't believe in having sex before marriage. Maybe he is trying to see what you are about. I think when you put on that sexy outfit, you made him feel guilty, and he didn't want to lust after you so he dropped you off early and went home (to pray). (lol)
Poor thing.... That is kinda cute.
At least you don't have the kinda man who only wants to get you in bed and acts different after. Right?

Answer 2

Have you ever seen the movie Pay It Forward? There is a man in it who really cares about a woman but is afraid to have an intimate relationship because he has severe scarring all over his body.

From what you've written, it sounds like this gentleman may have some "fear of intimacy" issues. There could be dozens of reasons a person might have this. I know that you said that you both are not "straight out of the box" conversationalists, however, I think if you really do want to go forward with this relationship, you need to try to get to the bottom of what he may be afraid of . Sometimes the only way to do that is to let him know that you are there for him no matter what and that you really care about him.

Maybe you could watch that movie Pay It Forward together. It is really good. And it's a love story, drama.

Answer 3

I really think you need to tell him that you would like be more than just friends. I bet he feels the same way, but from how you have described him, I dont see him as being the type to really put himself out there and say how he feels first. If you have the courage to say something I bet he will have the courage to act on it. And if not, then at least you can stop wasting your time thinking about someone who is not interested. Good luck!

Answer 4

If your very old fashioned, and he knows this, he will probally hold off. Here's an idea, why don't you make a move??

Answer 5

just tell him how you feel.