My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years and have been wanting to get pregnant so bad! well finally we did!!! yay! and we have such a wonderful relationship, or so i thought! a week after we found out i was pregnant, he went out to the bar, got all whiskey drunk and made out with a girl that i hate and he know i hate her! he says he was taken advantage of, but he didnt push her off or say no. My mother says"i know you need him to get through this pregnancy, but i would not marry him!" and now he pressuring me into getting married b4 the baby is born. Am i just setting myself up for more heartache? what should I do? what would you do?
2007-08-06 08:25:08 · 11 answers · asked by 315 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think the whole drunk excuse is so lame. People need to learn to stand up and take some responsibility for their actions instead of trying to make it ok by saying it wasn't their fault, that they were drunk.
Three things happen in life where you learn the most about the people you're closest to::: You get pregnant, somebody dies, you get married.
In your case, you're pregnant and now your boyfriend has cheated on you. If you can find it in your heart to forgive him, forgive him but, most times, trust is completely blown and without trust, there's no point in a relationship. Most times, once a cheater, always a cheater. I would get rid of him before the baby is born but, I'm a heartless b i t c h like that.
2007-08-06 08:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put off the marriage until the baby is born (who wants to be pregnant on their wedding day, it's tiring enough without being pregnant).
Tell him that you prefer to wait until the baby is born and offer him a date. Give him reasons why you should wait (besides the drunken kiss) and hope he can understand. If he's truly in love with you, he'll understand and be more attentive to your needs and your babies needs. Only then will you know if he's worth it.
I was young and 4 months pregnant when I was married, I loved him and thought he loved me. It was not a whole lot of fun during the wedding and the years that followed put a strain on the marriage. It took a lot of hard work, tears, fights, maturing and both straying once before it finally leveled out and became better. I wished I had waited and made sure, it would have saved a lot of heartache.
Don't go into marriage unless both your hearts and minds are together on it. If your mind is telling you to wait, listen to it, it's the only thing that is always right.
2007-08-06 15:42:55 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should get married. You are stronger than you think and you can handle the pregnancy and everything else without him. Keep the good people in your life like your mother or anyone else who genuinely shows their support and love and do not allow yourself to marry a man who does not show you respect. Of course if he wants to be around for the baby then good for him...he's not a total loser...but make it clear that you are ok with him being around to be the babys father but not as your boyfriend or husband or anything of that nature because he has completely disrespected you and being drunk is not an excuse for his behavior. Getting drunk in the first place was the bad decision. Good luck.
2007-08-06 15:56:21 · answer #3 · answered by lostident 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT get married just b/c of the baby. You will only regret it. Have the baby, take your time, and then think. I would give yourself 2 years after the baby is born to see where things are. That's what I did, I don't regret a thing.
PS - If he's already out messing around on you when he KNEW you were pregnant, kind of makes you wonder what he did BEFORE you were pregnant.........
2007-08-06 15:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, hun but I agree with Mom on this one.
A mature and responsible man who loved you and truly wanted to have children with you would not be out in a bar kissing another woman, drunk or not.
It takes two people to kiss, he was not taken advantage of, if a woman comes on to my husband, he knows enough to put a stop to it, immediately.
Best of luck with the baby, do not marry the baby daddy, you will not stay married, or he will not be faithful.
2007-08-07 01:56:37 · answer #5 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one...probably would have done best to have gotten married before getting pregnant....but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't have went to the bar and behaved so badly. The girl at the bar didn't take advantage of him...he was looking to hook up with her. Why did he feel the need to go get liquored up in the first place? Do not marry him unless you have 100% trust in him or else your marriage will be doomed.
2007-08-06 15:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
tell him there will be no marriage until you can trust him.i would also tell him no bar without you.if he doesnt like it go stay with your mom and let him be.if hes not going to be a supportive partner then im sure he wouldnt be a very good dad if he would rather have free time and friends then spending time with you and not the bar scene.he wants you tied down to the baby and him and if you marry him it will only get worse.
2007-08-06 15:57:16 · answer #7 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheater! Have the baby, establish paternity, get child support, and hopefully find a mate that won't cheat on you! There is NO excuse for cheating!
I agree with mom.
2007-08-06 15:30:09 · answer #8 · answered by Carp 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont get married for the child sake it would not be a good idea to get married for that reason it would be bad all the way around
2007-08-06 15:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by Becky T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the lying cheating toad.
2007-08-06 15:41:44 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋